


Watershed Moment

by jhunieilarde



Category: The Order (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:16:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 28
Words: 56,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28712658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jhunieilarde/pseuds/jhunieilarde
Summary: What if Vera really has been plotting all along to get the Vade Maecum?A shake up starting after they defeat Edward Coventry.
Relationships: Hamish Duke/Vera Stone
Comments: 99
Kudos: 92





	1. First Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> So, this idea came to me this morning and I just started typing it. I finished rewatching season 1 and seeing how Vera smirked while she ran her fingers over the Vade Maecum in her drawer gave me this one so we'll see how it goes from here.

_Chin up, head held high, and play the part well…_

Vera has been teaching herself that for years and she’s on the verge of succeeding. It’s not easy to start everything from scratch and climb her way up but she does it with grace like how she trained herself to do. The Order’s legacies respond well to that trait. They’re all about image and Vera made sure she got one no one can say no to. Now, that she’s on the last stretch of her years’ worth of marathon, she cannot give up. She worked so hard for this. There is no turning back.

“Are you going to stare at those herbs or what?” a voice startled her which prompted her to turn around fast.

She recognized him as one of the faculty staff in campus. He got a smug smirk on his face for being able to catch her off-guard.

“Rushing me will not help either, especially if I am working on limited resources”, she responded.

He crossed the distance between them and he’s standing extremely close to her. She tried to step back but she got trapped between his body and the table behind her.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

Is he going to eat her? She’s not done yet with the potion and she’s certain they still need her. Of course, she can fight him and just basically kill them all but that would derail her plan.

“I can hear your heart beating fast, Magus. You’re scared”, he noticed.

She met his eyes with a challenging look.

“You don’t scare me although I am so close to losing what’s left of my patience so if you don’t mind stepping back, I have a potion to finish”, she denied.

He did not back off.

“Why are you helping us all of a sudden? You’ve been kissing Coventry’s ass for years”, he asked.

Good question. He’s not like the others, that’s for sure. This one knows how to use his brain.

“Well, he has not been pursuing the Vade Maecum Infernal years ago. In case they haven’t kept you on the loop, I don’t want him to finish this ritual”, she answered.

“…and from what I heard, you gave him the third part of the book”,

“That was me hoping he would fail in getting the others but thanks to Ms. Drake’s skills and talents, he was able to complete them so that plan backfired”, she explained.

“I don’t buy it. You have so much to lose and you’re here in a werewolves’ den. What are you going to get out of this?” he asked again.

Vera pushed herself towards him and she immediately felt the warmth of his body. That move caught him off-guard for a moment and it’s about time.

“…like you said, I have so much to lose and yet I am here helping because I don’t want the Order to be ruled by a mad man and I don’t appreciate being interrogated by a werewolf no less while I’m in the middle of making a potion. I can be relaxing in my office right now but I am here so whether you deal with it or get out of this crappy basement and let me finish”, she snapped.

They stared down at each other until he’s satisfied that she’s not kidding around about helping. He started to step back.

“Sorry, I had to make sure you’re not going to set us up. Those idiots upstairs are my responsibilities. I’m sure you’ll understand what that’s like”, he apologized.

She can relate to that. It’s not part of her plan to care for her disciples but she had grown to care for them. She knows how it is to have lives depending on her decision-making skills.

“I’m sorry, I did not catch your name”, she muttered.

“Oh, Hamish. My name’s Hamish Duke”, he introduced himself.

“Ah…the TA…I knew you’re working in my school. It appears you guys are everywhere”, she expressed and turned around to resume working on the potion.

Hamish watched her closely as she carefully puts into the bowl the different herbs.

“How does someone like you ended up being the Temple Magus of the Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose?” he suddenly asked.

She gasped and turned around only to find him standing so close to her again.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she exclaimed, hurt at the insinuation.

“I see you in campus and despite what others think of you, I know you care deep inside. You’re not as cold as what most people say about you. How many students who are failing their grades you salvage from getting kick out of the school? You could have easily let them go but you gave them second chances so they can keep their scholarships. No other Chancellor or staff in Belgrave will do that. Why did you choose to be part of a secret organization who uses magic to destroy lives?” he clarified.

She saw hurt flashed before his eyes. Jack expressed his reason for wanting to dismantle the Order and she cannot blame him for that but what about the wolf in front of her? What’s his motivation? It seems to her it’s more than the duty of being a Knight. There’s a backstory there.

“The Order gave me this job, Mr. Duke. You should know that seeing you’re working in Belgrave. All high-ranking positions in that campus were filled in by the Order. Belgrave is being run by the Order so choosing only one to keep between the two is not really an option”, she answered.

They’re body pressed against each other again and his thigh just conveniently got pressed between her legs and hit her center. She was not able to hold back the gasp that escaped her lips and she felt a wave of arousal hits her. This is not the best time and place to be enticed and certainly it’s not ideal to want to be fucked by a werewolf. When she met his eyes again, they’re filled with lust too.

“What are you doing?” she asked but it came out seductively which is not what she’s intending to do.

“I don’t know. What do you want to do?” he asked her back with a low growl in his voice.

It turned her on even more. She bit her lower lip and he caught on her unspoken response. He pressed his thigh into her center further and she couldn’t stop herself from grinding. Her breath is becoming ragged as the pleasure in her builds up. She couldn’t believe she’s getting off on a werewolf’s thigh. Hamish can smell her arousal and just couldn’t stop his primal side from coming out. His hands reached behind her and grabbed a handful of her ass to press her further into his body.

“Tell me to stop”, he muttered, holding to the last of strand of sanity in his brain.

She licked her lips and stared at his lips.

“You should learn how to finish what you started, Mr. Duke”, she responded and that sent all rationality out of the window.

He picked her up and set her on the other table. They kissed hungrily, angrily, and other aggressive emotions that made it rough and messy. His hands wandered all over her body while hers clenched fistful of his hair to pull him down.

“Oh god…” she breathed out when his hand found her center and rubbed her through the fabric of her underwear.

“You’re so wet. Is this for me?” he teased.

“I don’t see anyone else in this basement, do you?” she retorted in frustration.

She does not appreciate being teased. Hamish chuckled before dropping to his knees and pulling her to the edge of the table. He then set her underwear to the side and lapped at her throbbing center. His ministrations almost left her breathless. He did not waste any time and he added two fingers into her.

“Fuck!” she cursed as her head fell back.

He pumped his fingers into her without mercy as he eats her like she’s the last meal he’ll ever have. The heels of her shoes are digging onto his back. She’s on the precipice of her orgasm when they heard the door upstairs followed by Lilith’s voice. Vera groaned in frustration but pushed Hamish away from her and got off the table.

“Shit”, he cursed when senses came back to him.

They cannot do this with now two werewolves upstairs. They catch their breaths before she saw their disheveled looks and she cursed some more under her breath before uttering a spell that fixed their appearances.

“Not a word of this to anyone”, she ordered with her finger pointed at his face.

It earned her a smirk.

“Take this secret to my grave”, he agreed and she walked out of the basement as he trailed after her.

\------------------------------------

“I’m a bargaining chip?” she heard Maddox asked and that made her roll her eyes.

She knew the Knights took Maddox as hostage to derailed Edward from bonding with the grimoire even though he does not know yet that Jack is his firstborn son. A part of her wanted to hand over Maddox to Edward to watch him fail miserably but she wondered if she has the guts to sacrifice the young boy for that.

“Oh for god’s sake…” she groaned as she entered the living room.

“Auntie Vera?” Maddox got confused before she put him to sleep.

“Never tell a hostage they’re hostage”, later, she’ll need to powder the boy.

It was hard to keep a straight face while bantering with Lilith with Hamish around and she was grateful when he volunteered to take Maddox upstairs. She should just get some blood from them and finished her damn potion but no, she decides to care about the bleeding girl and healed her. When Kepler and the other disciples came for them, her hand was forced to fight or she can say goodbye to her endgame.

“We won’t need two minutes”, she muttered and she caught Hamish frowning at her.

“You’re that confident in me?” he asked once they’re outside.

She glared at him.

“No. I can take care of these idiots on my own under two minutes but please, feel free to help out. Just don’t kill anyone”, she answered and started firing spells.

Of course, she’s right about her time limit. By the time she met with Hamish by the door, everyone was sent flying away from the Den. He stood in front of her proudly without any clothes on and she couldn’t help herself from staring up and down before she cleared her throat and magic him a robe.

“How thoughtful…” he teased which made her groaned.

“You’re insufferable”, she strutted inside the house and demanded for a werewolf blood which was provided by Randall.

\----------------------------------

She knew it’s him watching her from behind and she let out a sigh as she poured the finished potion into the vial.

“I got work to do”, she announced.

“I don’t intend to stop you. I just came down here to check if you’re ready”, he said.

Vera turned to Hamish and realized what he meant by that.

“Oh no, you’re not walking into my temple. You stay here with Maddox”, she pressed and tried to walk past him but he did not budge.

“Okay, I know that you don’t trust us walking around your territory but we trusted you to be in ours. We’re working together, right? Right now, the Order thinks of you as a traitor until we defeat Coventry so we’re not going to let you walk back in there alone. We promise not to kill anyone. We’ll just scare them”, he explained.

It was not such as bad idea. Who knows what Edward left for her in the temple? There could be a trap. If anything goes according to plan, she’ll get what she wants and she can send the wolves out the door without a problem, assuming Jack and Alyssa will not screw up.

“Fine. If you kill one of my disciples, I’ll pour this potion on you first”, she threatened.

He smirked at her and ran his hand over her cheek. The gesture alone made her stomach fluttered.

“I never would have guessed how adorable you look when you’re irritated, Chancellor”, he muttered before heading upstairs.

She groaned. This is going to be a long night.


	2. Finishing What They Started

Being backed up by three wolves as she storms into the temple feels great. If under different circumstances, she could get used to having them around but unfortunately, it’s not how the world works. Knights and the Order could never be on the same side. They can already hear Alyssa screaming inside and for a moment Vera feared that the two screwed up and Jack ended up sacrificing himself.

“Hands. Now”, she ordered to the wolves who transformed back into being humans.

She magic them a robe before she slashed their palms.

“Place your hands onto the door”, she instructed and the three obliged.

Vera closed her eyes and centered her magic onto the door before uttering inaudible spell that burst the door open.

The three wolves almost stumbled forward but they got the door opened and saw as Edward slowly gets sucked into the grimoire. A smirk played upon her lips. It’s a beautiful sight to see Edward just fade away. His eyes met hers and realization sinks into his brain.

“I’ll see you in hell”, he said…directly to her although the others did not realize that.

She fought the urge to respond to Edward and allowed Jack to put the potion onto the grimoire. She made sure to stand close to it just to keep the illusion of fire going. No one needs to notice that she faked the potion. Lucky for her, Alyssa was not present in the basement when she made it. Otherwise, she would know she switched the ingredients for the Nephilim’s Tears.

“Great work. Now get the hell out of my temple”, she ordered which earned her scoffs from the wolves.

“After we helped you get rid of Edward, you’re kicking us out?” Randall asked in disbelief.

She turned to them and realized, Hamish is now standing next to her. When did he get there?

“As far as I know, Ms. Drake and Mr. Morton are the only disciples in this room with me right now. Unless you want the others to discover your identities, you might want to get out of here as soon as possible”, she answered.

It made sense to them and the priority of protecting their identities outside of being a Knight went on top of their lists.

“Can we be excused too?” she raised an eyebrow at Jack, “Come on, we just deceived my father. I think we’re entitled for some rest”, he argued.

She rolled her eyes at that.

“Fine. Go. I’ll take care of this mess”, she agreed.

Alyssa wanted to protest and she’s sure the girl will volunteer to stay but Jack held her hand and she sighed before going with them. Hamish stared at her for a moment.

“This is the part where you leave, Mr. Duke”, she said.

“I was hoping you need some assistance”, he offered.

“That won’t be necessary. Goodbye, Mr. Duke”, she declined and walked back to her office without looking back.

\------------------------------------

Her eyes are fixed on the unscathed Vade Maecum Infernal sitting inside her drawer. Even closed, she can feel its power radiating off of it, like it’s calling for her. She almost had not heard the door opened which made her slammed her drawer shut.

Hamish came in, now dressed in proper clothes. She arched a brow at him and was about to ask him why he’s back but then he closed the door and locked it which made her heart jumped. She’s already hyped by the pull of the grimoire and she can feel herself getting turned on by the look on Hamish’s face.

“Mr. Duke, aren’t you supposed to be with your friends drinking yourselves into oblivion?” she asked.

He did not respond. He only walked around her desk and trapped her between his body and her chair backed to the table.

“Get up”, he ordered.

A part of her wanted to protest but words died in her mouth before she can say it out loud and she found herself getting on her feet. Hamish quickly pushed her chair aside and pinning her against her desk. She immediately felt his hard member on her belly.

“I remember you telling me that I should learn how to finish what I started, no?” he reminded her and she knows she’s already soaked.

“So what are you waiting for?” she dared.

He picked her up and set her roughly onto her desk before his lips latched on to hers. She did not bother swallowing her moan. Her body is literally overflowing with desire and arousal. She felt him about to go down on her again so she stopped him.

“We’ve done that already. I want you inside”, she demanded.

She felt the fabric of her underwear bit her skin as he ripped it off her. The pain only added to her pleasure and he noticed how much she likes it. He grabbed a fistful of her hair and yanked her head backwards earning a gasp from her.

“I want to see you when I fuck your brains out”, he said.

There’s no preamble or teasing. He thrusted into her in one swift motion. He watched as her mouth hangs open in a silent scream. He’s huge and she felt herself struggling to accommodate him, it’s bordering on painful. He leaned over to her and latched his lips onto her neck, giving her time to adjust to his size.

“Let me know when you’re ready”, he whispered.

Her eyes went open and she looked at him in surprise.

“What?” he asked, now his primal urge to pump into her mercilessly is close to dissolving. He fears he actually hurt her.

“Nothing. It’s just surprising to have someone who cares whether I’m ready or not”, she answered.

Most of the men she slept with never gave her the time to get ready or to adjust. They just went on ahead and take her the way they wanted, more concern of their own release than hers.

“Do you want to go slow?” he asked gently.

She can tell by his breathing that it is going to be hard for him to go slow. Besides, she likes him rough.

“No. I’m ready now. Fuck me”, she answered and she saw his eyes flashed silver at her request.

He growled into her ear before thrusting into her hard, her desk shakes. How long has it been since she felt this alive? She’s been consumed for so long, she forgot what it’s like to live.

“You feel so good around me”, he muttered.

Vera had taught herself that emotions are weakness. She cannot allow herself to start feeling it now but Hamish is not helping. She wants him to get rough with her, to fuck her like what those other men did. A simple act of release. He is taking her hard on her desk but the way his hands are caressing her gently is sending her mixed signals. What on earth is going on? He is confusing her. When he gently guided her leg upward, his member hit her g-spot and she cried.

“My god!” she screamed as he hit that particular spot again and again.

“I want to see you come again”, he said and she did. “Beautiful”, he complimented before giving in and falling over the cliff as well.

\----------------------------------

Few days after that night, she had been appointed as the Grand Magus by the Council. It’s quite against the tradition but they’re just basically scared of her and wanted to be on her good side. After all, she’s the one who managed to defeat Edward by conniving with the werewolves.

“Grand Magus, what are we going to do with the werewolves?” Kepler asked.

“What about them?” Vera asked her back.

“Well, they’re our mortal enemy. We know who they are, where they live. This is our chance to eliminate them once and for all”, Kepler answered.

“May I remind you that they helped us stop Edward from bonding with the Vade Maecum and destroying us all…”

“…and you let them destroy that precious grimoire…”

“Are you telling me that you’re okay with Edward’s plan to sacrifice Maddox onto the altar table then?” Vera pointed out.

“I am not saying that, Grand Magus. I am just saying that the werewolves are still a threat to our organization and as Grand Magus, it’s your responsibility to make sure they’re not going to harm us”, she explained.

That is true. Vera sighed and looked at the others. She can see as plain as day that they all agreed with Kepler.

“Let me think about it. I’ll let you know tomorrow about the proper action regarding the Knights”, Vera said.

“Proper action? Those savages took my eye out!” Kepler exclaimed.

Vera glared at her and Kepler settled down.

“Edward thought solving problems with violence will bring peace but he’s wrong. I am not making that same mistake. We’ll handle this delicately”, she replied.

\------------------------------------

VERA’S HOUSE

When she got in her house, conflict had settled in. Of course, it is the logical choice to just kill the Knights and save themselves a whole lot of trouble but they did help them defeat Edward. If it was not for them and Jack, she wouldn’t get what she wanted.

“Do you have a habit of staring into spaces like that?” Hamish asked.

“How did you get in here? How did you know where I live?” she asked.

He shrugged and went inside before pulling her into his arms, crashing his lips onto hers which made bag dropped onto the floor. She felt herself melting.

“I’m a werewolf, remember? They say I’m the clever one so…”

He kissed her again.

“Did they say you’re also the cocky one too?” she retorted which made him chuckled.

“I missed you”, he muttered before backing her against the wall.

He pressed his body onto hers without breaking the kiss. His hand had disappeared under her dress and played her with his skilled fingers.

“This is not smart at all…” she breathed out as her eyes rolled back her head.

“Did not hear you complain the last…five times we did this”, he mentioned.

There is nothing to complain. Sex with him is great. It’s fucking mind-blowing. She’s referring about their situation.

“The Council wants your heads serve on a silver platter”, she blurted out.

Hamish stopped kissing her and stared deep into her eyes.

“You’re the Grand Magus now. What did you tell them?” he asked.

“I told them I’ll think about it”, she answered.

He let her go and paced across the room.

“You’ll think about killing us? Is that what you meant?” he asked in disbelief.

“Yes”, she answered bluntly.

“What? Did this mean nothing to you at all?” gesturing between him and her.

“Did you think that fucking the Grand Magus is going to give you free pass for killing our disciples? What did you expect really? The Council has every right to demand for you lives after everything you caused us. It’s not arguable that you helped us deal with Edward but Mr. Morton tried to dismantle the Order from the inside, almost prompting us to be on par with the necromancers. You might be able to help us do some good but you’ve done us a lot of bad first before that. I am doing my best to buy you some time”, she explained.

“I do not think of that at all. You know I don’t. It’s not going to kill you to allow yourself to feel something every once in a while, Vera”, he replied before walking away.

She pinched the bridge of her nose. Hamish just made the option of killing them incredibly hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am being swayed into writing more of this story but i will continue writing my other one. thanks for the comments!


	3. The Girl

Vera stared at the Vade Maecum Infernal long and hard. All those years of kissing snob asses, polishing their egos, smiling for them, dressing up to please their eyes had paid off. On top of it all, she’s been appointed as Grand Magus of the Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose. She really did hit the jackpot on that one and she knows she owes that to the Knights of St. Christopher. They paved the way for her. They gave her the opportunity to strike. Edward realized that when it’s too late. It’s his fault anyway. He allowed himself to be caught up with his ambition that he failed to see her as a real threat. He only saw her as a threat to his quest for the grimoire but she’s more than that.

As Grand Magus, the Council expects her to do her first major task which is how they will handle the Knights. She may be an expert in betraying other people but she knows how to show her gratitude. Those kids were just doing their jobs. They fight bad magic and Edward demonstrated bad magic by collecting the parts of the Vade Maecum and killing Jack’s grandfather.

The decision should be easy. It’s written on the books. The punishment for anyone who harmed a member of the Order is death. The Knights had killed more than what’s required of this sentence and therefore, the punishment should be death for them. The thing is, Vera couldn’t bring herself to kill them. It is true that she does not have the stomach to kill children. After all, three of them are students in Belgrave and one…well, that one is more than a staff for her.

To be perfectly honest, Hamish is the one making it extremely difficult for her to decide. She should be glad to be rid of him and his cockiness but the last few days she had not seen him had been agonizing. Somehow, she misses that cockiness of his, that smug grin on his face whenever he succeeds in catching her off-guard. Not only that he’s extremely good in bed, he’s also an excellent conversationalist. She discovered that they got so much in common and their pillow talk had been filled with history, literature, arts, and some other random things that just popped into their heads at the moment. That never happened to her, not even then. She had grown to understand that sex is nothing more than a release or a tool. She had expected that from Hamish when he almost made her come down their basement. She thought it’s just his way of using her to save their asses but she was wrong.

How can she let this happen? How can she allow herself to get into this kind of situation?

She got what she wanted right in her hands. She got no use of the wolves or of Hamish but still, she wants him. A part of her yearns for him…a big part. She also knows that she cannot make the Council wait any longer. She must come to a decision or otherwise, they will deem her unfit for the position and they will appoint someone else who will most likely agree to kill the wolves.

Against her better judgment, Vera picked up her phone and dialed a number she did not know she memorized.

“It’s me. I need to talk to you…in my house”, she said and then hang up.

With a wave of her hand, she sent the grimoire back to her drawer inside the temple. She just hopes that this act of mercy or foolishness will not back fire on her soon.

\----------------------------------

Few minutes after the call, Hamish came into her house. She can tell he just got off a class or most likely ended his class early to get to her.

“Have a seat”, she said and he did.

He took the spot next to her on the sofa and their close proximity makes her want to grab him and just feel him.

“You have decided whether or not to kill us”, he guessed.

Always intuitive…

“It’s not an easy decision but you can breathe. No one is going to kill you”, she informed him.

Is it just her or there’s a glimmer of hope that flashed in his eyes?

“You persuaded the Council? I knew you can do it. Randall and Lilith doubted that you can but I know you have it in you. You’re not like the rest”, he said.

A pang of guilt stabbed her right on her chest but she masked it fast.

“I’m going to tell you a story and I need you to listen. No interruptions, whatsoever”, she instructed.

Hamish went serious and get comfortable.

“I’m all ears”, he agreed.

Vera took a deep breath.

“There’s this girl from Washington who lived in a quite well-off life with her parents. They were happy or at least it’s what she could remember. One night, her father yelled for her to hide. She couldn’t understand why but she got scared of the urgency in her father’s voice that she obliged and hid. She chose her usual hiding spot as a kid which was the kitchen cabinet. Then, she heard arguing voices before she saw her father flew and slammed onto the kitchen counter followed by her mother who hit the dinner table. Her father begged for the life of his wife but the man who broke into their house just stated he’s only following orders from the Grand Magus of the Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose and he killed them with a spell”,

Hamish swallowed as he listened closely to her story.

“Of course, the girl did not know what the Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose was or what actually killed her parents. The girl was only ten. She got bounced off the foster system since she got no other relatives. She’s in and out of foster homes until she landed on a seemingly nice family who had little income. They weren’t nice. They were monsters. Her foster mother made a slave out of her and her foster father…” she breathed in through her nose, “Let’s just say, he introduced her to things no kid should be aware of at that age. The girl vowed to get out of that place once and for all so she worked hard. She studied hard and she got out of that place…”

“…the girl ended up in Belgrave University as a scholar. It must have been fate or something because it was there that she learned about the Order and she jumped on the first opportunity to get in. Once she learned what they’re all about, her goal changed. She stopped aiming to be the best version of herself and be successful. No. She wanted the Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose to get on their knees and bow at her feet. Of course, that’s easier said than done. Do you know what it would take to achieve that?”

“Power”, he supplied.

“Exactly. So the girl set a goal: to obtain the most powerful object the Order has. With that thing in her possession, those who murdered her family will come to revere her and do everything she says. She even thought about just destroying the whole organization…”

“Did she? Did she destroy the organization?” he couldn’t help but asked.

“Sadly, she couldn’t. Emotions are weakness and she let that get the best of her. She grew to care and instead of destroying the Order, she set out to rule it and change it drastically so it will be better and then, if anyone objects to that…well, no one will be able to stop her, right? After all, she got the most powerful thing in the world”, she answered.

Hamish shifted uncomfortably on the sofa.

“Why do I get the feeling that I know this girl?” he muttered.

“…because that girl is me”, she revealed.

He knew that somehow. It’s in the way she told that story. She looked like she’s reliving every second of that in her mind. She’s so lost in it.

“Did you get what you want? Did you get the most powerful thing in the world?” he dared asked.

He prays she’ll answer no. He got his suspicion but he prays he’s wrong.

“I do. I got everything I wanted. I’m the Grand Magus now too, am I not?” she answered.

They saw it got destroyed. They were there while it’s literally burning.

“Why are you telling me all of this? I am a Knight, Vera. You know what my job is”, he asked again.

She knows. She knows what telling him would entail. She already knows what he will do once he left her house.

“…because you’re the one person who ruined my plan”, a small sad smile formed upon her lips. “This, whatever this is, is not supposed to happen. The law says anyone who kills a member of the Order should be punished with death. Deciding your fate should be a no brainer for me but I can’t kill you. I just can’t. You became that glitch into a perfect plan of mine and now, I don’t know what to do with you”, she answered.

This is the first time she told him how she really feels without being defensive about it. It caught him off-guard and his expression softens.

“It’s not too late yet. Let’s destroy the book. You don’t need it to rule the Order. You’re already doing it and you achieved it not by using some grimoire. You got it through your own merits. You don’t need to lose your humanity for the Vade Maecum. We can still do this. Me and you. I’ll be here for you”, he suggested.

It’s a tempting offer but it couldn’t be compared to years of piled up frustrations and determination to get it. It’s not easy to let go.

“I asked you here so I can say this to you in person. I have no regrets meeting you down in that dirty basement. I have no regrets being with you and I do like you a lot. You’re the first person to ever make me feel something other than hate and anger. You’re the first person who treated me like I’m human and not an object to be played with. I want you to know that I care, that I will always care no matter what and that’s why I am doing this”,

“Okay, Vera…you’re scaring me. What are you talking about?” he asked.

“Thank you for allowing me to feel and be alive again. I forgot how it’s like”,

“Vera, stop. What’s going on? Why are you talking like this?”

“I’m sorry, Hamish, but there’s just no other way”,

“Ver—”

A cloud of white powder swirled in his vision before he fell unconscious on the sofa.

Vera sat there, palm still open, after powdering him with Pulveris Memoria. It’s the only way. Then, she leaned over to him and got close to his ear.

“Your name is Hamish Duke. You work at Belgrave University. You love literature classics and you’re an excellent mixologist. You’ve never heard of the Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose or the Knights of St. Christopher. You’re normal. You have a life. You’re free”, she whispered.

She stared at his beautiful face and placed a small kiss on his cheek before sending him away with a wave of her hand.

“I’m sorry”, she apologized and hugged herself as she allowed herself to cry for the first time in so long.

He really did manage to awaken her heart. It’s almost cruel. He made her feel alive just to leave her so she can feel every minute of that pain, of what it’s like to be alone again. She felt that before when her parents were killed, when some of her foster parents returned her to the orphanage. She felt that when that monster would come into her room every single night and laid a hand on her knowing there’s no one else that would help her. Now, she’s feeling it again. It’s not because Hamish left her. It’s because it’s the only thing she could do that will ensure he gets to keep his life. Even though it’s for the right reason, it still fucking hurts.

Once she’s done crying, Vera wiped her tears away and picked up her phone once again. She cleared her throat and once certain she can hold a conversation without breaking down, she dialed.

“It’s done. It’s time. You know what to do. Powder them and make them forget”, she ordered and ended the call.

The huge space of her house dawned on her and it made her feel so incredibly small. For the most powerful person in the world, she feels like crap.

“Fuck you, Hamish. Why did you do this to me?” she cursed as more tears fell down her cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a sick mind, I know. I had a hard time writing this and I almost cried. Sorry


	4. The Voice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, i went boxing yesterday with my friends and ended up working my body way too hard that i felt sore the entire day. My muscles are sore like hell so i spent the entire day today playing zelda on the couch...but I pushed through and here's the new chapter.

FOUR MONTHS LATER

…but it felt like eternity for Vera. It’s not quite what she imagined it would be once she got everything she ever dreamed of. She’s the Chancellor of Belgrave Univerity, the Grand Magus of the Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose, and she is in possession of the Vade Maecum Infernal. She should be jumping in joy but no. She felt like climbing the walls of her office and bashed her head against it repeatedly.

The last portion of her plan has been left unexecuted. Bonding with the grimoire is the last step and she would have everything and yet she couldn’t do it. How many times did she stare at the book, willing herself to do it? She tried mustering everything she got in her system and still, she chickened out by the end.

_You don’t need to lose your humanity for the Vade Maecum. We can still do this. Me and you. I’ll be here for you…_

Though he’s not literally with her, his voice got stuck in her head, stopping her from bonding with the Vade Maecum each time. Sometimes she cursed herself for letting herself get caught up with the storm called Hamish Duke. Life would have been easier if she had not met him down that basement, or rather, her life would have still remain the same: dull, cold, filled with overwhelming vengeance. She wouldn’t have known how to laugh every time he flaunted his extreme confidence in his self. She wouldn’t have known what it’s like to be touched by someone who actually cares or be treated like an equal, with gentleness.

“Oh for goodness’ sake…”

She slammed her drawer shut at yet another failed attempt to find courage to get it over with. Why can’t she overcome his voice and bond with the book already? It’s not like she needed to sacrifice a firstborn for it. She found a way to work around that little hiccup a long time ago. Another incantation allows a practitioner to do spell, rituals without the need for a sacrifice and she found it and performed it. She can bond with the Vade Maecum anytime she wants but the problem is, well, the problem is Hamish Freaking Duke.

“Yes!” she answered her phone in a not so good kind of mood.

‘Sorry to bother you, Chancellor, but today is the first board meeting of the semester. You asked me to call you for reminder’

“Sorry. I woke up with a splitting migraine. I’ll be there in ten”, she responded and hanged up.

\-----------------------------------

BELGRAVE UNIVERSITY

It’s supposed to be a simple meeting, a go-over the campus’ calendar, budget, and other boring stuff when Hamish walked in the room and took his seat. Well, he’s no longer a TA. He’s faculty now so of course, he’s part of the meeting.

She felt like dying while sitting across from him. She can see in his eyes that he does not remember her at all other than being the Chancellor and it hurts more than getting hit by a spell. All the times they were together, all the nicest things he said to her, none of that is playing in his mind right now. It’s one thing to be someone’s past but to be erased at all? Well, it’s safe to say that she couldn’t wait to get out of the conference room at the moment.

Outside, her eyes followed Hamish as Selena Durov, her assigned disciple to keep track on Hamish, approached him and blatantly hooked her arm into his. What was her cover again? Is she playing the part of his girlfriend? The idea made her blood boils. Maybe it’s not her part to play but eventually she and Hamish became close and now they’re together. It’s not Selena’s fault, of course, but Vera couldn’t help but desire to choke the life out of the girl for it. In a rush to get away from all of it, she turned around quickly and bumped into Jack Morton.

“I’m so sorry, Chancellor Stone! I did not mean to. It’s my fault. I’m sorry”, he apologized as he picked up her folder from the floor.

Vera eyed his new hair and she just knew that Gabrielle Dupres is the one responsible for making him a blonde.

“Just watch where you’re heading next time, Mr. Morton”, she responded and took the folder from him.

“Yes, Chancellor. It won’t happen again”, he replied.

She searched his eyes for anything telling but all she saw is freedom. He’s free from all the bad things that happened in his life. He’s free from the memories of his mother dying, his grandfather dying, of his own father wanting to sacrifice him for power. That sort of made her feel better. Maybe she’s done something right after all. Now, all the Knights are free to live their lives as normal kids. They can pursue their dreams which had been ripped apart by their sworn duty of being werewolves.

“Are you okay, Chancellor?” Jack asked.

“Yes. Sorry. I was just thinking of something. Well, better get going. You don’t want to be late on your first day”, she answered.

Jack smiled at her before running away to avoid being late. Maybe she’d done Hamish a service by taking away his memories. Maybe, just like with Jack, she was able to take away his bad memories too…including what he had with her. With that, Vera sighed and walked away.

\------------------------------------

Days flew by fast and Vera remained herself, her humanity still intact. The grimoire is sitting pretty inside her drawer, untouched. She had not performed a single spell from it thanks to that voice inside her head telling her not to. Her disciples informed her that the powder is losing its effect on the Knights, that somehow their hides are fighting to get their memories back. It’s a problem. She thought about reinforcing the Pulveris Memoria but it may have some side effects for the Knights and she wouldn’t want to risk it.

“How about we induct them as disciples?” Alyssa asked while they’re talking inside her office.

“Excuse me?”

“Think about it. We can monitor them closely and they’ll be valuable to us”, the girl explained.

“Have you forgotten about the Council? Being clueless is the only thing that’s keeping them alive right now and you want to bring them right into the lion’s den”, Vera argued.

“The Council only knows of Jack being a werewolf. We can alter the Council’s memory of him, make them think of another name. It’s more effective than powdering werewolves. The Council don’t have a hide that will fight the Pulveris Memoria”, Alyssa suggested.

Vera arched a brow at her.

“Ms. Drake, your suggestion is resembling treason”, the girl looked down upon realizing what she just said, “…but I do like your ideas. It’s more risky if they happened to get their memories back out there and lose control than here inside the temple. I’ll take care of the Council. You take care of their induction. Do it by the book. I don’t want any problems”,

“What about their guards? Gabrielle, Angus, Selena, and Nicole?” Alyssa asked.

“You’ll think of something. Now get moving”, Vera answered.

\------------------------------------

Drugging the Council was a piece of cake. They’re all suckers for a nice dinner party and all she needed to do was spiked the drinks and it’s done. Alyssa succeeded in making the wolves’ induction like normal recruitments and they all aced the trials from she heard. Their guards have been told that having them part of the Order was done in favor of them so they don’t have to constantly guard them all the time which was a relief for all of them, except for Selena. The girl apparently enjoyed her time with Hamish so much.

At the party in honor of the new members of the Order, Vera kept herself isolated inside her office. She cannot bear to be in the same room with Hamish. That would be risking her mask slipping off. They can have their fun outside and she can work inside her office.

“Grand Magus”, she closed her eyes and stopped signing the document on her desk. “I noticed you’re not drinking yet so I made you something”, Hamish said and walked in her office with a glass of his concoction.

She dared looking straight into his eyes and she saw anticipation. He’s looking forward to her reaction on the drink he made for her.

“Thank you, Acolyte”, she replied and took a sip.

“Did you like it, Grand Magus?” he asked warily.

“It’s amazing. You have a talent with drinks, Acolyte”, she answered.

She knew that already but she has to pretend, like what she used to do all her life.

“If you like, I can fill up the position of the bartender here at the temple. I just noticed the bar area has been neglected which is a shame. I adore it already”, he offered.

He flashed her a smile and her walls are threatening to break.

“Well, bartending is not really an assignment here at the temple but if you insist, it shouldn’t be a problem as long as you can fulfill your official duties for the Order”, she said.

“Of course, Grand Magus”, he replied and left her alone with the drink.

She finally allowed herself to breathe. She had not realized how long she’s been keeping that one in while he’s in front of her. Even with his memories gone, he still know what drink to make her and it’s killing her inside. How long can she play this game?

\-----------------------------------

More days passed and she can feel herself reaching her limit. Selena stop bothering hiding her flirtation with Hamish even with her around. The subtle move of holding his hand while they’re doing rituals or the flirting glances are making Vera want to scream but she does her best to keep it inside and play along.

On the 27th year since Rogwan last resurfaced, Vera must face the demon and send him back to hell in accordance with the tradition of the Order. Kepler bothered to come to the temple to lend a hand in the preparation which she welcomed. She’s a nice distraction from the whole Hamish situation. Kepler can occupy her whole energy by just talking.

“Are you nervous?” Kepler asked.

“No. Are you?” she asked her back.

“Very”, Kepler answered honestly.

After seeing her vault empty, nervousness settled in Vera. At least, the Vade Maecum remains safe in her drawer but now, the sickles are gone and she has no means to send Rogwan back to hell.

“Who in the world would dare to rob us?” Kepler asked as they panicked.

“The Order is not exactly a convent. The names would go on forever”, Vera answered sarcastically.

Kepler groaned.

They worked for hours in finding a way to do the ritual without the sickles but it’s impossible. Rogwan is going to get through.

“Shit”, Vera cursed under her breath.

At the time of the ritual, she already knows the alternatives she and Kepler formed will fail. When Rogwan makes an appearance, Vera did not feel fear. In fact, she felt nothing at all. It’s an odd reaction after seeing a demon. She has never seen a demon before. Rogwan frowned at her sensing no fear in the Grand Magus. He wanted her to feel fear.

“You don’t have the sickles, Grand Magus”, he noted right after eating Alyssa’s fear.

“I’m glad you noticed”, she replied.

Rogwan laughed.

“You are fascinating! You don’t have fears. People do fear something but you don’t, not even death. No. You’re not afraid of dying. I wonder why that is”, the demon commented.

If he digs in deeper, he would know and he can’t know or else, the others will too. She made the first move to stop Rogwan from analyzing her before her secrets got exposed. She felt the demon’s power hit her before her vision blurred. Warm hands caught her before she landed on the cold floor and before she blacks out, all she can hear is…

“You’re going to be okay, Vera. I’ll be here for you”, he whispered.


	5. The Part Where She Lost It

Vera came into consciousness while she’s surrounded by different voices arguing with each other. She can immediately tell that one of them is Kepler. When she opened her eyes, she saw Hamish gently dapping warm cloth on her forehead and her initial response was to just stay still and let him take care of her but then…

_You’re going to be okay, Vera. I’ll be here for you…_

That does not sound right for someone who’s not supposed to remember anything. To any other people, that would sound ordinary but not to her. She knows how it felt when Hamish says that kind of thing to her. She jerked at his touch and swatted him away.

“Where is he?” she asked right away.

“He got out and wreaking havoc outside”, Kepler answered.

“Isn’t there a way or a spell that we can use to kill that demon other than the sickles?” Randall asked.

Vera became aware of the people in her office: Kepler, Alyssa, Randall, and Hamish. That’s an odd combination of people. Alyssa sat across from her with both feet on top of her desk and she remembered that the demon ate her fear.

“Unfortunately, the sickles are the only weapon powerful enough to fight Rogwan”, Kepler answered for her.

Alyssa suddenly scoffed.

“Just let the damn wolves out. They can handle it”, she blurted out.

Vera saw Kepler’s face slowly morphing into a question mark and she fought the urge to punch Alyssa Drake on the face for spitting that out loud.

“Getting your fears taken out of you apparently includes your brain, Ms. Drake”, fortunately, Kepler bought that one, “You’re dismissed. Kepler, if you will be so kind to place the enchantment all over the temple to protect out disciples”, she instructed.

Alyssa walked away with a roll of her eyes while Kepler is grateful for the task and quickly left. Vera waved her hand and locked the door.

“So, what’s all this about wolves?” Hamish asked.

“Yeah, I am so confused”, Randall seconded.

Vera breathed in through her nose to contain her temper. They do make lousy liars.

“Where is my inventory?” she asked them back instead.

The two frowned at her.

“You said they were stolen, Grand Magus”, Hamish lied again.

She stared at his eyes deep this time.

“Where is my inventory? I am not going to ask again”, she repeated.

Randall turned to Hamish who sighed in defeat.

“We lost it”, he finally answered.

Vera quickly got up her chair and paced back and forth inside her office. How did they get their memories back? Their guards make sure to powder them regularly. Unless someone found a way to block the powder’s effect on them and they’re just pretending all along. Her brain quickly pieced it all together. _Alyssa Drake_. It was her who suggested that she inducted the Knights into the Order. She was the one who facilitated the _tests_. There were no tests. She just made it all up and got them into the Order. When they got inducted, they already got their memories back and they’re all just pretending ever since.

That drink…

Hamish gave her a drink during the party and like a fool, she accepted it. She thought that she just fell asleep in her office due to exhaustion but now, she knows the real reason why. He drugged her and Alyssa allowed them access into her vault so they can survey it. Then, came back later on to rob her blind. She wouldn’t have realized that her entire inventory were stolen if she had not had the need for the sickles. It’s all been planned from the moment she said yes to inducting the wolves into her organization.

“Get out”, she muttered under her breath.

“Are we not going to talk about how to stop Rogwan?” Randall asked.

That made her scoffed.

“So you’re interested now in killing the demon that got loose because of you?” she asked.

“Hey, you stole our memories for a year!” Randall argued.

That’s right, she did. It was her mistake.

“Yes, I did…and I shouldn’t have bothered if I have known this is what I will get in return”,

She waved her hand unlocking the door and opening it wide.

“Get the hell out of my temple. If you don’t, Rogwan is going to be last of worries”, she said.

She waited until she can no longer hear their footsteps before shutting the door and locking it with her magic. Her chest is heaving from trying her best to contain the anger that’s rapidly growing. Too much for caring…everyone was literally advising her not to bother saving their lives and she pushed it through. Kepler will have a field day about it when she finds out that it’s the Knights that robbed her and was accompanied by none other than Alyssa Drake. They did not just rob her blind. They also screwed up her ritual and now Rogwan is out there terrorizing students. If they’re trying to finish what Jack started in dismantling the Order, they’re doing great so far.

Vera made her way to her drawer and took out the Vade Maecum Infernal before opening her vault. Hamish’s voice kept repeating in her head, telling her to stop what she’s about to do. Without the sickles, Rogwan is unstoppable, unless she became more powerful than him.

_You don’t need to lose your humanity for the Vade Maecum. We can still do this. Me and you. I’ll be here for you…_

“Well, screw you, Hamish”, she hissed before placing the grimoire on the secret altar down the vault.

The temple is more like her second home. She knows every corner of it including the altar that can contain the most delicate rituals. Even Edward was not aware of its existence.

“satus caerimonias istas”, the book flipped its pages until it stopped revealing a pentacle of runes. “incipere”,

The pentacle started glowing as she put her palms on top of the altar. The runes from the pentacle leaked out of the page and crawled straight onto the altar all the way to her palms. Vera felt the burn of the runes as they crawled her skin. She can smell the smoke coming from her burning flesh but she must finish the ritual. Though she can do it without a sacrifice, if she won’t finish it, the book will claim her life. The burning reached her chest and she couldn’t help the scream that came out of her mouth.

“potentiae vincula mea apud tua”, she muttered.

Vera dropped onto her knees as the burning stopped. She finally let go of the table and leaned against it as she rested on the floor. Her inflamed skin gradually healed. The migraine she had been fighting since morning dissipated. She stopped feeling the exhaustion and she feels like she can do just about anything.

She got back on her feet and saw the grimoire now empty. It’s nothing more than just a book with blank pages. Her nails traced its cover and the pull she previously felt while staring at it is gone.

“Thanks, Edward”, she muttered before strutting her way out of her vault.

\----------------------------------

At her office, she was greeted by Hamish panicking inside the room when she walked in. They looked at each other first before she waved her hand, closing her vault. She stared at him for some time and she’s puzzled. The guilt she used to feel about her erasing his memories was no longer in her chest. His effect on her whenever he’s close is also gone.

“Do you need anything, Mr. Duke?” she asked rather coldly.

He frowned at her.

“What happened? Are you okay?” he asked her back.

The concern is clearly there in his voice. She just doesn’t care or at least, not anymore.

“Why wouldn’t I be? As far as I know the threat is currently outside”, she answered.

He watched her as she made her way to her desk and poured herself a glass of scotch.

“We heard ringing. It was so loud and I ran over here. It came here. Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked again in confusion.

Vera downed the liquor fast.

“I’ve never been better”, she tried to walk past him but he grabbed her arm. “Do you need anything else? I have a demon to take care of”, she asked.

They locked eyes and she saw fear and panic in his eyes.

“What did you do, Vera?” he asked her back.

_You don’t need to lose your humanity for the Vade Maecum. We can still do this. Me and you. I’ll be here for you…_

Those words lost their effect on her.

“My job…at the moment, it’s to clean up your mess. Let go of my arm”, she answered.

When he failed to follow her request, a soft wave emanated from her that pushed him backwards but not hard enough to send him flying.

“You said the sickles are the only weapon that can defeat Rogwan”, he said.

“I did not say that. Kepler did. Please see to it that you and your dog friends are not here when I get back. I am done protecting your asses and since you got your memories back, the Council has no reason to keep their enchanted blades to themselves anymore. Ms. Drake will be dealt with accordingly for her treacherous actions in restoring your memories, making sure Pulveris Memoria will no longer has its effect on you, and ushering you to my vault. So, if you want to remain alive by sunrise tomorrow, I suggest you start packing now. Consider it as my last act of mercy on you. There won’t be a next time. Goodbye, Mr. Duke”, she declared before walking away.

\------------------------------------

Rogwan is eating fears left and right at the school grounds when Vera found him. She can see the other wolves trying their best fighting him and it looks pitiful as a matter of fact. They know they don’t stand a chance but they still keep on trying. She sighed and walked into the battlefield where Rogwan greeted her with a smile.

“Grand Magus! So glad of you to come!” he greeted.

“Stop wasting your time with those dogs. They’re not that worth it. Trust me. I know”, she said.

Rogwan pushed the Knights away and turned to her.

“Well, I would love to play with you but you don’t have what I want. You have no fear”, he responded with a pout.

“…and you do apparently”, the demon frowned at her, “You have a great amount of fear…fear of the Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose”, she revealed.

“I. DO. NOT!!!” his voice echoed like thunder, “I AM AN EMPEROR DEMON. I HAVE NO FEAR!” he exclaimed.

It almost made her laughed.

“Sure. Whatever you say…it sounds pathetic but let’s roll with that”, she mocked.

Rogwan growled at her and tried to hit her with his power which she deflected with a wave of her hand.

“What?”

He tried again and again and again.

“For an emperor demon, you’re quite disappointing”, she insulted.

Rogwan gave it his all but no attack of him even landed on Vera. When he’s done, she gave him a taste of hers and it stunned the demon.

“What…that’s impossible. No Grand Magus is this powerful without the sickles. What are you?” he asked.

She gave him a sinister smile.

“The most powerful person in the world…” she answered before opening a portal to hell and pushing him into it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so the ritual is done. Vera bonded with the Vade Maecum...hmmm...
> 
> Hamish POV coming up next


	6. Remembering...but not all of it...

What sucks about losing a year of your life to a memory that you know weren’t real? Is feeling that the whole year of your life is nothing but a blurry dream. That’s what it was like when Hamish got his memories back after Alyssa made them drink the potion. Apparently, she couldn’t handle being unseen by Jack and her guilt outweighs her loyalty to the Order. With that in mind, Jack forgave Alyssa but not Vera.

“What the hell, dude? Your girl did this”, Randall said to him once.

To be honest, it’s not clear about his last real memory with her. He could recall glimpses of her in campus during the last fake year of his life but before that, before his memory got wiped, it’s also kind of a blur. He can remember at the very least the day she told him the Council wanted them dead, and that she’s thinking about it. He remembered walking away from her and avoided her even at school. Was that reason why she took a year of their lives?

Anger filled him up fast. It felt like shit to be lied to like that and be betrayed by someone important for him. Yes. Vera Stone was important for him. The others don’t understand it but he doesn’t need them to. The moment he saw down that basement, trying her best to complete that potion, he was struck. She had always amazed her by her leadership skills as Chancellor but when he found out she’s also the Temple Magus of the Order, his respect for her only grew. It’s not easy joggling the responsibilities for both institutions and yet she’s doing it. The attraction was there on the first day and when she gave in, he swore to himself that he will never let her go.

That’s why it hurts to know that she’s the one responsible for the stolen year of their lives. How can she do that to him? He honestly thought that something real was going on between them and then just like that, she took everything away from him, his friends, his life, his duty as a Knight, herself.

“We need to hit them hard. We need to hurt them without them knowing about it”, Jack suggested one day.

“Are you talking about infiltrating the Order again?” Lilith asked.

“Ooooh, I like that. We’re going to be like super werewolf spies”, Randall voted yes.

Even against his better judgment, he was outvoted by them three and the next thing he knew, they’re being inducted into the Order.

Pretending not to remember Vera was the hardest of all. During the party, he could see the emptiness in her. She’s not happy. She’s finally the Grand Magus and all he could see in her was sadness and hurt. She did not even bother mingling with the others and she decided to keep herself inside her office to work.

“We do this tonight. Alyssa will take us to the vault and see if our lockers are in there”, Jack whispered.

“Are you crazy? Vera is in there. There’s no way we’re getting in her vault”, he argued.

“That’s where your amazing drink comes in”, Jack suggested.

It didn’t feel right. When he came in her office, it’s like she already knew it’s him before he even said anything. Was she trying to avoid him by isolating herself like that? He offered her the spiked drink, the one he used to make for her before it all went to shit. He caught the look of nostalgia on her face and he knew she remembered the drink. She liked it as expected and he should leave but he couldn’t so he engaged her to talk a bit more just so he could hear her voice again. He felt the struggle in her voice as she tried to stay on the Grand Magus lane and he did not fail to hear her deep sigh when he left her office. Suddenly, he felt guilty for drugging her. Wasn’t it exactly why he’s mad at her? She drugged him too, only with something stronger, but still it’s the same logic. He wanted to go back there and stopped her from finishing the glass but it’s too late.

As expected, all of their stuff from the basement were in her vault. Rage filled the Knights knowing that they weren’t just robbed of their memories but also of their things.

“We steal everything from them. We take everything”, Jack decided and no one dared to stop him, not even him.

The days after they completed emptying the vault were hell. He couldn’t even bring himself to look at Vera after what they did. They took revenge for their stolen memories but why does he felt like shit about it? He played along with Selena as she openly flirted with him inside the temple and he felt a little satisfaction seeing its effect on Vera. She’s good at masking herself in front of other people but he knows her. Hell, he’d seen her try to mask her own orgasm once so he knew her mannerisms when she’s trying to put on a stoic face. He encouraged Selena to make Vera jealous. It could be his own way of getting back at her for stealing his memories but soon, it lost its touch. Vera started ignoring him completely as she threw herself with work. She had stopped allowing him to make her drinks too.

Rogwan was something they did not see coming.

“You took the sickles too?” Alyssa exclaimed while they were in the Den.

“We took everything”, Lilith answered proudly.

She turned to Jack.

“I specifically told you not to take the sickles. The ritual is tonight and we need those sickles”, Alyssa stated.

“Isn’t this the whole plan? We dismantle the Order. Now, we’re doing it”, Jack responded smugly.

Alyssa looked like she’s about to explode.

“Take revenge on the Order, sure. Take revenge on Vera, sure. But dragging the entire humanity for it, I cannot support that. Rogwan is an emperor demon. Did you know the last time that happen when he got out? World War II! Bring back those sickles, Jack. I mean it or a lot of people are going to die and this time, it’s going to be your fault and not the Order”, she exclaimed.

The only problem is the entire inventory got stolen from them too and the sickles were lost forever. Vera faced Rogwan like everything’s fine. The demon noted her lack of fear which Hamish found odd. Everyone is afraid of something. Why doesn’t she? Not even death?

It was a stupid move to try and attack Rogwan openly but she did it and she took a hit which knocked her out completely. When he caught her in his arms, he finally realized how much she truly means to him. She was alive but the image of her unconscious like that, reminded him of the time he lost Cassie because he failed to protect her. He dared imagining what it would be like to lose Vera and the thought was unbearable. He suddenly felt so petty for wanting to get back at her. He should have known better. Vera never does things without a reason, right? The last time they talked, she said the Council wanted to kill them and she’s thinking about coming to a decision. They’re still alive which meant she chose for them to be alive. Maybe she did what she did to save them…

“Where is my inventory”, she asked.

He knew right then and there that she figured it out. Alyssa already blurted it out and they’re not a good liar.

“We lost it”, he answered.

If it’s possible for her to burst in flames, she would have. Her expression was a mix of shock, hurt, disappointment, and regret. She just confirmed his theory of the choice she made a year ago. She erased their memories to save their lives and now, she’s regretting having done it after what they did to her. They complicated everything and now, there’s a demon on the loose.

“I say we handle this on our own and let Vera get all stressed out”, Jack suggested.

It made Hamish snapped.

“Stop that already!” they turned to him. “Don’t you get it by now? She took our memories to save our asses. The Council wanted us dead. She just got appointed as Grand Magus at the time and they expected her to take action. She could have just have us killed but no. We’re still here. She took our memories instead, maybe somehow convinced the Council that we’re no longer a threat while we don’t remember anything and they let us live. She saved our lives and we robbed her blind”, he exclaimed.

“She robbed us first!” Lilith fought back.

“…and how many of her disciples we’ve killed?” that shut her up, “It was so easy for them to just destroy our hide lockers but she kept them. We’re not dead. Those lockers got no use to her without the hides”, Hamish argued.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, Jack. We had no choice. Believe me. I argued with the Grand Magus about her decision but seeing how determined the Council was to impose the law on you, it was the only way to make sure you’ll survive. It was cruel but at least, you’re here”, Alyssa supplied.

Reason started to sink in their brains no matter how hard it was to chew that information. Hamish was about to say something when they all heard the immense ringing.

“What was that? It fucking hurts!” Randall complained.

Hamish did not respond. He just started running. What if Vera decided to take on Rogwan on her own? She’s not going to make it. What if Rogwan decided to come after her? He feet took him back to the temple fast.

“Vera!” he yelled but no one answered.

The temple was empty.

“Vera!” he yelled inside her office but the room was empty too.

He tried to put his senses into motion to track her scent. It’s still fresh but she’s not in her office. Did Rogwan take her?

Suddenly, the door to her vault opened and there she was. He felt himself breathing out in relief. She’s fine. She’s safe…but his thoughts were derailed when he sensed something was different with her. Her eyes, for instance, were different. They’re cold and distant. Vera’s eyes were never cold and distant. They used to be full of fire. Her voice sent chills down his spine and when she pushed him off, she did it without a spell and yet he felt her power.

What is going on?

A part of him was telling him that she’s hiding something or rather, there’s something he couldn’t remember. He quickly rushed to Alyssa back at the Den.

“I need you to make me that memory recovery potion again”, he demanded.

The Knights came up to him.

“Did Vera powder you again?” Jack asked.

“No. There’s something I couldn’t remember and I feel it in my guts that it’s very important”, he answered.

“You already drank it. Overdosing is not good, Hamish. The potion could kill you”, Alyssa warned.

“Just trust Tundra is not going to let me die”, he responded.

Alyssa obliged his request and started making the potion. Luckily, they all had the ingredients in-stock at the Den.

“Down it in one go”, she instructed before Hamish finished the entire glass.

The wave of the potion hits his brain and he stumbled backwards and then knocked him off.

\-----------------------------------

_There’s this girl from Washington who lived in a quite well-off life with her parents…_

_They were monsters. Her foster mother made a slave out of her and her foster father…_

_The girl ended up in Belgrave University as a scholar. It must have been fate or something because it was there that she learned about the Order and she jumped on the first opportunity to get in…_

_So the girl set a goal: to obtain the most powerful object the Order has…_

_…because that girl is me…_

_I do. I got everything I wanted. I’m the Grand Magus now too, am I not?_

_I want you to know that I care, that I will always care no matter what and that’s why I am doing this_

_I’m sorry, Hamish, but there’s just no other way_

Hamish opened his eyes with a gasp. Everything came back to him. No more blurred brain areas and all.

“We need to find Vera. She got the Vade Maecum and I think she bonded with it in order to fight Rogwan. We gotta go now!” he exclaimed before running out of the house.


	7. Special Drink

The Knights stumbled upon Rogwan instead of Vera at the school grounds. They failed to stop their hides from coming out to protect the students from the demon and despite knowing that they don’t stand a chance, they continued to fight up until they heard Vera’s chilling voice. The demon disregarded them and turned his attention to Vera who faced him confidently armed with only herself and her magic. The wolves couldn’t believe how she managed to send the demon back to hell on her own. She did not even break a sweat doing it.

“She really did it, didn’t she? She bonded with the Vade Maecum”, Alyssa muttered in shock.

“…but that’s impossible. We saw the book burned”, Randall argued.

“We saw it on fire. We did not see what become of it afterwards”, Jack muttered.

Vera then extended her arms and they felt the blast of her magic spreads throughout the campus. It restored every broken corners of Belgrave and inflicted a massive Respondeo on the students. It’s like Rogwan did not happen. Things are back to the way it was in the school. She then turned to face the wolves.

“Seriously?” she magic them some clothes to cover themselves, “…can’t let students roaming around campus naked”, she stated before turning away.

“Vera, wait!” Hamish called and she stopped walking.

“I believe that’s Chancellor Stone for you, Mr. Duke”, she said.

Hamish wanted to pull her into his arms to shake her from that void she fell into but doing that would risk the others students seeing that and that would hurt her reputation as Chancellor.

“Can we talk…please?” he pleaded.

“Very well, follow me”, she agreed.

\--------------------------------------

TEMPLE

Kepler was already waiting for Vera when she got to her office. The Councilor eyed the wolves behind her but did not ask.

“How did you do it? I can’t believe you were able to banish Rogwan like that without the sickles!” she exclaimed.

“Luck and timing, I guess”, she took her seat, “Will you be leaving soon, Bitsy?” Vera asked.

Kepler was caught off-guard at how cold Vera talks to her. Even when they don’t see eye to eye for most of the time, Vera never talked to her like that, ever.

“I was hoping that this is a perfect time for a celebration. I think the disciples will love that after the whole Rogwan experience”, she answered.

Vera hummed and opened her door.

“Good idea. I trust you will do well with the preparations? You always have good taste when it comes to parties”, Vera said.

It quelled Kepler’s confusion and caused a smile to form upon her lips.

“Of course, Grand Magus. I’ll start making calls now”, she replied and hurriedly walked away.

With Kepler gone, Vera closed the door and leaned back on her chair to face the inquisitive looks of the Knights and Alyssa Drake.

“Well? Better start talking. I don’t have all day”, she urges.

“Okay, how come you were able to have the Vade Maecum Infernal?” Jack asked first.

Vera glanced over to Hamish and knew instantly that it was him who told them about it.

“I faked the potion. Creating an illusion of it getting roasted was quite fun when it’s sitting there on the altar all along”, Vera answered bluntly.

“Why? Why did you fake it? You wanted to stop Edward from bonding with it. You told me that too much ambition was not a good thing and yet, you sabotaged the potion to get hold of the grimoire”, Alyssa’s turn next.

A smirk played upon Vera’s lips.

“Coming from the girl who betrayed the Order by conniving with the wolves into stealing our inventory. At least, by keeping the book, I did not betray the Order. Grand Magus has the right to have it…but to answer your question, it’s been the plan all along. Edward had the three parts of it and I only had one so I gave him mine and let him pieced it together then just, let him fail”,

“Thanks to us…” Randall cut in.

“Yes, that’s why I gave you a consideration. The Order and myself owed you for that so instead of allowing the Adeptis to gut you all with enchanted blades, I ordered to have your memories removed but look how that turned out”, Vera responded.

“I don’t get it. Bonding with the Vade Maecum Infernal requires sacrifice of a firstborn child. You don’t have a child”, Lilith noted.

Vera smiled and magic herself a drink.

“Well, I bypassed that part with another incantation that allowed me to do magic without any sacrifice. Quite a trick and risky but I’m persistent. It all paid off in the end”, she took a sip from her glass and met Hamish’s eyes.

“Fors Factoram Incantation”, Alyssa recalled.

“Ah…bookworm. Yes, that’s the one. Stumbled upon that incantation few years back”,

“What’s Fors Factoram?” Randall asked confusingly.

“It’s an incantation that grants the practitioner the power to use magic without any sacrifice but in return, it eats away the practitioner’s health, turning him into the sacrifice”, Lilith answered.

Vera only nodded in confirmation.

“You performed Fors Factoram which allowed you to bond with the Vade Maecum without sacrifice and now, you succeeded. What’s next?” Jack asked.

Vera downed the entire glass.

“Now that I am no longer dying, I start on living and reforming this entire organization. Track down a few people. You know, the basics of being Grand Magus. As for you, well, Hamish already know what to do next. It’s for the best”, she answered.

They turned to Hamish.

“She wants us to leave before she tells the Council it was us who stole from the Order and that includes Alyssa aiding us to do it”, he explained.

Panic sets in their eyes.

“It was not Alyssa’s fault. I did not give her a choice about the vault. It was my plan”, Jack said.

“Always, the hero, Mr. Morton, but it won’t be of any use now. I took a chance on you…twice now, and you let me down each time. Take the opportunity I gave you to start running if you really want to save Ms. Drake”, she replied.

Alyssa realized that she’s about to lose everything she worked for due to her betrayal of the Order. The Knights can choose to fight but they will not stand a chance when the Council sent numbers of Adeptis their way. They won’t be able to heal to an enchanted blade.

“We should go now”, Lilith muttered.

She pulled on Randall’s arm who followed her before Jack literally yanked Alyssa away to stop her from begging Vera for another chance. That leaves Hamish alone with Vera inside her office.

“Clock is ticking, Mr. Duke”, Vera muttered.

“You bonded with the Vade Maecum earlier”, he stated.

“I thought that has been established”, she deadpanned.

Hamish walked closer to her and sat on the edge of her desk.

“You had that book for an entire year. You could have bonded with it any time you wanted and you just did it earlier. Why?” he asked.

_You don’t need to lose your humanity for the Vade Maecum. We can still do this. Me and you. I’ll be here for you…_

Vera blinked a few times.

“…because you told me one that I didn’t need to lose myself for it, that we could do it, just me and you and you would be here for me”,

Hamish felt the knife inside his chest drilling deeper.

“I listened to your voice for a year, couldn’t even open the book because you were always there in my head”, she scoffed and filled up her glass again, “All it took was for things to blow up on my face to realize that I was wasting my time. I shouldn’t have let you derailed my plans. You turned out like the rest of them…so much for allowing myself to feel something once in a while, huh…”

“I remember now. When Alyssa first had us drinking that potion, I couldn’t recall our last conversation. All I could remember was you telling me about the Council’s desire to have us killed. Anything else after that was a blur. The pack was angry for the last year and I shared that sentiment at first. I knew I took part of robbing you and I have no excuse for it. As soon as I drank that potion again and recovered the last bit of memory that I lost, I wanted to take everything that I did back. I remember now why you did what you did, what you endured all your life…and I am sorry, Vera. I am sorry for forgetting what you shared with me, for letting you down, for pushing you to do this to yourself. I wish I can take it all back”, he apologized.

Something in Vera wanted to feel a glimmer of emotion upon hearing those words. She knows at the back of her head that he means it all and she should respond with her heart but she just can’t feel anything. She’s a void. She’s empty.

“None of us can turn back time…well, that remains unproven yet, but, I have no intention to tamper with time. It’s too messy for my taste. Everything’s fine, Hamish. Rogwan is gone. Edward is gone. I got what I wanted and you got your memories back. Don’t waste the time I gave you to escape. I mean it when I say it would be the last time I will help you”, she replied.

She keeps sounding so business-like and Hamish can see her willing herself to feel something, to respond with something more than icy tone but it’s her default now. The Vade Maecum took away her emotions, her empathy, her fire.

“Tell me what I can do to make it up to you. Anything, just name it”, he offered desperately.

“I don’t think there’s anything you can give me that I cannot get myself”, she opened both her palms and her eyes literally glowed. “I would appreciate you stopping in causing troubles though but that’s just about it”,

She tasted her drink again and groaned before getting up.

“…even with magic, I still can’t get the exact same taste of that drink you used to make me. Isn’t that funny?” she stated before trying to get past him.

Hamish stood up, towering over her and blocking her path successfully.

“Let me make you that drink”, he offered.

“…and let you drug me again?” she asked.

That hurt…a lot.

“You can check it if I put any drugs into it. Allow me to make you a drink. Watching you with those bland drinks you’ve been drinking is making my head hurts”, he answered with a hopeful smirk she recognized.

For some reason, she feels herself smiling too. _Wait_ …did she just feel something right there? Hamish noticed it too as confusion sets in her eyes. It’s the first time he saw something else other than coldness in those blue eyes of hers.

“Lead the way then”, she agreed and they went into the bar.

Vera watched Hamish perfected the drink she loves and handed it to her carefully. She puts the glass onto her lips and tasted it and yes, her magic drinks don’t compare to the one he makes.

“You did not check it for any drugs”,

“Something tells me you won’t cross that line again”, she muttered.

Hamish walked around the bar and stood in front of Vera. He gently took the glass from her hand and ran his fingers on her cheek.

“I won’t”, he confirmed and pressed his lips onto hers.

It’s like a fireplace that has been unlit for years being set on fire again. Vera found herself whimpering on his touch.

“Let’s go home…now”, she whispered, without waiting for his response, she teleported them straight to her bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they say love is the strongest magic of them all, right? It's going to be a game of tug of war...


	8. Never Again

VERA’S HOUSE

Every touch of him to her body sent pleasurable heat on her skin. Unlike the fire of bonding with the Vade Maecum, this one she prefers. Being nothing but an empty vessel left her yearning to touch even the slightest hint of emotions. She could care less whatever emotion would that be as long as she would feel something. When Hamish kissed her at the bar inside the temple, she felt something stirred inside her chest. It’s so intoxicating like how magic makes her feel that she craves for more.

“More”, she whispered her thoughts out loud and he willingly obliged her request.

He pushed her onto the bed and ripped her dress without any regards to her clothing. She lost care of that too. He kissed, licked, lapped, bit every inch of her until he went down where she wants him. She’s literally being flooded with emotions that she lost few hours ago and he is bringing it all back to her.

“Don’t hold back. Let me see you come”, he muttered as he plunged in three fingers into her that made her gasped.

She did not hold back. Her moans echoed throughout the room as he pumped her with his skilled fingers. She gripped the bedsheet, trying to keep it together but when he curled his digits and hit the right spot, she cried his name, pulled him towards her and sunk her teeth onto his shoulder. That action made him growl as it tapped into his primal side.

“Ah fuck…” he cursed as he removed his fingers inside her and freed his member.

He did not ask how she wanted it. He thrusted into her and buried himself to the hilt that made her eyes rolled at the back of her head. She has not even come down yet from her orgasm and he’s already fucking her into oblivion.

“Please, don’t stop”, she blurted out which stunned Hamish.

One thing about having sex with Vera Stone is that she never begged. It just never happens and she just said please.

“Tell me”, he urges.

He’s unsure what her please means. He’s unsure about everything else anymore except for his determination to pull her back from the void that the Vade Maecum dragged her into.

“I am afraid that if you stop, I’ll stop feeling anything else too”, she confessed.

Alyssa and Lilith had filled him in about the effects of bonding with the Vade Maecum after they defeated Edward Coventry. It’s a myth that anyone who bonds with it loses he’s humanity which is catastrophic for the world no matter the person’s intention is. It was never proven since no one has succeeded in bonding with the grimoire until Vera.

He knew she had lost a big part of herself the moment she came out of her vault and looked into his eyes. He should have felt scared after that and his logical brain was telling him what it would cost the world now that Vera had lost her humanity but after seeing her defeat Rogwan and bothered to fix Belgrave, do Respondeo to everyone and give them clothes to cover themselves, he doubted the part of her losing her humanity. They had betrayed the Order and Vera had them all in her office earlier and yet, she allowed them the time to pack and run away. If she had truly lost it, she would have killed them right then and there without a second thought.

“I won’t let you. Your heart was not meant to feel nothing, Vera. Whenever you feel yourself slipping away again, I will be right here to pull you back”, he said.

Her eyes watered.

“You said that to me once and you drugged and robbed me afterwards”, she reminded him.

“Well, my memory was not working properly at the time but it does now. Give me another chance to prove it to you. Don’t make me go away. I don’t think I can leave you, especially like this. Let me stay”, he replied.

It’s a risk. Trust is a fragile thing for Vera ever since she was a child. She learned very early on that once it’s broken, it will never be the same and the risk of the Knights betraying her again is too great but having Hamish now close to her in every way possible, she clings to him like a lifeline. Maybe giving him another chance is worth it than feeling nothing at all. Anything is worth it than being completely empty.

“You can stay just promise me you’ll keep your word this time. I don’t think I can take betrayal for a third time”, she agreed.

He suddenly recalled what she told him right before she powdered him last year. She told him about her childhood and he realized what they did had cost her. She’s having a hard time trusting anyone already and they made it worse. She took a chance on them and saved their lives from certain death and they betrayed her in return. That betrayal drove her into giving in to her desire to bond with the evil book to stop the demon that got loose because of them. His hold on her body suddenly tightened as guilt overwhelmed him. Never again. He will never hurt her like that again. As long as he lives, he will never let anyone hurt her again.

“I promise. I promise”, he muttered and resumed giving his all to her.

This time, the movements are slow but powerful and the effect on their bodies are exquisite. This is not just simple fucking or finding release. This is making love and he wants her to feel everything, all the love he has to give and he hopes it will be enough to keep her grounded, to keep her with him.

“I’m close…” she whispered and he put his hand between them, encouraging her to seek that wonderful wave of orgasm she deserves.

“I love you, Vera”,

That tipped her over the edge and she digs her nails onto his skin as she rides her orgasm. Hamish quickly followed after she utters his name repeatedly like a prayer. He fell onto her as they both catch their breaths.

“Did you just tell me that you love me?” she asked.

He pushed himself up to look into her eyes. They remained focused, hazy from pleasure, but present and warm.

“I did and I mean it”, he answered confidently.

Hiding his emotions is not his forte. He can say that he has better control of it but not around Vera.

“I can’t say it back, at least not for now, but I don’t want to lose you. That much I know for sure. Is that okay?” she asked.

He smiled at her.

“I’ll take anything you’ll give me as long as you’re not going to send me away or make me forget again”, he answered.

Powdering Hamish had been the hardest thing she has ever done and she has no intention in doing it again.

“I won’t”, she replied.

\-----------------------------------

Hamish woke up alone on her bed. Panic instantly shoots right through him when he couldn’t see Vera.

“Vera?” he called.

“Closet”, she answered and that made him relaxed.

He walked to her closet room and found her browsing dresses. She stared at him through her mirror and arched a brow. She’s definitely in touch with herself again.

“See something you like?” he teased.

He’s standing proudly naked inside her closet and the look on her face is making him hard again.

“Yes, I do like it very much…too much, but the party at the temple will be starting soon and we need to get ready. If we don’t attend, Bitsy is going to be suspicious and we can’t have the Council poking their noses into Belgrave”, she answered.

That would explain her focus on selecting her outfit for the night. Hamish walked in and grabbed her red one. It’s a one shoulder dress with full-length sleeve. It’s quite long but the slit on the left side is high enough to expose her left thigh.

“You’ll look stunning in this one”, he said.

Vera eyed the dress and he saw her swallowed. The dress is quite revealing for an event at the temple. Rather than backing down, she took it as a challenge.

“Perfect. I’ll wear this instead”, she then waved her hand and produced a suit for Hamish, “…and you can wear that one. It matches my dress”, she replied.

He smiled at the thought that she specifically conjured him a suit that will complement her dress.

“Yes, Grand Magus”, he muttered and put it on.

\------------------------------------

TEMPLE

The place is packed. Defeating Rogwan is truly been celebrated as the Council decided to attend the party. Some important members of the Order made an appearance too. Upon Vera’s instruction, the Knights are all present at the temple as well and Hamish decided to station behind the bar so the others will not mess up the stemware.

Hamish felt himself growling lowly when one of the Council member went beside Vera and put a hand on waist. The guy leaned too close for his taste and whispered something in her ear that made her laughed.

“Easy there, lover boy. You’re this close to transforming and ripping that guy’s head off”, Lilith said and he stopped staring at them.

“Sorry”, he apologized.

“Don’t be. I get it. She looked the same when we’re still pretending to be amnesic and Selena wouldn’t stop flirting with you”, he can sympathize now. It must have hard for Vera during those times, “Is she going to be okay though? We appreciate her covering our asses again but she’s still bonded with the book, right?” she then asked.

“She will be. She doesn’t like being emotionless either and she clings to feeling something hard more than ever”, he poured his friend a drink, “Lil, she had that book for a year and she did not bond with it even though she could have any time. She may have tricked us into believing that the book was destroyed so she can have it but she’s no Coventry. I know she does not seek power like he did. The only reason she bonded with it now is because we stole and lost the weapon she needed to banish Rogwan. We left her no choice. That’s a big reason enough to have faith in her”, he answered.

Lilith smiled.

“I do believe Vera Stone is one stubborn bitch…never doubted for one second. If you need anything, you know you can count on us”, she said.

“I know. Thanks”, he replied and saw Jack and Randall listening in.

The two nodded telling him that they shared the same thing Lilith told him. They know the sacrifice Vera did for them last year and now to clean up their mess. They learned their lessons and they’re determined to show their gratitude to her.

Call it gut feeling but something alerted Hamish that made her glance towards Vera across the room. She’s still in the same circle with that guy still talking to her but something is off. She’s no longer laughing or smiling at them. She’s passive and cold. Her eyes studied them like she’s analyzing every single DNA in their bodies and he just knew that she’s slipping away again.

“One sec”, he said and quickly made her favorite drink.

Hamish hurried to get to her and then put on his best disciple face as he approached the group.

“Sorry to interrupt. Grand Magus, here’s the drink you asked for”, he cut in and handed her the glass, purposely touching her hand with his.

The brief contact was enough to snap her out of her cold trance and she gave him an appreciative look.

“Thank you, Acolyte”, she replied.

“Your very own bartender, I must say, Vera, I am incredibly jealous of Belgrave. I wish my own chapter got someone good with drinks”, the guy beside her expressed.

She did not break eye contact with Hamish.

“Well, I’m very lucky to have found Mr. Duke…incredibly lucky”, she said and only the two of them know that she’s not talking about his bartending skills.


	9. Never Have I Ever

Throughout the entire party, Vera struggled to get ahold of herself. She feels herself drifting here and there as she dove into the politics side of her job as Grand Magus and Chancellor. It’s getting hard to stay in touch with her emotions, the more they talk about finding her lost inventory. Whoever stole it from the Knights is someone to be reckoned with or at least bold enough to go as far as robbing the wolves. That person also knows who they are and possibly had been watching them for some time, just waiting to strike at the right moment.

Thankfully, Hamish kept close by the entire evening after he noticed her slipping away. Whenever she felt like she’s drifting, she would just search for his eyes and he would immediately pull her back and before she knew it, the party has come to an end. The disciples and the Council left the temple. The Knights had also said their goodbyes leaving her and Hamish alone.

“Are you ready to go home?” he asked.

“Aren’t you going to go back to the Den?” she asked him back.

Hamish raised an eyebrow at her.

“Would you like me to go back to the Den?” he answered her with another question as he slowly backed her against the wall.

His fingers toyed with her skin being exposed by her dress’ high slit. She felt his hardness when their bodies pressed against each other and that made her hummed in approval.

“This dress has been driving me crazy all night. You look so hot, everyone was practically drooling at the sight of you”, he expressed.

Her eyes trained only onto his lips.

“I doubt that”, she muttered.

“Oh, trust me. You tempted a lot of people tonight. That council guy next to you earlier wouldn’t stop touching you. If it was not for Lilith, I would have jumped on him already and ripped his heart out”,

That earned him a smirk. _She knew._ Of course, she did. That’s why she’s not swatting the guy’s away from her. She’s doing it on purpose.

“…you’re such a tease”, he growled and put his thigh between her legs.

The slit of her dress allowed his thigh to go straight to her underwear and he felt her respond immediately.

“I almost lost it earlier”, she remembered.

Her breathing is getting rapid as she grinds against his thigh.

“…but you did not. I told you, I will not let you slip away”, he replied.

He pressed his thigh harder against her center and she moaned. When she heard her own voice echoed throughout the temple, it snapped her out and realized they shouldn’t be doing this in the open like that. The risk of getting caught is too great and even they don’t know Hamish to be a werewolf, she’s still the Grand Magus and being caught like that inside the temple is highly unprofessional.

“Let’s go home”, she whispered.

\------------------------------------

Days that followed have been peaceful. Hamish sticks with his word and never let Vera slipped away. The times he had to pull her back had decreased too and it’s a progress. Maybe bonding with the Vade Maecum is different with Vera. She did not sacrifice any child of hers after all. Maybe that’s what takes the humanity of the practitioners who attempted to bond with the grimoire. Though the power of the book threatens to pull her under the void, she still has an anchor to hold on and fight the tempting darkness of unlimited power.

It’s the middle of the afternoon when the Knights suddenly raided her office. She glanced over to them with a frown while Alyssa quietly closed the door of her office. Hamish just sighed on her right which means the wolves are up to no good again.

“Okay, what is it you’ve done this time?” she asked.

Randall gasped and faked a hurt look.

“Why do you assume we’ve done something bad again?”

She shrugged, emphasizing everything else they’ve done wrong since they met.

“Okay, but this time it’s not something bad”, Randall said.

“Just get to the point”, Vera snapped.

“Fine. We’re having a party later at Hamish’s apartment and we’re inviting you to join us”, the boy revealed.

Vera glanced over at Hamish. The invitation is a surprise in of itself but the fact that Hamish has an apartment? She thought he had always lived at the Den with the others.

“I told them you’re not going to like the idea”, he explained in his defense.

“Come on, it’s just a simple party…just us. No politics. No magic. We just want to spend time with you”, Jack added.

When was the last time she was actually invited on something that’s not meant for work? Invitation coming from a bunch of kids who can transform into massive werewolves may not be as bad as it sounds.

“Fine. No pictures and if this gets out to other students, I’m going to make you clean the entire temple”, she agreed and the wolves cheered.

Their loud voices made her head hurt and she squinted.

“Okay, now all of you out!” Hamish shooed them away to spare Vera from further discomfort.

He knows she’s been working hard all day long and honestly, he prefers for them to just relax at her house but inviting her over gives her the opportunity to know the pack better and for his friends to get to know Vera not just as Grand Magus but as a person.

She couldn’t help herself from smiling while watching Hamish wrestle with a very hyper Randall. The boy kept bothering him about pizza and beer while Hamish is determined to get them out of her office. Once he successfully closed the door, he turned to a very amused Vera.

“You found that funny, huh”,

“I did, actually”, she affirmed.

Hamish walked towards her and sat by her desk.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay coming tonight? The pack party quite different from the Order”, he asked.

“Mr. Morton has a point earlier. I do want to get to know your friends and it’s been a while since anyone wants to have me in their circle just because they want to”, she answered.

There’s a hint of sadness in her voice while saying that.

“Well, once the pack includes you in the group, you’re never getting out”, he said.

She chuckled at that.

“Sounds exhausting”, she teased.

“Oh, very…” he teased back.

\-----------------------------------

HAMISH’S APARTMENT

Vera and Hamish can already hear the Knights partying inside the unit from the hallway. She rolled her eyes around as he chuckled before he opened the door.

“Vermish!” Randall yelled.

Hamish saw the frown slowly forming on Vera’s face and he couldn’t help but cringe. He should’ve warned Vera that Randall likes to make nicknames.

“Don’t tell me you’re drunk already”, she muttered.

“Oh no…we’re just getting started”, Lilith said handing her a bottle of beer.

Alyssa then turned up the volume and started dancing with Jack.

“Well, she’s definitely drunk”, Hamish pointed out.

“She’s not much of a drinker so…that’s nothing new”, Lilith explained.

Vera smiled a little before finding a perfect spot to sit and started drinking. The pizza looks very appetizing. She felt Hamish settled next to her and put his arm around her. She felt comfortable enough that she leaned against him and continued drinking.

“We need to play a game!” Randall declared.

Both Vera and Hamish groaned at the idea.

“I know what…never have I ever”, Jack pitched in.

“Perfect”, Alyssa slurred.

They formed a circle to start the game.

“Let me see your beers”, they all raised their bottles, “I’ll start. Never have I ever kissed a woman before”, Lilith started.

The boys groaned and started drinking which made Alyssa laughed and then, everyone’s jaw almost hit the ground when Vera took a sip from her bottle. It was followed by their inquisitive looks pointed towards her.

“What? Kissing a woman is not exclusive with the boys only”, Vera expressed.

“Alright, my turn. Never have I ever woke up somewhere without any clothes and without recollection”, Alyssa said.

“Oh, really?” Randall exclaimed.

“That makes all of us already!” Lilith seconded.

That made the blonde laughed some more.

Once again…Vera was to drink last and it’s leaving them dumbfounded.

“Okay, how that came about because I’m pretty sure you’re no wolf”, Lilith asked her.

“Let’s just say that you’re not the only one who had experienced in partying hard and ending up too hammered”, Vera answered.

They imagined a young Vera partying and hooking up with strangers and suddenly, she’s becoming more and more human in their eyes.

“My turn. Never have I ever worn a Halloween costume made by my mother”, Randall said with a proud smile.

Everyone took a drink except for Vera who remained frozen.

“Really? Your mom did not make you a Halloween costume? I envy you”, Lilith expressed.

“Try wearing a costume made by Pete. That’s much more excruciating”, Jack put in.

Vera remained still. Her eyes grew distant in a flash and she turned passive. Lilith was about to apologize at the thought of offending Vera about the Halloween costume when Hamish covered her hand with his before leaning toward her ear.

“Come back”, he whispered but they heard it.

Slowly, they saw the fire returned in Vera’s eyes as she blinked few times and glanced over to Hamish.

“I’m okay”, she whispered back and faced the others, “No, my mother never made costumes. We used to take vacation during Halloween time. After they were killed, I bounced around to different foster families but never lasted long enough to reach Halloween. When I got settled into a family that did not return me to the orphanage, my foster mother had me working in and around the house so no Halloween for me. There goes the backstory”, she shared.

Hamish tightened his hold on her as he remembered the time she told him about her past. He particularly recalled the part where her foster father abused her. He felt himself getting filled with overwhelming rage.

“If you don’t mind me asking, who killed your parents?” Jack asked.

Vera took another sip on her bottle.

“The Order”, she simply said.

“The Order and you still joined the Order?” Randall asked.

“Well…sometimes in order to destroy your enemy, you must blend in and hit them from within, isn’t that right, Mr. Morton? That’s before I grew to care and decided to just replace the management completely”, she answered.

“Ever thought about finding the guy who did it though?” Lilith followed up.

The way the girl asked tells her that if she had asked her, she’ll find that guy for her and kill him.

Hamish felt a wave of her magic radiating off of her and he knew that the topic is making her angry.

“Believe me, that’s the plan from the start”, she answered.


	10. Surprise?

As the night grows deeper, the more Vera loosened up. She started cracking jokes which surprised the wolves. Who knew Vera Stone can actually tell jokes that are funny? It turns out that there’s a lot that they don’t know about her and she just keeps unfolding like a flower. Hamish was glad that Vera’s mood lightened up after the whole Halloween costume question earlier that almost pulled her back into passiveness. He knows she tries her best to continue living her life despite the horrible things that had happened to her in the past. She may entered the Order with an agenda to destroy everything but her heart proved to be greater than her hate and anger. Instead of destroying the Order, she decided to take over and make a change. She had done it on campus by making it more accessible to everyone, not just the rich.

Still, Hamish couldn’t help but fear what Vera would do given the chance she finds out who killed her parents, who had them killed. Vera may have defeated enemies before but she’s no murderer. She does not take someone’s life due to vengeance. She does it to protect, to save the world from danger like Edward Coventry and Rogwan. He, however, has his fair share of bloodshed throughout the years. He and Tundra are no strangers to slaughter and when push comes to shove, they will gladly take over for her. His hide already confirmed his desire to rip apart whoever is responsible in murdering Vera’s parents that caused her childhood to be ruined. He shares his hide’s sentiment. He can kill whoever that is with his bare hands if he’s being honest.

Vera watched the kids danced around the apartment until the music slows down. They all partnered up as it’s been made clear to Vera that Lilith and Randall are also a thing like Jack and Alyssa.

“Stop being so cute”, she slurred and waved her hand up in the air.

Golden specs of light came out of her hand and swirled around the room. The two couples watched in amazement as the specs of light turned off the bright lights and the ceiling began to imitate the stars outside the window. The specs continued to swirl around the room until they circled Vera and it made her glowing like a fairy.

“That’s awesome”, Randall mouthed.

Vera then turned to Hamish and extended her hand.

“Now, we can finally dance”, she said.

Her boldness caught him off-guard. They’ve all been learning new things about Vera Stone tonight. Alcohol strips her off her brick walls and lets herself be normal and free. She expresses herself unrestrained and lets everyone know what she wants which is something the usual sober Vera wouldn’t allow herself to be.

“I should be the one asking you to dance”, he muttered as he took her hand.

“Yeah, but you’re too slow so I beat you to it”, she explained and they both laughed.

Jack watched as the two swayed under the magic stars above them and it puts a smile onto his face how comfortable the two are with each other. Hamish has no problem dealing with his emotions but being the leader of the Knights, he often suppresses his feelings or set aside his wishes for their sakes like how he was against the plan of drugging and robbing Vera but because the pack decided it, he put his own feelings on hold which almost cost him everything. With Vera, Hamish let go of that chain around his neck that ties him up to responsibilities. It’s refreshing way to look at them both that way. For two people who spent their lives thinking of others, they do deserve a moment like this where they can just be themselves and live.

“Promise me you will not try and find him”, he muttered as they continue to dance.

He felt her stiffened in his arms but she did not pull away.

“That’s a tall order to ask of me, Hamish”, she said.

“I know but I am asking anyway. I am certain that I cannot stop you from searching but what I am asking is that when you discover his identity and his whereabout, you’ll tell me”, he replied.

She looked at his eyes.

“…and what will you do with the information?” she asked.

“Leave it to me”, she was about to shake her head but he pulled her closer, “I cannot let you get your hands dirty. He’s not worth it. I will not let you get stained with his filthy blood. You don’t deserve that after everything. Promise me that you’ll let me take care of it for you”, he answered.

She can see it in his eyes and that he meant every word of it. She wants it so badly to watch whoever that is bleed to death, to gasp for air the way her parents did that night and she wants to be the one to do it but she also knows that once she goes through with that, everything will never be the same. She’s never even use a murder spell before to someone. She can understand why Hamish is stopping her from doing it. Can she pass the burden of that quest for justice to him?

“I don’t want to put you at risk”, she said.

“Trust me…please”, he pleaded.

Vera found herself nodding at his request.

“Alright…I promise”, she muttered and buried her head onto his chest.

Of course, the rest of the wolves heard that conversation and even Hamish wouldn’t ask them, they will find that bastard themselves and tear him to pieces for the pain he caused Vera.

When the night came to an end, Hamish had asked everyone to use the other units on the floor as Lilith and Alyssa magically cleaned up his apartment.

“I don’t understand. How many units do you have in this building?” Vera asked with a frown.

The pack stopped and glanced over to Hamish before leaving the apartment.

“Well…uh, all of it?” she frowned deeper, “I own the building”, he finally said.

“Now that explains why those kids weren’t afraid about the noise complaints!” she expressed.

That made Hamish chuckled.

“You know they’re not kids, right?” he asked.

“Oh, they are. Their bodies may have grown but their brains surely did not”, she answered.

He launched at her and picked her up from the floor bridal style.

“What in the world are you doing, Hamish Duke?! Put me down!” she yelled.

“I’m only putting you down on the bed, Vera Stone”, he replied and tossed her onto the bed.

She yelped as she landed onto the soft mattress and when she laid her eyes on him, he’s already undressing. The moonlight outside reflecting on his body just sobered her up completely and all coherent thoughts vanished from her brain. He’s just so damn sexy.

“Oh my god…you’re making my heart beat faster”, she admitted and it earned her a growl from him.

He undressed her fast and took his time with his hands exploring her body. He then cupped her ass, pulled her waist up to meet his mouth and he eats her with that angle. That surprised Vera and she failed to act properly. She must have mumbled something because he growled while eating her and it sent vibrations through her that made her eyes roll at the back of her head. He fucked her with his tongue and she can feel herself being lead to the inevitable. She’s not even aware that it’s possible for her to come in that angle.

“Shit, Hamish! I’m going to come”, she warned but he did not slow down and continued his pace and she tipped over the edge. “Fuck!” she cursed as the powerful orgasm hits her.

Hamish coaxed her into riding it on his mouth as he drinks every single drop of her, not wanting to waste anything she’ll give him. Once she went limp, he puts her down and started going slow on her so she’ll have time to recover. When she’s back to reality, her first reaction is to push Hamish to the bed and straddled his lap. He lets her. The view is promising anyway. She’s practically glowing after having a climax like that. Her hand stroked him a few times before sinking down on him.

“Oh yes…” he groaned when he felt her warm walls clenching and unclenching around him.

He loves making her come before he enters her. The feeling alone is sending him to the clouds and watching her fall apart is the best aphrodisiac for him. She began rocking and grinding on him and he couldn’t ask for more. He felt her tightening around him and he just knew she’s close again. He pushed himself up so he’s sitting. His arms wrapped around her, pulling her close as he thrusts upwards to meet her. It buried him even deeper and now, they’re both moaning. The friction on her clit is adding to her sensation and when she felt his breath and tongue on her neck, she came again.

“Hamish”, that came out breathy and he couldn’t help himself but follow her.

After cleaning up, they lay side by side on the bed, wrapped with nothing but each other’s arms.

“Have you ever thought about having children?” he asked.

He didn’t know where that thought came from but it just popped into his head and he asked.

“Not really…why?” she answered then asked him back.

He shrugged.

“Nothing really…I guess I just sees you with the students and you’re good with them. You’re even good with the pack you know. You got long set of patience”, he answered.

She sighed and hugged him tighter.

“I thought about it before when I was younger but when I learned of the Order it became at the last of my list. I have a goal to achieve. Then, Fors Factoram happened. The idea of having children is not really encouraged for someone who’s about to die soon”, she muttered.

He pulled away a little to look at her face.

“Are you still dying from that incantation?” he asked in concern and fear.

“No. Bonding with the Vade Maecum had cured me that”, she answered.

He felt himself relax.

“Good”, he muttered.

“…to answer your question with a perspective coming from the present, I am not close to the idea now that things could be changing but I’m in no rush”, she added.

That made him smile.

“…me too, and there’s no need to be”, he replied.

\---------------------------------

BELGRAVE UNIVERSITY

The Knights saw Vera walking along the hallway with some of the board members and they couldn’t help but smile at the thought that they’ve seen the real her last night. They played games with the real her, got drunk with the real her. It’s so much easier to look at her with her cold façade with that knowledge in their heads that there’s a person behind the mask she wears every day.

“Seriously guys, stop staring at Vera”, Hamish scolded when he caught them.

“Sorry, we just can’t believe that she got drunk with us last night”, Randall expressed.

“Do you remember what she said yesterday?”

“No pictures and don’t tell anyone about it. Got it”, Randall recalled and kept his mouth shut.

“Good”, Hamish replied.

They were about to start walking away when their sense of hearing caught up something.

“Chancellor Stone, there’s someone wanting to speak with you”, a faculty staff said.

They saw a man probably in his early sixties approached Vera. They also saw the way Vera’s eyes widened in shock and her feet involuntarily took a few step back before they came to a halt. They can literally hear her heart beating rapidly.

“Hi, Vee…it’s been a long time, eh?” the man greeted.

“You…what are you doing here? How did you know where to find me?” she asked. Fear resounding in her voice.

“I thought I taught you much better than that. Is that how you greet your father now, sweetheart?” the man replied.

Before anyone can stop Hamish, he’s already walking towards them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i did not expect anyone to like the last chapter but since you guys did, I decided to start this chapter with a continuation before I drop the bomb so... (peace)


	11. Room 16

She did not see Hamish get in between her and her foster father but the next thing she knew, he’s ushering her out of the campus and straight to his car.

“Vera?”

How did he find her? It’s been god knows how long and he did not bother contacting her which she’s extremely grateful but now, he’s here. He’s in her school, in her territory. For someone as powerful as her, just his presence alone sent her frozen on the spot, unable to defend herself, to show him she’d done well in life.

“Vera?”

What does he want? Why now? What is she supposed to do? Her past and present is not meant to meet. She’s doing her best to move on, to keep her promise to Hamish.

“Vera!” Hamish’s voice snapped her out of her trance.

She blinked a few times and realized that they’re no longer in Belgrave. He had taken her in front of her house.

“What happened?” she asked.

He sighed and held her shaking hands.

“You seemed to zone out earlier. I got you out and took you here. Let’s get inside”, he answered.

She did not protest as he sat her on the sofa and proceeded to the kitchen. She smelled a fresh brewed coffee first before she him handing her a cup.

“Thank you”, she said and took a sip never mind of the hot liquid burning her tongue and throat.

For the first time since they entered her house, she allowed herself to meet his eyes and she can see fury in them. She noticed how he’s clenching his jaw to hold himself back.

“Hamish”,

“So, that’s him?” he asked.

He heard. He heard his foster father introduced himself.

“Yes”, she nodded, “Garrett Wilkins, that’s his name. I honestly thought I’ll never see him again”, she answered in defeat.

Her eyes dropped to the floor. After all these years, that man still holds so much power over her, the fear and terror he had instilled in her brain remains. She felt his hand under her chin, lifting her face to see her again.

“I will not let him go anywhere near you. I promise”, he said.

“What will you do?” she asked.

In her brain, she has no doubt that he will kill Garrett without a second thought but she cannot do that to him. It’s one thing to kill people in the name of the duty he sworn to but to kill people out of anger and avenging her honor, what would that do to him?

“What would you like me to do?” he asked her back.

If she said so, he will sprint out of the house and tear that man limb to limb in a second.

“Stay here with me”, she answered.

He makes her feel safe. It’s all she needs for now.

“Always”, he replied.

\------------------------------------

They must have dozed off because the next thing they heard was the pack raiding Vera’s fridge.

“What on earth are you doing in my kitchen?” Vera exclaimed as soon as she saw them eating her ice cream.

Randall quickly wiped his mouth and flashed a smile on her.

“We did not want to wake you and we’re really hungry. Jack said we’ll replenish your fridge later. Please don’t make us clean the whole temple”, he explained.

She sighed and just waved her hand in surrender. She does not really eat that much anyway so it’s better to have the wolves eat her food than let it go to waste.

“Oh, you’re up. Jack is at the back talking with your dad. He’s cool”, Lilith said when she entered the kitchen.

Vera froze.

“What are you talking about?” Hamish asked for her.

“We met her dad on campus earlier. He’s looking for you. He said you left with your boyfriend and we figured you guys are here so we took your dad here to see you but when we got here you guys are sleeping so we decided to let you rest for a while”, she answered.

They all heard the low growl in his throat and it alarmed Randall and Lilith.

“Hamish—”, Vera wasn’t done yet when he’s already on his feet.

The three followed and saw Jack sitting at the patio at the back with Garrett laughing with each other. Hamish opened the sliding door and paused to take control of himself.

“Please leave”, he said.

Jack stared at him with a frown.

“Whoa…Hamish, this is Vera’s dad. It’s okay”, Jack tried to pacify him but he just didn’t know anything.

“I will not repeat myself”, Hamish insisted.

Garrett stood up and faced Hamish.

“I came here to talk to my daughter. That’s all. Mind your own business, boy”, he said.

“Oh, you’re not getting anywhere near her, not after everything you did to her. Now, get out or I will throw you out of this house myself”, Hamish threatened.

Now, everyone is confused except Vera, Hamish, and Garrett. The old man found Vera behind Hamish.

“You’re seriously dating this guy? You hadn’t had enough of those jerks back home? For someone as accomplished as you, your brain seemed to have gotten stuck in the gutter”, he said.

“Whoa…hold it right there for second, dude!” Randall cut in.

“Get out”, she whispered.

Her voice is shaky enough to let the others know that whatever it is that’s going on, it must have been massive to elicit fear in the Grand Magus.

“Are you going to let your boyfriend here throw me out then?” Garrett challenged her.

“I’m afraid it’s not really up to me anymore so for your sake, get the hell out of my house”, she answered.

Now, the entire pack is glaring at Garrett. The old man scoffed and pushed his way past Hamish. Randall and Lilith were quick to put Vera behind them as the man walked towards the door while shaking his head. When he’s gone, Vera felt herself breathing again.

“What are you thinking?!” Hamish snapped at the wolves.

“Sorry, we did not know she does not want to see her foster father. We thought he’s nice”, Jack apologized.

It was not enough for a very angry Hamish.

“It does not matter! This is Vera’s house, not yours. You can’t just let anyone be in here without letting her know!” he exclaimed.

The Knights continued to argue with each other and they did not realize as Vera slowly walk away from them and entered her bathroom. She locked the door quietly and put a silencing incantation inside to prevent herself from hearing them outside. Her hands are still shaking and chest is tightening to the point it’s getting difficult to breathe. She’s better than this. She shouldn’t be scared at that man but she is. The most powerful person in the world is frightened by one old mortal man. Of course, she knows there is a way for her to stop feeling the paralyzing fear she’s feeling inside but she couldn’t afford to go to that void and risk losing herself again. That would be ruining what she worked for in her life.

Her stomach turned and she rushed to the toilet bowl and poured her stomach’s content into it. Her vision blurred as she became light-headed. She flushed the toilet bowl and made it through washing her mouth at the sink before she gripped it to stabilize herself. The room is spinning around her and she knows she should call Hamish by now to help her but she’s too out of it to even remove her spell inside the bathroom.

“Hamish…” she muttered before everything went dark.

\-----------------------------------

They’ve been too caught up arguing with each other when Hamish noticed that Vera is no longer behind him.

“Vera?” he looked around and he couldn’t see her.

He tried to listen throughout the house for any noise from her but even with his super hearing, he couldn’t hear anything.

“Where the hell is she?!” he yelled in panic.

“She was just right here”, Randall said.

Hamish started running upstairs and going through each room until he came back and tried every door until he got to the bathroom and realized the door is locked. He put his head on it to listen closely but he couldn’t hear anything.

“I don’t hear anything”, Jack muttered.

“She casted a silencing spell”, Hamish figured out.

He took a step back and kicked the door down.

Vera’s still form on the floor greeted him and his reflexes kicked in and went to her side to check her pulse.

“Is she okay?” Randall asked.

Hamish noticed the toilet seat’s cover was up and the splashed water on the tiles.

“She passed out. I’m taking her to her room”, he answered and carried Vera in his arms upstairs.

He gently set her on the bed, removed her shoes and put on the blanket on top of her. Once she’s fully settled on the bed, he casted a healing incantation on her just to make she’ll be okay. His desire to go out there and chase that bastard is growing but he cannot leave Vera alone, especially right now.

“I love you, Vera, so much”, he muttered and placed a kiss on her forehead.

\-------------------------------------

When Vera opened her eyes again, it’s already dark in her bedroom. Hamish has fallen asleep next to her. She should wake him up but the urge to do so is lost to her. She quietly got out of the bed and grabbed her shoes on the way out. The wolves had left her house already. Vera tiptoed to her kitchen and poured herself a glass of bourbon and finished it with one go.

She caught her reflection on the mirror and that put a frown on her face.

“You let yourself be seen by that man looking like that?” she breathed out before she waved her hands and it fixed her appearance.

A pleased smirk formed on her lips before she puts on her shoes. Her magic is literally swirling around her as she heads towards the door. Hamish’s car was parked outside because he drove her home earlier but she needs no car to get to where she wants to go. It only took a flick of her fingers and she found herself in front of the motel.

“Can I help you, miss?” the front desk asked.

She flashed a fake smile on her.

“I’m here to see my father. Garrett Wilkins”, she answered in a cold voice.

“Oh, Room 16”, the girl said and she walked there in her heels.

She carefully knocked on the door and Garrett opened up for her. A curious smile appeared on his face.

“Well, well, I knew you had not lost your way. Come on in”, he said and she went inside the room.

The room is simply plain and distasteful for Vera. He saw how her eyes scrutinized every single piece inside the room.

“Do you want something to drink?” he offered.

“I had one before coming here. Why don’t you just tell me what you want so we can done here?” she declined.

Garrett chuckled.

“Alright…your mother is sick. The farm is not doing very well and the hospital bill is through the roof. We never asked you for anything but I am going to ask for her this time. Surely, it wouldn’t cost you much with your job and all”, he said.

Vera turned to face him and felt a little shiver with the way she looks at him.

“You did not ask me for anything because you’ve taken everything from me already. Do you remember those nights where you would come inside my bedroom? You would cover my mouth so your wife wouldn’t hear what you were doing. Do you remember? I remember every single moment of those times. I don’t want to but it seems I have no choice on the matter. Now, you have the audacity to ask me to pay for your bitch of a wife’s medical expenses?”

“Vee, I’ve done things I’m not proud of but you need to know that I regret all of it. I know what I have done was monstrous and horrible and you didn’t deserve that”,

“Spare me from listening to your bullshits. We both know you don’t mean a word of that. I know how you operate. You twist everything to get what you want but I guess I should thank you because if it was not for you, I wouldn’t have worked so hard to get out of your grasp and I wouldn’t end up where I am now”,

“Vee…”

She stretched out her hand and Garrett got pinned against the wall. Vera put a silencing spell throughout the room.

“Do you really think I give a fuck about that bitch getting sick or your apology? I don’t. You can bruise your knees in begging and I wouldn’t give a single dime. I would rather see her die and the two of you drown in debt and desperation…but since you’re here, might as well get something out of it, yeah?” she expressed.

Then…Garrett’s agonizing scream was left unheard by anyone in the motel.


	12. Truth

Hamish felt a sting in his chest and it woke him up. He had not realized he had fallen asleep while watching over Vera…who is now disappeared from his side. She could have woken up and got hungry or something. She had not eaten all day. He forced himself out of the bed feeling the need to assist her if she needs to make something. Seeing her passed out inside the bathroom made him worried for her health. She reassured him that bonding with the Vade Maecum had cured her cancer but he’s not taking any chances.

However, he found no Vera at the kitchen or at any other parts of the house. He had searched everywhere but she’s just gone. He saw the used glass on the kitchen counter which smelled like bourbon. He just knew it’s Vera and his heart kept on pounding inside his chest. His car is still outside which means that if she left, she walked or used magic.

When he got outside of the house to sniff a trail of her, her scent just begins and ends there, like she vanished somehow.

“Teleport”, he muttered.

Hamish took out his phone and started calling every single motels in Norwich. His instinct is telling him that Vera may have gone to see Garrett. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have bothered teleporting herself to avoid being trace by him. After the sixth call, he finally found Garrett’s whereabouts and he quickly drove there.

“Hi, which is Garrett Wilkins’ room?” he asked the lady at the front desk.

The lady frowned at him.

“His daughter is in there with him. Are you the son?” she asked suspiciously.

“I’m the daughter’s boyfriend”, he answered impatiently.

“Oh…Room 16 then”, she said before Hamish walked fast to the said room.

He wanted to kick the door so badly but that would risk disturbing the other guests in the building so he used a little spell he learned at the Order and it worked.

The room is extremely quiet for his taste and as soon as he steps in, the scent of iron hits his senses hard. He’s careful in his movements, not wanting to startle anyone of his presence. When he walked around the other side of the bed, he found a very dead Garrett on the floor covered in his own blood. He should know that because Vera’s blood is known to his sense of smell. The blood is not hers. He quickly closed the door and locked it to avoid anyone seeing the scene before proceeding in searching for Vera inside the stained motel room. Once his sense of smell got over the scent of Garrett’s blood, he finally caught a whiff of Vera’s scent and it’s coming from the bathroom of the motel room.

Hamish did not waste any time and hurried there. Vera is sitting on the floor, hands all bloody. She’s staring onto the wall and she’s pale as a paper. He knelt in front of her.

“Vera, can you hear me?” he asked in panic.

He had never seen her in this trance before. He had seen her zoned out earlier at the school but not like this. It’s like she left her own body and all he’s seeing is a vessel, an empty vessel.

“Come on, Vera. Please, talk to me”, he pleaded in desperation as he cupped her face.

Her cold eyes finally met his.

“I killed him…” she’s distant again, “I killed Garrett and I could’ve used magic for it but I did not want it to be quick so I did it with my bare hands. He’s dead”, she responded coldly.

That would explain the blood on her hands. He still had no idea what exactly she did to have that much blood but it’s not important right now. He needs to get her out of there before anyone sees her. They need to powder that lady at the front desk too. Hamish tried to pull her back the way he used to do but it’s not working. She’s too far gone and he couldn’t reach her.

“Vera, I need you to fight and feel something…please. You know you don’t want to be like this”, he urges.

“Isn’t this what you were dying to do earlier when he was at the house?” he stiffened, “You imagined yourself clawing his insides out of his body, tearing him apart limb by limb? I’ve done it for you. You should be proud”, she stared at her bloody hands, “This is what it feels like to kill someone the way you do. I must admit, I can see the allure”, she replied.

Hamish grabbed her hands and shook her roughly.

“Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!” he yelled on her face, “Yes, I’ve thought about it but I did not act upon it because you asked me to stay with you and I did. You promised me you wouldn’t get your hands dirty. You fucking promised!” he exclaimed.

She did not react nor show any signs of emotions at his outburst.

“Any ideas how we’ll get out of here?” she asked instead.

He took a deep breath, trying to compose himself. Vera is not herself right now and he needs to take care of the situation. Based on what he learned so far at being a practitioner, he casted a spell to move Garrett’s body somewhere and swiftly cleaning the entire room of any evidence the way Vera taught him how to clean up the altar with one spell. Afterwards, he powdered the lady at the front desk to make her forget of ever seeing Garrett, Vera and himself.

Inside the car, Vera remains silent. She had washed the blood off her hands but it’s all done. Hamish had failed to protect her from this. Sure, the bastard deserved to die a horrible death but Vera didn’t deserve to suffer the consequences of it, not after everything she had endured by that bastard’s hands. Garrett’s already dead and he’s still ruining Vera’s life.

\-----------------------------------

Hamish called the Knights and asked them to take care of Garrett’s body. They asked him a bunch of questions but he ignored it all and told them the urgency of his instructions. It was Jack who forced the other two to back off and do what he asked but made him promise to explain when he’s ready.

Vera had cleaned up and is now sitting on the bed. Her hair is still wet and she only got her robe on.

“Help me out here because I’m at a lost here, Vera. Talk to me. Tell me that you still feel something”, he said and knelt in front of her.

He realized that she’s not been pulled by the Vade Maecum into the void. Her eyes are glassy and distant. Her lack of emotional response is not because she’s not feeling anything. It’s because she’s in shock.

“Oh come here”, he said, got up and pulled her into his arms.

Vera did not resist. She allowed him to hold her like that until he felt her arms around his back. He sighed in relief. At least, he had not truly lost her. They can deal with the aftermath and the guilt of what happened later on as long as she remains herself.

“I killed him, Hamish”, she whispered on his chest.

He hugged her tighter.

“We don’t need to talk about it tonight. We can just stay like this for as long as you like”, he replied.

He felt her nod so he guided her to the bed and he lays down beside her before pulling her into his arms again. This time he makes sure not to let her leave his side again.

\-----------------------------------

When the morning comes, Hamish woke up first. Vera is still sleeping peacefully next to him while still wearing her robe. The events of last night came back to him and he felt his stomach turned at the sight of Vera in that bathroom in total shock and covered in Garrett’s blood. Did she really kill him with her bare hands?

He decided to let her sleep some more and he went downstairs to make her breakfast. She had not eaten anything yesterday and she needs food in her system. After almost an hour, he heard her came downstairs.

“Good morning, breakfast is almost ready. There’s coffee over there”, he said without turning to look at her.

It’s not that he does not want to but he’s afraid of burning the omelet. He heard her pour herself a cup of black coffee. Once he’s done with cooking, he put the plates on the counter and faced her.

“I’m sorry”, she suddenly apologized.

“What for?” he asked.

Yes, she did kill someone last night but that man abused her. It’s not something to be sorry for.

“I slipped last night. I woke up and I knew that I drifted. I turned to you something in me wanted to wake you, to stop me from leaving, but I did not. I left and went to his motel room. I just couldn’t stop. He told me why he came here. He wanted me to give him money for his wife’s hospital bills and it just made me snap. I…I wanted to hurt him. I used magic on him to make him feel pain but then…I felt he’s getting it too easy…and, and…” she closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, “…when it’s all over, I felt like me again. My emotions went back and I saw blood, a lot of blood. I remembered the things I did and I couldn’t stand being in the same room with him so I hid…”

“…in the bathroom”, he supplied.

“I broke my promise. I’m sorry”, she apologized again.

He walked around the counter and hugged her.

“It was not your fault. You can’t blame yourself for it. Years of pent up anger will trip anyone over the edge. I mean, I did not live through it and yet I want to kill him myself. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what it’s like for you seeing him again. You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I understand”, he pulled back to look at her, “…but next time you felt like that again, I need you to fight harder, okay? Hold on long enough for me to pull you back”, he requested.

Deep inside, he’s kicking himself for falling asleep and letting this happen.

“I will try”, she responded.

“Don’t worry about it. I took care of it last night. No one saw you or him or me”, he added before taking the seat next to her.

“How about his body?” she asked.

“I asked the pack to bury it somewhere”, he answered.

Her eyes widened.

“Did you tell them about what he did to me? Did you tell them I killed Garrett?” she asked again.

He shook his head.

“No, I did not, although they’re going to need answers soon”, he answered.

Vera sighed. At least, she still got time to think of something. She looked back at Hamish and she can see that he knows she’s about to think of some lie to tell to the wolves and she felt bad about lying. They helped her cover up a murder. The least she can do is tell the truth.

“Alright…you can invite them later, maybe dinner. I need to gather up a lot of energy to deal with their questions and I need the entire day for that”, she said.

“You don’t have to tell them everything”, he muttered.

“Oh, but I do. Truth hurts but no one deserves anything less than the truth”, she replied.


	13. Ms. Farrow

Hamish kept a close eye on Vera the entire day as she walked around the house to keep herself busy. He knows she’s just mentally preparing herself for when the pack arrives at the house and starts asking her questions about her past and her foster father. She’s also dealing with the aftermath of murdering someone for the first time that is not related to her duty as Grand Magus not to mention she used more than her magic to do it. It’s a lot to process in one day. It’s a lot to process in a couple of days. She’s doing her best though to appear calm in front of him.

By the time the wolves arrived, Vera had already had a few glasses of wine to loosen her up but not enough to get her drunk.

“Have a seat”, she said and grabbed the bottle and kept it next to her.

“Okay…why is this making me nervous?” Randall whispered.

“So, you have questions”, Vera started.

The pack looked at Hamish and he simply nodded, encouraging them to fire away their questions.

“I guess we start with why and how your foster father died?” Jack asked first.

Vera shrugged and chuckled a little.

“Logical way to start this night. Why did he die? It’s because he’s stupid enough to come here and I slipped last night. Found myself later on in his motel room. How did he die? I killed him with magic and my bare hands”, she answered.

They stared at her like they don’t recognize her at all.

“Vera drifted last night. It’s not her fault”, Hamish said in her defense.

Her hand found his and stopped him from going on defensive.

“Okay…what he did to you for you to want him dead so bad?” Lilith’s turn to ask.

Hamish looked at Vera, giving her a way out of this conversation. No one will hold it against her if she can’t talk about it right now. She poured another wine in her glass and downed it with one go.

“He raped me”, she heard a few gasps but she did not dare to look at them, “…and it went on until I found a way to get out of there. His wife was too dumb to notice anything or she just didn’t care. I wouldn’t know. From what I heard she’s dying too”, she answered and got herself another drink.

It's like the air got suck out of the house. Everyone is feeling tensed. Now the wolves understood why Hamish reacted the way he did yesterday when they brought Garrett into Vera’s house. He knows what that man did to her and like a fool, they just brought the monster right in her home.

“I’m sorry, Vera”, Randall muttered.

That made her glare at him.

“I don’t need your pity, Mr. Carpio. It’s not why I told you this. Hamish said you have questions so I am answering them so you wouldn’t have to bother him later on. That’s all”, she snapped.

She felt Hamish squeezing her hand to calm her down. She allowed herself to breathe.

“Sorry…did not mean to snap at you”, she apologized later on.

“That’s okay. I annoyed a lot of people, one of my talents”, Randall joked.

That lightens up the mood and Vera found herself smiling a little.

“For the record, I will totally do what you did drifting or not. I might have kept him alive a few more days just to make him suffer more before I kill him…just saying”, Lilith expressed.

Everyone stared at her for a moment before Jack and Randall put their arms around her.

“…if you beat us to it first!” Jack exclaimed.

The tension had left the house and Vera felt touched by the wolves’ reaction to her story and what she has done. She must have done something right with them to deserve being defended by these kids, especially Lilith who had hated her before.

“Well, who’s hungry?” Hamish asked and the three wolves raised their hands and that made Vera laughed.

They just looked so excited with the idea of food. Hamish, on the other hand, was relieved to hear her laugh again.

They all went to the kitchen where they watched Hamish cooked something Italian. Vera popped open another bottle of wine for everyone to share. The Knights did their best in taking her mind off things but telling her funny and embarrassing stories about each other while Hamish listened in and laughed along with them.

“Seriously, Ham-wich here has a thing for older women”, Randall suddenly blurted out and Jack almost choked in his wine.

Lilith hit Randall’s head while Hamish wanted the ground to open and swallow him whole. Vera, on the other hand, is tipsy enough to entertain the jab.

“Really? Mr. Carpio, has Hamish dated any other older women I might have known?” she encourages.

Hamish turned around to face Vera and saw the amused look on her face. She’s enjoying his embarrassment.

“Well, let’s say he’s not very much into dating before. It’s more like one-time thing”, Randall answered.

“Randall!” Hamish scolded.

“…and he never calls them again”, Lilith added.

“Oh, for god’s sake…” Hamish sighed.

Vera chuckled.

“Ms. Farrow”, Randall faked a cough.

Both Hamish and Vera looked at him with wide eyes and for different reasons. Lilith and Jack laughed at their reactions.

“Dude, Hamish is so going to kill you now”, Jack teased.

“What? I have a scratchy throat. I gotta cough”, Randall played coy.

“…more like a scratchy tongue”, Lilith joined.

The three laughed some more as Vera turned back to Hamish.

“You hooked up with Ms. Farrow…” she stated.

Of course, she knows her. She’s the Art teacher in Belgrave. She can see Hamish’s face getting redder. Randall may be right. Hamish does have a type.

“It’s a long time ago, okay, and I regretted it as soon as it’s done. Why are we even talking about this?” he expressed.

They laughed some more.

“Alright, let’s give him some time to breathe. I still want to eat that pasta you’re making”, Vera said.

They all feasted on Hamish’s cooking as they talked about random things about school to more grown ups stuff like choosing an apartment or buying a car.

“I’ll take care of the dishes”, Randall volunteered which surprised Vera at first but Hamish nodded at her telling her that it’s okay.

“Fine, don’t break my china”, she then turned to Hamish, “Excuse me, I need to use the bathroom”, his hold on her hand tightened which both Lilith and Jack noticed, “I will not pass out in the bathroom again”, she said and he finally let her go.

They waited until Vera was gone before Jack leaned in the table.

“How long have you known about her past?” he asked.

“She told me right before she powdered me. That’s how I knew that she got the Vade Maecum Infernal”, Hamish answered.

Lilith groaned.

“I can’t believe I smiled for that asshole! I should have ripped his throat out when I had the chance”, she exclaimed.

“She’s going to be okay though, right? I mean Garrett’s gone and all. She should be fine now. No one is going to bother her anymore”, Randall cut in while finishing with the dishes.

Hamish sighed.

“I hope so. It wouldn’t be right away. This is her first time taking a life of someone that’s not related to her job at the Order. She can’t separate it from herself or justify it as part of the work. She’ll get there but it will take time”, it took them some time too after their first kill. It was not easy and no one else than them can understand what it’s like. “I appreciate it you guys trying to make her forget. It’s nice to hear her laugh again”, Hamish said.

The three smiled.

“We’re glad she finally feels comfortable with us around. Don’t worry, we’re also here for her”, Jack said.

Vera finally came back from the bathroom and saw the three talking intently with each other.

“Are you gossiping about me?” she asked.

“What? No…not at all…” Randall stuttered.

She failed to hold back the smile on her face. She likes scaring Randall because she knows how much he dreads cleaning the temple for hours. When they realized she’s only kidding, they all burst into laughter at Randall’s panicked face.

“Alright, as much as fun this is, you need to go. I believe you all still have classes tomorrow and I have two jobs to attend to as well”, she announced.

The three wolves made an _‘awww’_ sound before Hamish ushered them away with some takeout for their ‘midnight snack’ before returning to Vera who’s nursing her glass of wine. Her gaze is distant, lost in memories. Which memories? He’s not sure but he can guess.

“Don’t you had enough of wine already?” he asked gently as he slid his hands around her torso.

He rested his chin on her shoulder and breathed in her scent.

“Are you implying that I’m drunk, Mr. Duke?” she asked as she leaned backwards to his body.

“I’ve seen you get drunk. This is not drunk. This is tired”, he took the glass from her hand and lifted her up with his arms, “…and I am taking you to bed”, he answered as she giggled.

She’s already kissing him by the time they entered the bedroom but he broke the kiss as soon as he put her on the bed gently.

“What?” she frowned.

“As much as I would love to, you need to rest…please. Your eyes are ready to close and like you said earlier, you have work tomorrow”, he explained.

Her frown deepened.

“Are you saying no to me now?” her tone made him smile. “Discovering about your one-time thing with Ms. Farrow did not change my feelings for you”, she added.

He should feel embarrassed about her bringing up Ms. Farrow again but hearing her say about her feelings for him just made his heart jumped. It’s as close as she gets to saying I love you and he couldn’t contain his happiness that he just has to kiss her again.

Vera responded eagerly as her hands roamed around his back before pulling his shirt over his head. She lets her nails scratched his skin wanting him to devour her more.

“You. Seriously. Need. To. Rest”, he said each word punctuated with a kiss.

“We can rest later. I want you inside me right now”, she replied and undid his belt.

He pushed down his pants before removing her underwear. Unlike before, he did not enter her roughly. He did it slow and precise. The sensation it elicits from her is intoxicating that Hamish wanted to see more of it. He rocked her the same pace until he felt her walls clenching around him. He picked it up and went faster as she raised her legs higher.

“Hamish…” she uttered his name in a long and breathy moan that had him joining her into the abyss.

They stayed connected for a moment as they came down from their high.

“Thank you”, she whispered.

“For what?” he asked.

“…for not giving up on me, even at my worst”, she answered.

He pushed himself up to look at her.

“I love you so much, Vera”, he said and kissed her again.

\----------------------------------

Vera shook violently from a nightmare that woke her up. She turned beside her and saw Hamish stirring and she knows he’s about to wake up.

“Ssshhh…go back to sleep. I’ll just be at the bathroom”, she muttered and he hummed in response.

She entered the bathroom, turned on the water running before hugging herself on the floor as she finally allowed herself to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i thought it would be nice if the Knights tried to cheer her up in their own way which is to embarrass one another. Vera deserved to smile and laugh after everything but still...angst is life.


	14. Altar

The following days, things seemed to have gone back to normal, even Vera. For someone who had tainted her hands with blood for the first time, she’s doing remarkably well. She rarely drifts nowadays and she’s always in a good mood. The disciples enjoy having her around and her presence felt lighter than past few months. She also tends to throw parties here and there even without any occasion. Though they have a pressing matter regarding who stole the Order’s artifacts from the Knights, the weight of it does not seem to burden Vera.

“Grand Magus”, Hamish said upon entering her office.

They have agreed on that formality whenever they are in the temple to avoid being overheard by other disciples. She glanced over at him and saw her smile a little.

“Good, you’re here. There’s an emergency meeting at the school. You’re coming with me”, she got up and grabbed her purse, “Let’s go”, she said and started walking.

\-----------------------------------

She was not lying about the school meeting. The board had called for it after few incidents happened that caused some students to get injured. It’s one of the pressing matters that in need of the Order’s attention. Someone is using magic in public and hurting students. The Knights had been on alert about it but they have not caught whoever it was yet. The board expresses the parents’ fear that their children will be in danger on campus grounds.

Hamish watched as Vera answered each questions confidently and with authority. It always amazes him how she can appear to remain calm even though the matters being discussed are grave. In that moment that he realized something. She always had that talent to appear how she wants to be for other people. She can appear calm even though deep inside she’s panicking. She can appear okay and unaffected even though she’s deeply scarred.

Their eyes met for a brief moment and he saw the shift. One moment, she’s Chancellor Stone addressing the board’s concern and then next, she’s Vera who’s assuring him that she’s just fine before she shifted back to the first one. Has she been doing this the last few days when he’s around? He knew something is off with the way Vera was acting like nothing happened and everything is fine but he thought it’s just him overreacting. Her smiles felt genuine and there were times she’s enjoying herself. Could it all be a pretense so she wouldn’t worry him?

“Any questions?” and since no one asked anything else, the meeting was adjourned.

Hamish went beside Vera right away hoping to have a talk with her regarding his theory when she stopped halfway and plastered a smile on her face that made him cringed.

“Ms. Farrow”, she greeted to the woman they crossed path with.

“Chancellor Stone”, the woman turned to Hamish, “Mr. Duke”,

“We miss you at the meeting earlier”, Vera noted.

He suddenly wanted to dash away from the scene. This couldn’t be more awkward than it already is.

“Forgive me, Chancellor. I was not feeling well this morning so I figured to rest for a few hours to make sure I will be on my best to teach today”, Ms. Farrow explained.

Ms. Farrow’s eyes darted from Vera to Hamish and Vera did not fail to notice how she eyed Hamish like he’s some dessert or something.

“That’s very thoughtful of you, Ms. Farrow, but for future reference, whenever you feel ill, we got TA to cover for your classes. We wouldn’t want to risk our students getting sick because of their art teacher’s determination, right? Oh, and next time, if there’s an emergency meeting, do your best to make it. We don’t want to show to our board that our faculty staff couldn’t come to work on time”,

“…but, Chancellor—”

Vera checked her watch.

“…and your second class for the day just started five minutes ago. Don’t let your efforts coming to campus today go to waste, Ms. Farrow”, she flashed her one last smile before flickering her fingers to Hamish, “Let’s go, Mr. Duke”, she said and walked away from a very confused Ms. Farrow.

\-----------------------------------

TEMPLE

At her office, Vera waved her hand and suddenly, books swarmed the floor and her desk.

“Okay, what was that for earlier with Ms. Farrow?” Hamish couldn’t help but asked.

She arched a brow towards his direction but continued on flipping pages magically. It made Hamish groaned.

“Did it bother you that I talked to Ms. Farrow?” she asked.

“Did it bother me? No, it did not. What bothered me was the way you spoke with her though. She explained that she was not feeling well that’s why she missed the meeting but you did not seem to accept that”, he answered.

One book hit the shelf with force.

“So you’re defending Ms. Farrow now?” she exclaimed.

Hamish paused. Vera is no longer smiling nor teasing. She’s downright pissed. He should go to her and soothe her nerves and make her relax but it just made him smile and then laughed.

“Oh, what’s supposed to be funny now?” she followed up.

“Sorry…I did not mean to laugh…it’s just…are you jealous?” he asked.

Vera gasped and almost hit him with a flying book.

“I AM NOT JEALOUS OF MS. FARROW!” she exclaimed and he laughed some more.

It’s Vera’s turn to groan in frustration as she waved her vault to open. He caught her right before she entered her vault and pulled her into an embrace.

“I’m sorry. I did not mean to piss you off. It’s just, you’re so adorable when you’re jealous”,

“I am not jealous—”

“You are so jealous right now…just admit it”, he tightened his hold on her.

“Fine! Did you see the way she looked at your earlier? She’s looking at you like your some dessert she’s starving to eat”, she admitted.

Hamish chuckled and pressed his lips onto hers. Her groans of frustration were replaced by moans of pleasure. She quickly guided him inside the vault and closed it to avoid being seen by the others. They did not let go of each other until they reached the actual vault that was now empty except for an altar that now stood up.

“Is that an altar?” he asked in between kisses.

Vera just glanced over to it and pulled him towards the altar. He picked her up and set down the altar and succumbed to Vera’s kisses. The ringing in his ears forced him to pull back.

“Vera, the altar is glowing”, he noticed.

She glanced from where she’s sitting and the runes on the altar is glowing. It is amplifying her emotions and she’s loving the rush of it. Her jealousy is making her possessive side comes out.

“Let it glow”, she said and pulled him close again.

He felt her need for him and soon, the ringing got ignored. The way she’s acting is making his primal side comes out and his hold on her is getting tighter to the point of bruising. They skipped the foreplay and went to business. They did not notice how the altar is practically shining at this point as he thrusts into her with force. They’re too caught up in each other and the pleasure flooding each of them to notice that there are runes appearing under Vera’s skin as well.

“More”, she moaned and he gave her his all.

His eyes already flashing silver and growl is coming out of his throat. Vera cursed a long _‘shit…’_ before she fell apart and pulled Hamish along with her…and that’s when it happens…

\-----------------------------------

“Where are you going? The movie is about to start”, Hamish yelled from the living room.

“Bathroom! I’ll be quick!” she yelled back and locked the door.

Vera turned on the water and covered her mouth as she breaks down while leaning against the door. Tears flowed freely from her eyes. It took her few minutes before she was able to regulate her breathing and fixed herself with magic to appear all good to Hamish and then she left went out to watch a movie.

\-----------------------------------

They both stared at each other. None of them can explain what just happened but by the look on Vera’s face, it seems like she’s been caught red-handed. It was a memory…a memory of Vera.

“Vera”,

“Get off of me”, she muttered.

Hamish zipped himself up and tried to help Vera get off the altar but she swatted his hand. As soon as she stood away from the altar, it stopped glowing but the runes on her skin continued to glow for a few more seconds until it dimmed and disappeared.

“I don’t know what happened but…was that real? What I saw…you in the bathroom, was that real?” he asked.

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“I bonded with the Vade Maecum on this altar. It was the only altar strong enough to handle the ritual and when I got close to it, it recognized the power of the grimoire in me. The magic opened up my mind to you. That’s why you saw what you saw”, she explained.

“You did not answer my question”, he pointed out.

She wanted to glare at him for calling her out but there’s no point. Her avoiding tactic is not going to work on him.

“It’s real”, she answered.

He came closer and put his hands on her shoulders.

“I would have understand. I would have let you have your space to cry if you asked me. I want you to know that you don’t have to hide this from me. I will not judge you nor smother you. You can cry inside the bathroom if that makes you comfortable enough to let your guard down and I will be waiting outside the door to comfort you when you’re done. You don’t have to pretend in front of me that you’re okay because that would be more exhausting than just facing it. Trust me. I’ve been there”, he said.

She knows. She just saw it. When her mind went open for him, she was able to get a peek of his as well. She saw his darkest days after Cassie’s death. She saw how he almost tried to destroy himself. She knows he’s been through the same dark path she’s walking on right now but she does not want to be a burden anymore for him. He had already done so much for her. The last thing she wants is to keep on worrying him that any time soon she will break.

“I’m sorry. I just don’t want to worry you”, she apologized.

“I would rather worry about you than be completely unaware of what you’re feeling”, he emphasized.

She lets him hugged her for a moment before she’s certain that she’s okay now and pulled back.

“Well, I did not open the vault to have sex with you down here but since we’ve done already, I need to get something”, he frowned and followed her around the room.

He never thought the vault is this spacious before when it’s filled with artifacts. Vera paused in front of the one side of the wall and her hand glowed. After she uttered a spell, the wall turned and revealed sets of books that are unfamiliar to Hamish.

“What’s that language? I can’t read it, not even Tundra”, he asked.

“These are forbidden spell books. The spells in these weren’t written in Latin because these aren’t just simple magic spells. The language is called Verbis Diablo otherwise known as Words of the Devil. Now, you can guess why these books are forbidden to be touched by any practitioners”, she answered.

“They contained dark spells, evil spells”, he guessed.

“Exactly”, she confirmed.

He turned to her with a frown.

“So why are we standing here if we cannot use these books?” he asked.

She extended her arm and one book flew to her grasp.

“…because I am going to use this one in order to find whoever robbed you of my inventory and when we find them, we kill them. Problem solved”, she answered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is a lousy chapter, i know. Just tired from work and school and other stuff so...bear with me on this one.


	15. The Other Side of the Portal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: It does not end well

Tundra is not feeling so good about the spell book Vera took out of the vault. They can both feel the ill vibe radiating from the book. Vera, on the other hand, seems undeterred and unaffected by it. Perhaps, it’s the Vade Maecum in her that’s allowing her to have the resistance towards the book’s menacing pull. Still, his hide is pushing him to talk her out of using it.

“Can’t we try and track your inventory some other way? I don’t feel so good about this, Vera”, he expressed his concern.

She glanced over to him and saw his fear.

“None of the ordinary spells will work. You steal my inventory manually but whoever stole from you used a demon to do it. That’s why it happened fast and swift. We need dark magic to track a demon”, she explained.

“Wait, you can use a demon to do whatever you like?” he asked.

“It’s not exactly using. It’s dealing with a demon. You’re signing a contract. You ask a demon for something you want but you also should be prepared to give something in return”, she answered.

Whoever stole Vera’s inventory must have really wanted it so badly to deal with a demon for it. Demon is not the most straight up business beings. They tend to find loopholes to contracts in order to cause mischief and wreak havoc. If the person who stole from them is willing to risk that, he or she might have strong reason and purpose for doing that.

“Does using this book has consequences?” he found himself asking.

He knows that Vera does not need any sacrifices to do magic but no one seems to have used dark spell books before so he’s not sure whether there’s a hidden consequences for using spells from the dark book. Her deep sigh confirmed his suspicion.

“Vera”,

“It’s taxing for the body of the practitioner, but I think I’ll be okay. I am more than a simple practitioner right? I might as well use all this power in me to do something productive rather than murdering people in motels”, the worry on his face did not go away, “How about if it gets too much, I’ll let you know and you pull me out?” she proposed.

He would have preferred for her not to proceed with it at all and to find some other way to track the inventory but he knows he’s not going to be able to stop her. They need to recover those inventory and find whoever it is injuring the students at Belgrave.

“Alright…promise me you will let me know if it’s get too much”, he agreed.

“I promise”, she replied.

\------------------------------------

They waited until the night fell and the temple is finally emptied of students. They had to make sure everyone is out to keep them safe in case the spell goes wrong. The two proceeded at the altar where Vera put the spell book down gently as she prepared herself to do the spell. Hamish stood next to her, looking closely just in case.

“Let’s start”, she breathed out and let her magic ran to her hands.

The book responded to her magic and Hamish felt more of its ill vibe oozing out of it. Vera started uttering words so foreign for both Hamish and Tundra’s ears. It’s still enough to send shivers down his spine. The map she had previously laid above the altar slowly glowed before the golden light on it worked on gathering over on one spot and then moved as it scoured the map. The spell is working. Vera kept on going with the spell for as long as it’s needed for the golden light to fixate on the location on the map where they can find the stolen artifacts. Perhaps, Vera can really handle the dark magic.

He spoke or rather thought of it too soon.

He first sniffed that familiar iron scent that is her blood before his eyes saw the small droplet of red liquid onto the altar. She’s continuing with the spell and the golden light’s movement on the map is slowing down which means it’s nearing to where they needed it to be.

“Vera”, he called gently but she ignored him and kept on going.

More droplets landed on the altar and the smell of blood went strong throughout the room. The light is now hovering over New London, Connecticut. It’s barely moving which means the inventory is around the corners in the area.

“Vera, I think we got it”, he whispered but she’s not stopping.

The light had stopped moving pinning the location of the inventory. Hamish turned to Vera who’s caught up with the uttering the spell. Her eyes are closed, lips wouldn’t stop moving, blood falling down from her nose. Tundra pushed on Hamish and he knew he needs to act now. He slammed the dark spell book shut before grabbing Vera away from the altar and shaking her body to snap her out of whatever it is that pulled her under.

She shut her eyes open and he saw green orbs. It took a few seconds before her natural blue eyes returned. When she comes to from her trance, she was met with his worried eyes. She knew she had lost it by then.

“Did we do it?” she asked.

“Yes. New London, Connecticut”, he answered and produced a clean handkerchief to wipe at her nose.

It’s only then she realized her nose is bleeding which caused the worry in Hamish.

“Sorry…I couldn’t bring myself to stop. Thanks for pulling me out”, she apologized.

He sighed. He knew about that. He saw it on her face earlier.

“It’s alright. You scared me there but it’s all good now. You’re okay”, he replied.

The two walked back towards the altar. Vera noticed the book is closed and Hamish gave her a look that informed her that it’s his doing. She then looked at the map and saw the small burnt part of it which is the location they needed to find the missing inventory.

“So glad it worked. I don’t want to do it again”, she muttered and he pulled her to his body.

\-------------------------------------

They returned the book back in the vault and Vera sealed it with magic into the wall. Hamish can finally breathe and relax when the ill vibe of the book vanished into the wall of the vault. Tundra felt the same too. They both really despised that spell book.

“I am so glad you did not find these books or we will be totally screwed right now”, she muttered.

He felt a wave of guilt washed through him. It’s their fault Vera had to use that nasty book. If they had not stolen from her, the inventory wouldn’t be taken from them as well.

“I’m sorry”, he apologized.

She turned to him and cupped his face.

“I did not mean it like that. We’re good. I just meant about the dark spell books being out in the open. I already got the Vade Maecum coursing through my veins and I almost failed in handling it. Could you imagine if anyone gets ahold of them?” she explained.

“I know. I just felt bad that you had to do that because of what we’ve done”, he replied.

She pressed her lips on him before giving him a smile.

“Stop beating yourself up. It’s not going to undo anything. Let’s move forward and get my inventory back. We got the address so I suggest we take it. Consider it the Knights’ way of making it up to me”, she suggested.

“Fair enough. I’ll call them”, he agreed.

\-----------------------------------

As the Knights travelled to recover her missing inventory, Vera stayed in her office. She tried her best to be tough in front of Hamish but the emotional toll and now the physical toll she just got from performing a dark spell came crashing down on her. The pull of the Verbis Diablo was too strong even for her and she failed to get herself out of its grasp. If it was not for Hamish, she would have died earlier uttering the words of the Devil. Her body is spent. Her mind is drained. She wasn’t lying when she said she doesn’t want to do it again.

Vera allowed herself to rest and have the Vade Maecum heal her body. The runes reappeared on her skin and proceed to restoring her health.

She must have dozed off because when she opened her eyes, seven hours had already passed. She checked her phone and still, she had not get any updates from Hamish or any Knights so she tried calling them instead but none of them are answering.

“What is going on?” she’s beginning to worry.

What if the location was just a trap? What if it’s been set to lure them in and she just sent them to their deaths?

Surely, they can fight their way out of there, right? Vera groaned in frustration. She should have come with them but Hamish insisted for her to rest. Why did she listen to him?

Vera put the map she used earlier on her desk to concentrate on the coordinates of the inventory. She memorized it again and again and when she’s ready, she turned to the space in her office and waved her hand to open a portal to the said address.

Her jaw almost hit the floor when the first thing she saw is Hamish making out with another woman she does not recognize from anywhere. She felt herself rooted to the floor, unable to say anything or do anything. It’s one thing to be told of Hamish’s past fling but to see it in person? It’s too much. Before her chest can explode, she waved her hand and closed the portal before anyone can see her over there.

The map on her desk got turned into crisp in her anger and she quickly left the temple to go back to her house.

\-----------------------------------

She went through from one bottle to another once she gets in her house. It’s better than burning herself with magic. With alcohol, she can just get drunk and then fall asleep after with the hope of waking up to a better day and what she saw was just a hallucination of some sort. She’s in her _fourth?_ bottle when she heard the door opened and closed.

“Hey, you’re not at the temple”, she heard him say.

Vera kept her back onto him and savored her wine.

“Great job”, she responded.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

She wanted to laugh at the question. _What’s wrong? Really? That’s the best you got?_

“Nothing’s wrong. Everything’s fine”, she slammed the glass onto the counter with force and turned to him with rage in her eyes, “I hope the assignment did not bother you that much. I bet you had other engagement earlier”, she answered.

“Vera, what are you talking about?” he asked and that snapped her out.

“Okay, when you drugged me and robbed me, I understood why you did it because I took your memory first but lying to my face now when I’ve done nothing wrong to you this time is something I can’t take”,

“Vera, can you just please tell me what’s going on?” he asked.

“Who is she?” he halted. “I saw you with her. You were taking so long and I got worried so I opened up a portal to get you out in case there’s some kind of trouble but there’s no trouble. You were just taking your time kissing someone else!” she exclaimed.

He went pale which confirmed what she saw earlier. She would settle for the hallucination explanation of it but his reaction just made it more real.

“I can explain. It’s not what you think”, he muttered.

“Oh, and what am I thinking right now, Hamish? Please enlighten me because you seem to know how my mind works the last few months. Please do tell!” she spat and it rattled some of her lights hanging onto the ceiling. If she does not calm down, she’s going to blow the house.

“I will explain everything if we can just sit down and talk calmly”, he tried but she’s scorching.

“Get out”, she muttered under her breath.

“No”, he resisted.

Vera arched an eyebrow at his defiance and she quickly opened a portal that leads to the Den and pushed him into it before closing it off.

“I told you to get out”, she muttered and resumed drinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know Hamish kinda screwed up but she did not let him explain and we're not sure yet what happened when Hamish and the Knights went to New London, CT. We'll know on the next chapter ;-)


	16. Within Seven Hours

SEVEN HOURS EARLIER

Hamish had brought the Knights with him to New London to check out the address they got from the dark spell Vera performed. She had insisted on coming with them but he figured it will be best if she rest for a moment. Even though she does her best in hiding it from him, he can see the toll it took on her body doing that spell. Thankfully, she agreed to stay put. He promised her that they will return her inventory to her no matter what it takes. It’s the only way they can make it up to her for robbing her in the first place.

“How was she able to find this place again?” Lilith asked as they walked towards the said address.

“A very bad spell…can’t even talk about it without cringing”, Hamish answered.

That piqued the interest of the others though…

“What kind of spell?” Randall followed up.

Hamish glared at him.

“Dark spell…it’s forbidden to be used by any practitioner but Vera broke that rule to track the inventory. She said that whoever stole it from us made a deal with a demon to do the job. That’s why it was taken from us so fast. No simple tracking spell can trace a work of a demon so Vera had to use that spell. It was scary and she almost got sucked into it if I had not been there. So, none of this will ever get out, do you understand? It’s dangerous if others find out about those spells”, he answered and instructed.

The three wolves nodded.

“Understood. Consider it forgotten already”, Jack agreed.

Hamish stopped walking as he glanced over his phone and the building in front of them.

“We’re here”, he announced.

“Let’s get those stuff out of there and make Vera happy”, Lilith said.

\-------------------------------------

Something is odd as soon as they stepped inside the building. It feels almost like a maze. They kept going back to the same floor and it went for probably hours.

“I’m tired, dude. We keep going in circles”, Randall complained.

“It must have been a protective enchantment to keep outsiders from intruding”, Lilith cut open her palm and chanted something and they saw the hallway changing, “Cloaking spell…they hid the correct path”, she figured out.

Jack patted her back.

“Good job, Lil. That’s a nice spell”, he complimented which made her smile.

They continued to venture into the building and a faint ringing lead them to a room at the end of the hall. They’re sure there’s someone in there doing magic. On the count of three, they burst in and saw…well, they saw all the artifact from Vera’s vault out in the open.

“Whoa…” Randall muttered.

They browsed through everything and they’re certain everything is in that room, even their hide lockers.

“I thought this will be harder than this”, Lilith said.

Jack is readying the spell Vera instructed them to do once they found the artifacts so they can transport the inventory from that place back into her vault when they heard someone approaching.

“Hamish?”

That voice alone was enough to stop Hamish on his tracks. He knew that voice. He recognized that voice from years ago. When he turned around, he saw a ghost or what’s supposed to be a ghost.

“Cassie?” he muttered.

The girl smiled and scoffed.

“Of course, it’s me! Who do you think will call you like that?” she greeted happily.

Jack leaned in to Randall to ask if that’s really Hamish’s ex and he only nodded.

“I don’t understand. How are you here?” Hamish asked the question in all of their brains.

Cassie sat by the desk and sighed.

“Well, I died. I know that for sure but for some reason, I was pulled back from the dead. They took me in. Healed me. Helped me recover both mentally and physically. Being hit by a powerful spell and having my throat cut open weren’t easy to recover from but they were patient with me. Once I got healed, they taught me magic”, she scoffed, “Can you believe it? I do magic now! Do you remember how much I hated magic before? They showed me that magic is not all bad and that it can do good just like it can do bad to people. It all depends on the user”, she answered.

“Who’s _they?_ You kept referring to _they_ ”, Jack asked.

She smiled at Jack.

“Silverback…to answer your question, they’re called Praxis. They’re an organization dedicated to helping people through magic”, she answered.

Lilith almost growled at that.

“You mean distributing magic to irresponsible students?” she snapped.

Cassie turned to her and realized something.

“Timber chose you to be her next champion. I can see why. You’re full of fire. She made a great choice”, Lilith backed off a little, “Well, that was a setback. We specifically told them not to do magic in public and without supervision from an experienced practitioner but youth are stubborn. It’s not going to happen again”, she explained.

Hamish still can’t believe his eyes. His dead ex-girlfriend has been alive all along. She’s been alive during those times he’s ready to die and follow her to the other side. What would happen if she decided to come back all those years ago? Would it change anything? Would he still end up with Vera?

“You stole from us”, he noted.

“Wasn’t my idea. They’ve been watching you for a long time and when you decided to rob the Order, they couldn’t pass up the opportunity. The Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose has been hoarding up magic for centuries when magic is not exclusively theirs. I mean, look at what they did with magic. They used it to gain more money, more fame, more power. They used it for their own personal gains. They never helped people. For a caretaker of magic, they’ve done a horrible job for it”, Cassie justified.

Randall coughed.

“One thing though, we’re members now of the Order so when you say we do a horrible job being caretaker of magic, I am deeply offended by that”, he cut in.

Cassie was surprised with the information.

“Well, look at that. Things really have changed. The Knights of St. Christopher are now members of the Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose”, she muttered.

“Actually, it’s Knights of the Blue Rose. We found out we’re really part of the Order. We’re supposed to be the protector of the Order from threats both outside and inside”, Jack noted.

Cassie hummed.

“I supposed you’re here to get these things back?” she guessed.

“Are you going to stop us?” Hamish asked.

They looked at each other for a moment before Cassie smiled.

“Well, Salvador is going to be mad at me for letting these things go but to be honest, they just cramped up the space and they’re all so creepy to be around with so no, I will not stop you under one condition”,

“What’s that?” he asked.

“Will you kiss me?” she rolled her eyes around, “Look, I know you’re probably with someone now and that you moved on. I get it. Just humor me for old times’ sake. It’s been a while since the last time I kissed you and I want to remember it”, she answered.

Hamish swallowed. His entire being is saying no. It’s a betrayal to Vera. He also promised her that he will get her inventory back no matter what it takes. He wants to do that without having to fight Cassie. He glanced towards the others and he saw Lilith shaking her head while the two boys just shrugged.

“Fine”, he agreed.

Choose the one that’s with less violence, he tells himself as he approached Cassie.

“Relax, Hamish. It’s not like we haven’t done this before”, she teased.

She held his arms and pressed her lips onto his. The kiss felt familiar. His own body responded. Of course, it’s familiar. He loved Cassie so much once and then she was gone. He grieved her, almost destroyed himself on the process for her, and then he moved on. He found Vera and has fallen in love with her with all his heart. That made him pushed Cassie off of him to break the kiss.

“I’ve done what you asked. We’re taking these. I hope you’re still true to your words”, he said.

She smiled at him.

“Of course, Hamish. Do your thing. I will not stop you and thank you for kissing me one last time”, she replied.

Hamish started walking back to the others when he caught Vera’s scent from somewhere. He glanced around the room but did not see her. His brain tells him that it could be because they’re being surrounded by her inventory. Her scent must have latched onto some of the artifacts in the room.

“Do it”, he said to Jack and the latter performed the spell that transported them along with all the artifacts to Vera’s vault at the temple.

They held on to Hamish as they walked out of the vault to protect them from Vera’s enchantment and when they got out, her office was empty.

“Where is she? I thought she’ll be waiting for us”, Lilith asked with a frown.

“Yeah…I was hoping for a happy face Vera”, Randall seconded.

Hamish checked his watch and realized they’ve been gone for too long.

“She must have gone home. I’ll go check. Go and rest at the Den. I’ll call you if anything comes up”, he said and the three wolves nodded.

\------------------------------------

DEN – PRESENT TIME

It startled the Knights when a blue circle opened up in the middle of the living room before Hamish came out of it landing over the coffee table and breaking it in the process.

“What? How? Did you just come out of a portal?” Randall asked in awe.

“I’d say that’s some entrance. Where is Vera?” Lilith asked with an amused smile on her face.

Hamish picked up himself from the floor before Jack shook his head and fixed the table with magic.

“She’s the one who threw me into that portal”, he answered.

“What did you do?” Jack immediately asked.

He sighed.

“She saw me kissing Cassie earlier. Apparently, she got worried when we’ve been gone for hours so she decided to check for herself if we needed help. She opened a portal to that room and saw the exact moment I was kissing Cassie”, he answered.

“Did you tell her why you did it though? You did it to get the inventory back”, Randall followed up.

“No. She did not give me a chance. She kicked me out already”, he answered.

“Well, I doubt it will make a difference even if you explained”, the three looked at her. “What? You really did not need to kiss her. We could have just put her to sleep and get it over with”, she argued.

“I just want to get it done without anyone getting hurt”, he explained.

“Yeah…well, that did not work out well because someone still ended up hurting”, she scoffed and walked away.


	17. Dilemma

Vera had woken up with a massive case of hangover the next day. She had fallen asleep in the living room surrounded by bottles of wine and one bottle of scotch. Did she just mix red wine and scotch in her body last night? That would explain the hangover then. She waved her hand and all the bottles disappeared. She breathed in deep before healing her headache so she can function like a decent human being. Like a programmed robot, she went to the bathroom to take a shower, get dressed, and fix herself in front of the mirror to look presentable.

At Belgrave, she went business as usual. She stayed at her office for a few hours signing different documents and reviewing students records before doing her rounds throughout the campus. It’s not intentional but her feet took her to Ms. Farrow’s class.

“Chancellor Stone…good morning”, Ms. Farrow turned to her students, “…be back in a sec”, then hurried to meet Vera at the door, “What can I do for you, Chancellor?” she asked with a big smile on her face.

Her cheerfulness is causing Vera’s ears to burst. Of course, she’s known to be that cheerful but ever since she found out her past with Hamish, she had grown to dislike her cheerfulness.

“I was just making my rounds and decided to check in if you’re feeling better now”, Vera made up.

She’s not at all concern about the woman’s health.

“Oh, thank you for your concern, Chancellor. I am feeling so much better now”, Ms. Farrow answered, unaware of Vera’s growing irritation.

“Well, that would be all, Ms. Farrow. Get back to your class and have a nice day”, Vera said and did not wait for the woman to reply as she walked away.

\-------------------------------------

When she got into the temple, she did not greet anyone she crossed path with even Alyssa Drake or some of the Knights. Yes, some of the Knights. Even though she’s ignoring practically everyone, she’s aware Hamish is not with the others. Upon entering her office, she understood why he’s not with his friends. He’s already inside her office waiting for her with a drink.

“Should I be concern if there’s anything special in that drink, Mr. Duke?” she asked coldly.

Hamish clenched his jaw and shook his head.

“None, Grand Magus…just the usual drink you used to like”, he answered.

She hummed and grabbed the glass and downed it with one go.

“Delicious. Now go. I have work to do”, she said dismissively.

“Vera, can we talk?”

She glared at him. Not only she does not like to talk to him, he also addressed her with her first name inside the temple filled with disciples.

“You’re dismissed, Acolyte”, she snapped.

Hamish realized his mistake but he’s determined to explain himself to Vera. He waved his hand and closed her office door before locking it.

“They can’t hear us now. Just give me a chance to explain”, he insisted.

Vera’s temper is slowly rising. She did not respond but simply leaned back her chair which he took as an answer to do what he wants.

“Okay…that girl you saw…that was Cassie”, he saw her frowned. “I know. When we entered that building, we went in circles for hours until Lilith figured out there’s some cloaking spell throughout the hallway, diverting us from finding the true path. We reached the room where all of your inventory were kept and we were about to do the spell you instructed when she just suddenly appeared out of nowhere. I was caught off guard. All of us were caught off guard. We thought she’s dead and she was until she was brought back”,

“…brought back by whom?” she asked.

“Cassie said they called Praxis. They’re an organization that’s been distributing magic to people. The injured students weren’t injured by just one person. They had recruited couple of students in Belgrave that thought it would be fun to practice spells in public and ended up hurting others. They brought Cassie back and healed her before teaching her magic”, he answered.

Vera breathed in deep. Her brain is already working out numbers of things that can be a problem with this new group.

“Tell me you at least have your ex-girlfriend somewhere so we can interrogate her”, she said.

Hamish frowned.

“What? No…” he inhaled deeply, “She just let us take the inventory out of that room. What you saw…it was her condition for letting us go just like that with everything. I did not want to fight her in order to get the artifact back and I did not want to fail the assignment. They taught her magic and I knew Cassie. She would fight like hell if she wants to so I agreed to her condition but that was just it. After that, we did the spell and got out of there fast”, he answered.

She pinched the bridge of her nose while trying to remain compose.

“You did not think about, I don’t know, putting her to sleep or just simply powdering her or better yet, drugging her?” it’s like Lilith’s words echoing in his ears, “I mean, there were four of you wolves in there who knows how to use magic and you can’t handle one zombie girl?” she exclaimed.

They locked eyes for one moment before Vera turned away.

“I’m sorry, Vera. I thought I was choosing a more peaceful option. I did not want anyone to get hurt”, he apologized.

She chuckled at that.

“Congratulations, Mr. Duke. You succeeded in protecting your ex-girlfriend”, the runes on her skin slowly reappeared as her eyes lit up in green orbs, “I bet you also wanted to remember what it felt like kissing her all those years ago”,

Hamish felt a shiver as Vera reiterated Cassie’s words when she laid out her condition. How could she possibly have known that?

“Those students they recruited that hurt the other students, they performed spells without doing any sacrifice. That’s why their spells bounced around and hurt innocent people around. The group she’s in is distributing magic to irresponsible and uneducated wannabe practitioners who just want a taste of magic without paying up. Do you know what they are risking to happen? Tartarus eruption. If they keep it up, they’re going to cause the end of the world, but I guess you did not know that because you were too caught up in your hazy dream”, she waved her hand which opened the door, “If you want to be of use, I suggest you find your ex-girlfriend and bring her to me. Otherwise, get out of my sight so I can handle this”, she added.

Hamish does not know what to do. Vera wants Cassie to be interrogated inside the temple. What is she planning to do with her?

“Let me do the interrogating”, he received a glare from her, “She does not trust you. Maybe she’ll talk to me and tell me things about Praxis”, he added.

Her eyes are literally glowing. She’s losing control over her temper and he can now feel her power radiating off of her body.

“Leave the temple”,

“Vera”,

“That’s Grand Magus to you!” she exclaimed which caused for every glass inside the temple to shatter.

They heard collective gasps from outside.

“I told you once I couldn’t take another betrayal and you just did it the moment you saw her. Leave the temple. You can only come back if you have the stomach to bring her here. If not, don’t ever set foot inside my temple”, she said.

Hamish wanted to push it more but that would risking her blowing up the whole place. She already made all the glass inside the temple blew up.

“I’m sorry. I did not mean to hurt you this way. I just want to bring back what we took from you without having to fight anyone. I’m sorry”, he apologized again and left her office.

“What did she say?” Jack asked when he got outside.

“She wants me to bring Cassie her for interrogation. She’s worried about Praxis causing Tartarus eruption”, Hamish answered to which Alyssa and Lilith almost gasped, “What?” he asked.

“Tartarus eruption happens when practitioners keep on using magic without paying the sacrifice. It throws off the balance in the cosmos and that imbalance creates these eruptions. The more practitioners skip sacrifices, the bigger the eruption gets until it becomes an apocalypse”, Alyssa answered.

“…and I am guessing those members of Praxis don’t do sacrifice”, Lilith added.

“So, are you bringing Cassie here?” Jack asked Hamish.

They all can see how torn he is. Both women are important to him, his past and his present. He wants to prove to Vera that she’s the one he loves but he’s worried of what Vera will do to Cassie if she refuses to answer her questions.

“I don’t know. She said I am not allowed to set foot here unless I bring Cassie here. I might investigate first about Praxis, see if I can gather anything that might help”, Hamish answered.

Hamish being kicked out of the temple is a shocker to all of them but they can understand the situation. They get where Vera’s coming from and they can also empathize in Hamish’s dilemma.

“Alright, dude. We’ll keep you posted”, Jack said and with that Hamish walked away.

“Okay, I’ll back up Hamish. Make sure he’s not going to do something stupid”, Randall volunteered and ran after Hamish.

“I’ll do research about both Praxis and Tartarus eruption. Wanna join me?” Alyssa asked Jack with her hand laid out.

Lilith, however, is the one who took her hand.

“I’ll join you”, she turned to Jack. “You talk to Vera. Don’t let her drift”, she said before ushering Alyssa away.

“Great. Thanks”, he whispered.

\-------------------------------------

Jack slowly entered Vera’s office and found her standing in front of her desk with her arms supporting her as she leaned over. He can hear her controlling her breathing.

“What do you want, Mr. Morton?” she asked in annoyance.

“I just came by to check if you want some company or someone to talk to…or someone to yell at?” he answered.

That made her turn around and he saw her green eyes though they’re fading. She’s been trying to calm herself down since Hamish left.

“You’re not usually this nice, Mr. Morton, which means you need something. What is it?” she asked.

“I don’t need anything”,

“You came here in defense of your friend”, she accused.

“Well…that’s a gray area”, he muttered.

“That’s what I thought. Boys stick together, huh”, she hissed.

“It’s not like that. I can’t speak for Hamish. I can only speak for myself. When I got into the Order, I had one goal and that was to get back at my father. Pete brought me up for that. He trained my entire life to hate my father and I did. The night of my induction, I came face to face with him and I had every chance to just slice his throat right then and there but I couldn’t. It’s not that I am a coward, no. I couldn’t do it because I kept thinking I wouldn’t be here if it was not for him. I wouldn’t have met Alyssa or the Knights or you if it was not for him. I am sure it’s not the same with Hamish but from what I heard he took it badly when Cassie died so I understood if he hesitated in doing any magic towards her. Maybe he thought that as some sort of an attack towards her, I don’t know…maybe. I also know that he was determined to get back your things that he’s not willing to leave that building empty-handed. He’s in a tough spot. He’s in a dilemma but I am a hundred percent sure that his feelings for you is not in question”, explained.

“Everyone has a dilemma. It’s only a matter of handling it”, she muttered.

“True. Let’s see how Hamish handles his. In the meantime, we can hang out. What are we drinking?” he replied with a smile that got her rolling her now blue eyes around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in Hamish's efforts to avoid hurting Cassie (he thought doing magic on her is sort of similar to how she died) he ended up hurting Vera. Hold your horses people. Things are just about to start so we'll see ;-) *evil laugh*


	18. Vice Chancellor's Phone

Jack has been doing his best on keeping an eye on Vera and being there for her for everything that she needs but he knows that she’s not going to be okay until Hamish brings Cassie to her. Of course, he recognized Hamish’s fear of what Vera might do to Cassie during the interrogation. Vera might drift and hurt her or still hurt Cassie without drifting if the latter refuses to talk. Still, as Grand Magus, Jack knows it’s something Vera must do to learn more about this new threat not only to them but to other innocent people. If it’s true that Praxis skips doing sacrifices, they are a big threat to everyone.

“Have you seen Hamish?” he asked when he saw Alyssa and Lilith at the Den.

“No. Randall texted earlier that they’re still investigating”, Alyssa answered.

“Why are you here? Why aren’t you with Vera?” Lilith asked.

“I am running out of reasons to hang out in her office. She’s working and my presence annoys her. She’s calm now though. Her eyes are no longer green”, he answered.

Lilith sighed. Things were okay until Cassie came into the picture. She loves the way they were, just hanging out in Vera’s kitchen and making fun of Hamish.

“We pinpoint some sightings of minor eruptions so we can confirm that they are not a fan of doing sacrifices”, she muttered.

“That’s bad. Maybe we can track the student members of Praxis on campus”, Jack suggested.

“You guys do that. I’ll keep reading”, Alyssa agreed.

\-------------------------------------

Meanwhile, Hamish and Randall found themselves back in that building where they recovered Vera’s inventory.

“What are we doing here again?” Randall asked.

“We’re here to talk to Cassie”, Hamish answered.

“Okay…hold on a second, dude. You want to go back there after Vera saw you making out with your ex-girlfriend?” he followed up.

Hamish sighed.

“I want to ask her the questions first about Praxis. Vera wants to talk to her and I know how Cassie distrust the Order. Do you think she’ll talk in front of Vera?” Randall shook his head. “Exactly…if Cassie refuses to talk to Vera, you know Vera will be forced to use magic to make Cassie talk. I don’t want it to get to that. Maybe Cassie will talk to me”, Hamish explained.

“Alright, dude. Let’s go”, Randall yielded.

Something is different inside the building. There is no protective enchantment placed on it whatsoever like the last time they went there. When they got inside the room where the inventory were kept, it’s completely empty now, like it’s never been resided before.

“Does this always look like this or we’re in a different room?” Randall asked as they looked around.

“This is the same room”, Hamish answered.

They heard the door first before they saw Cassie standing there with the same smile on her face.

“You came back. I’m afraid there’s no artifacts left here”, she said.

“Cassie, it’s not why we came back. We need to talk to you about Praxis”, Hamish replied.

She gestured for them to sit and they did.

“What do you want to know?” she asked.

“Do you know that your members are not doing sacrifices when performing magic?” she did not answer, “Cassie, you can’t do magic without it. You’re risking an apocalypse. You’re causing Tartarus eruption”, Hamish said.

Randall felt uneasy being in the room all of a sudden.

“Magic is all around us. It’s everywhere, in the air, the trees, the land, the sea…it’s not meant to be like this. Do you know there’s a way for magic to be free and available to all? The Order has been keeping it from us because they want to keep the magic for themselves. Just imagine a world where everyone can be equal. There won’t a crime. It’s a magical utopia”, she expressed.

Hamish’s heart pounded. Of course, he knows about that way she’s talking about.

“You’re talking about the Fors Factoram Incantation”, he muttered.

Cassie’s smile turned into a smirk.

“Always the clever one…yes, darling. That’s what I am talking about”, she confirmed.

“Hold on…is that why you stole the inventory? You’re searching for the incantation?” Randall asked.

She turned to him.

“It turns out the Grand Magus is very good at hiding it but we’ll find it…sooner than you think”, she answered.

“Cassie, you can’t perform that spell. It’s not what you think. It has a price like everything else. It will claim your life”, Hamish reasoned.

Vera had told him that and if it was not for the Vade Maecum, that spell would have continue to eat Vera’s health away.

“We’ll decide that for ourselves. The Order has no right to make decisions for all of us. Where is the free will, Hamish? That’s what Praxis is all about. Praxis lets us decide for ourselves. Praxis lets us be ourselves. It’s something the Order will never do”, she argued.

“Is it going to be worth it though? You letting your second life be eaten away for power?” Hamish asked.

She gave him a sad smile.

“I’ve already had a taste of death, a gruesome one, a death I did not choose. I am choosing this one because I can make it meaningful. I can help so many people with that magic without throwing the world in apocalypse. I can heal so many sick ones at the hospitals or those who cannot afford to go to the hospitals. Do you remember our little joke back then? We’re not meant to live long. Our duty will kill us early. I am not meant to live long, Hamish. This time I get to decide how I die and what for, not the Order”, she answered.

Suddenly, Randall felt a little woozy.

“Uh…Hamish? I think we should get out of here”, he muttered.

Hamish turned to him with a frown before he felt it too.

“Something wrong?” Cassie asked.

He glanced over the Cassie before he heard the the rustling sound coming from the vent.

“You knew we were coming…this is…a setup”, he struggled to say as something is pulling him to slumber.

The two of them fell into the floor as Cassie knelt next to him.

“Sleep well, my love. Everything will be alright when you wake up”, she muttered before everything goes dark.

\------------------------------------

Vera was about to go home when she got a message from her Vice Chancellor asking her to meet at the campus for an urgent matter. Her first thought was there’s another student injured by those rogue practitioners but when she got into Belgrave, the entire building was empty.

The sound of her heels clicking on the floor is the only thing that can be heard. She knows something bad is about to happen and she has a feeling that it’s not really her Vice Chancellor who messaged her to get there. It could be a trap.

“Chancellor Stone?” Ms. Farrow looked at her with wide eye after coming out of the ladies’ room.

“Ms. Farrow? What are you still doing here at this hour?” Vera asked, hiding the fact that she was startled.

“Oh, I had to finish and grade a few art projects. I totally lost track of time and then I had to use the bathroom”, she answered embarrassingly.

“I appreciate your dedication to your job, Ms. Farrrow, but you have to go home. I believe you have an early class tomorrow”, Vera said.

“Yes, Chancellor”, Ms. Farrow looked torn, “May I ask why are you still here at this hour? It’s not that I am prying. It’s just that, you’re not usually on campus this late”, she asked.

That’s true. Vera always leaves the campus after lunch to attend to her temple duties.

“I got a message from the Vice Chancellor to meet him here. You don’t happen to know where he is, do you?” Vera answered then asked.

Ms. Farrow shrugged.

“I haven’t seen Vice Chancellor Johnson since this morning”, she answered.

Vera hummed and decided to take a few steps away. She then took out her phone and dialed the Vice Chancellor’s number and call. She heard the ringing, not coming from her phone, but from another cell near her…too near from her. She put her phone down and turned around to look back at Ms. Farrow who’s now holding the Vice Chancellor’s phone.

“I always thought it would be harder to get you here alone but I guess I overestimated you, Grand Magus”, Ms. Farrow said.

“I supposed you’re a member of Praxis then”, Vera muttered.

Ms. Farrow smiled.

“Yes, you’re right…but I am more than that as well”, she confirmed.

Ms. Farrow’s face suddenly glowed before reverting to another appearance that almost left Vera in shock.

“You…you’re Cassie”, she muttered.

She recognized her. How can she not? As much as she wants to forget what she saw in that portal, she can’t. The image of Hamish kissing another woman is already engraved in her brain.

“Good memory”, she flashed a smile on Vera, “I honestly don’t know what Hamish saw in you but as you can see, he will always choose me”,

“What are you talking about?” Vera asked.

“You asked him to bring me in and he did not. He went to see me today to ask me questions, to warn me. If he’s so in love with you, he could have just hit me with a spell and take me to the temple but he did not. That says a lot now, doesn’t it?”

Vera clenched her fists.

“It’s hard getting you alone, you know. They’re always around you. Going to your house is a bad idea because the Knights will be able to get my scent and Hamish…well, he’s always around you. So, I found a way to separate the two of you for once. Call me psychic but something tells me that you will be checking in on them if they took too long in locating your inventory. I placed that cloaking spell around the building and prevented them from breaking it for hours until the right time came. It was perfect, wasn’t it? Did you enjoy the show? He still kiss the same, by the way”, she answered.

“You planned it all. You’ve been watching us and waiting for the right moment. You’ve done all of those things for what? To get me here in the middle of the night? I should say that I’m impressed but…it’s a little amateurish for my taste”, Vera spat.

Cassie’s smile disappeared.

“Where is the Fors Factoram?” she asked.

“So, that’s what you’re looking for…sorry to say that you came back from the dead for nothing”, Vera answered.

Cassie snarled and hit Vera with a spell. Vera did not anticipate that one and she hit the wall hard.

“Where is the incantation?!” Cassie yelled.

Vera’s anger is bubbling up.

“Maybe try searching at the moon”, she mocked.

Cassie hit again and again and Vera is almost at the end of her ropes.

“Walk away, Cassie”, she said.

“You’re not the boss of me, Grand Magus”, Cassie spat.

“Don’t waste your second life. Just walk away while you still have a chance”, Vera repeated.

Cassie did not listen and hit her again. This time, it did not reach Vera. Her eyes are now green and the runes are now visible on her skin. There’s a look of fear on Cassie’s eyes before she tried to attack again. Vera snapped and waved her hand, throwing Cassie from where she’s standing straight to the lockers, breaking her neck in an instant. She was still panting when she felt someone else is there with her.

“Vera…what have you done?” Hamish muttered in horror.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh oh...


	19. Eruption

FEW MOMENTS BEFORE

It was already dark when Hamish and Randall came to. Cassie is no longer with them inside the empty room and it’s only then that it sinks in their brains that she’s been playing them all along.

“I can’t believe your ex-girlfriend gassed us”, Randall protested.

Hamish felt Tundra urging him to move and he understood why his hide is acting like that.

“We need to find Vera”, he muttered.

“So she can kick both of our asses? No way. She specifically told you to bring Cassie in. How do you think she’ll react if we tell her we had Cassie in the same room with us and we ended up being gassed?” Randall disagreed.

He turned to him.

“Listen. Cassie knew we will be coming here. She got this room prepared and left us here for hours. Why?”

Randall thought about it for a moment. What does Cassie wants?

“Shit. She’s going to Vera, isn’t she? She’s going to get the Fors Factoram and she needed us out of the way”, he realized.

“Let’s go”, Hamish said.

\----------------------------------

When they reached Jack, Alyssa, and Lilith on campus grounds, they saw the three struggling to contain a small eruption that’s threatening to destroy the school’s garden.

“Is that what eruption looks like?” Randall asked.

“It looks cute now but believe me it does not when it grows the size of Belgrave”, Lilith answered.

It took ten more minutes of chanting before the small eruption dissipates.

“That was intense”, Jack muttered.

“Anyone saw Vera?” Hamish asked.

They all looked at each other. No one had seen her since Jack left the temple and they had been busy with dealing with the minor eruptions that appeared throughout the campus.

“Anyone hear that?” Randall muttered.

They went quiet and heard the ringing coming from inside the campus before they started rushing inside the building.

\----------------------------------

It was like slow motion in Hamish’s eyes. He felt Vera’s familiar wave of magic radiating off of her. Her green eyes are shining brightly as well as the runes on her arms and neck. Then, with a wave of her hand, Cassie flew from where she’s standing and slammed so hard against the metal lockers. Hamish heard the loud cracking sound of her neck breaking before her body hits the floor, once again, lifeless. It almost feel like a déjà vu. He had seen Cassie’s dead body before. The only difference now is her death was caused by Vera.

“Vera…what have you done?” was the first thing that came out of his mouth.

Vera looked at him with her green orbs, still panting from the rush of magic that surged within her body. She looked stunned. He’s not sure whether it’s because of Cassie’s death or being caught by him, still, she looked shocked. He went beside Cassie’s dead body and his hand shook.

“What did you do, Vera?” he repeated.

“She…she attacked me”, he heard her say but it did not quell anything in him.

A part of him knew that before going inside the building. The ringing felt different and he’s certain it was not Vera’s magic that’s causing the ringing but what he saw defeated what he heard. It brought back all those memories he buried years ago. He watched Cassie died again and he was unable to do anything.

“Hamish—”

“You killed her!” he yelled.

“Dude, she didn’t meant to”, Jack tried to intervene but Hamish glared at him with his silver eyes.

“I was only trying to make her stop attacking me. I did not mean to kill her”, Vera explained.

Hamish scoffed and laughed as he shook his head. His brain is being flooded with images of Cassie’s body both then and now. Anger is kicking rationality out of his mind and he knows he should stop talking now before he regrets saying anything to Vera but it’s too late. His temper already got the best of him.

“Yeah…just like you did not mean to kill _him_ , right?” he snapped.

He saw Vera stiffened. He knew she got what he meant. The runes on her body disappeared and her eyes returned to normal. It was then he was able to see her as Vera again and guilt came in crashing in his chest.

“Hamish, what the hell?” Lilith protested in Vera’s behalf.

The silver rings disappeared from his eyes and before he can say anything to Vera, she’s already walking away from them without looking back. He can hear Lilith yelling at him to follow her, to take it all back but he’s rooted. He cannot move away from Cassie’s dead body. Their voices became muffled to his ears. He is aware there’s no blood on Cassie’s body right now but he knows she’s dead…again. He felt like he could have prevented it. He could have done something else to prevent all of this and yet again, he failed. He did not only fail Cassie. He also failed Vera.

A hard slap on his face pulled him out of his depressive thoughts. Lilith is now kneeling in front of him.

“Are you just going to mope here until the students come in? We need to clean this up so get moving!” she exclaimed.

Randall pulled him away from Cassie’s body as Jack carried her in his arms and they all left the building.

\------------------------------------

_He will always choose me…_

Cassie’s voice rang in her ears loud and clear. She was right. He will always choose her no matter what. She’s his first love after all. Vera felt so foolish to believe that she can outweigh Cassie in his heart. She tried to explain but he did not believe her. In his eyes, she’s a murderer. He pointed it out. She killed Garrett with her bare hands right? Maybe she is really a monster.

Her first instinct is to go home but she felt open in there and she got so much memories with Hamish in her house so she went to the temple instead. Her vault would be a safe option to hide from the world so she went there. Maybe she can stay there for the night or another day just to collect herself, allow herself to cry and accept that she and Hamish are over now. He will hate her forever for what she did, intentional or not. He will always choose Cassie. He had chosen her.

“Hello, Grand Magus”,

Vera turned around quickly, startled by the unexpected voice, before she felt the pain on her torso. Her eyes landed on the short woman in front of her before seeing the knife she’s holding against her body.

“I hope you don’t mind. I took the liberty to look around. I did not find what I was looking for but I will. It would be best though if you’re out of the way”, the woman said before pulling out the knife from her body leaving Vera to gasp and fell on the floor.

She saw the woman walked away freely from her vault. She can feel her own blood leaking out of her body. Her hands navigate to find the source and tried to heal it but she only cried in pain. _Enchanted blade_. Healing spells are not going to work on it. She started panicking. If she cannot heal it, she’s going to die down in her vault without anyone knowing it. Her first thought is to call Hamish but then again, the man hates her. Telling him she’s dying might cause him to jump in joy.

Vera crawled her way to the altar but only made it a few inches short to her destination before her vision darkened and she passed out.

While unconscious, the runes on her skin reappeared and it made the altar glowed just like before. The light spreads from the altar down to the floor as it crawled to the walls turning the entire vault in one shining room. The light accentuated the hidden runes secretly carved throughout the vault. The wall to which the dark spell books are hidden suddenly opened. A black smoke came out of the shelf which slowly crawled down the floor all the way to Vera’s unconscious form. Then, the black smoke entered her body and healed her stab wound.

\-------------------------------------

DEN

Cassie has been buried the second time around before Hamish decided to raid his bar. Randall watched helplessly as his friend beat himself up for Cassie’s death once again just like what he did years ago.

“We couldn’t find her”, Jack announced when he returned along with Alyssa and Lilith.

They went out to search for Vera after Cassie’s burial.

“Not anywhere?” Randall asked.

“Nope. She’s not in her house nor the temple. I have no idea where she could have gone”, Lilith answered before snatching the bottle away from Hamish who growled at her. “Go ahead and try me, Hamish. I am not going to let you screw up any further than you already have”, she growled back.

Alyssa handed Hamish her phone.

“What’s this?” he asked.

“I went back to the campus and copied the CCTV footage at the hallway before deleting it. I think you should see it for yourself so things will be clear”, she answered.

Of course, Belgrave got cameras everywhere. It was discussed during one of the board meetings to ensure the safety of the students. It was implemented after the students started getting hurt because of the rogue practitioners who used their magic in open and injured the others. Hamish opened the video file and sat down.

He could not believe what he’s seeing. One minute Vera is seen talking to Ms. Farrow and the next, it’s Cassie.

“Wait. Cassie is Ms. Farrow? I don’t understand”, Randall muttered in disbelief.

“I don’t think she’s been Ms. Farrow for too long. We went to Ms. Farrow’s house earlier and found her gagged and tied up in her basement. We already powdered her and healed her so she’ll be fine”, Jack explained.

The video went on with Cassie openly attacking Vera with spells. Hamish couldn’t count how many times Cassie hit Vera with magic before Vera had enough and hit back. Thanks to their sense of hearing, they were able to hear the faint sound of Vera’s voice telling Cassie to walk away while she still can but Cassie refused. Hamish continued to watch as he cruelly yelled at Jack and snapped at Vera. Lilith grabbed the phone away from him to stop him from drowning with guilt.

“Oh god…” Hamish buried his face in his hands.

How can he say that to Vera? She was only defending herself and he let himself be swallowed by his past trauma. He let Cassie’s death in the past clouded his mind and he poured his frustration and anger on Vera.

“We need to find her”, he said.

“Glad you came to your senses”, Lilith replied.

\----------------------------------

TEMPLE

When they entered the temple to search for Vera, they were surprised at the sight that greeted them. The temple was trashed. Everything was broken. All the ingredients were destroyed. The bar was destroyed. It’s like a hurricane came in and ruined everything.

“What the hell happened here?” Alyssa muttered.

“Vera!” Hamish started yelling throughout the temple but she’s nowhere to be found.

He was about to enter the vault when a loud ringing hurt their ears. They all looked at each other and knew something big happened outside. They all hurried outside the temple and saw one massive Tartarus eruption on top Belgrave.

“Oh, come on…now, we’re screwed…” Randall muttered as they stared at the thing that can remove the entire Norwich off the map in a flash along with everyone living in it.


	20. White Hair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> got a lot of strong responses about Hamish last chapter...all i can say is the man has a lot of issues and sometimes even the clever one do stupid things to so, let's see how he makes up for it.

TEMPLE’S VAULT

Vera came to gasping for air. As she shot her eyes opened, she was greeted by blinding light inside the vault. The runes that were on her skin were the same ones that’s on the walls and the floor. Her hand landed on the spot where she was stabbed and found no open wound or closed.

“What?” she muttered in disbelief.

She can remember being stabbed by an enchanted blade she couldn’t heal before she passed out and now there’s no trace of it on her body. Her eyes found the hidden bookshelf on the wall wide open. Vera remembered the woman who stabbed her. She might have found it while searching her vault for Fors Factoram. No. Before she passed out, the shelf was not open. Her analyzation of the things that happened before and after she went unconscious was interrupted by the wave of force she felt coming from outside the temple.

\-----------------------------------

OUTSIDE THE TEMPLE

“Come on, guys! Just close the blue thing up!” Randall yelled in panic.

Lilith and Alyssa glared at him.

“If you’re helping, we might be able to do this faster!” Lilith snapped.

The sun is already rising which means any moment, students will be flooding the campus which is a few walks away from the temple.

Jack rubbed his hands together as he concentrates before joining the two in closing the eruption but it’s too big for them. Randall copied what Jack did but before Hamish could do the same, he felt a familiar magic coming out of the temple. It’s not the same one he’s accustomed to. It’s the same magic both him and Tundra both disprove of. There’s only one kind of magic that made them both feel like that.

Vera came out of the temple, eyes not green but gold, runes beaming on her skin. With one wave of her hand, she sent all of them aside and focused her arms towards the eruption that’s threatening to wipe off Norwich from the map. Her eyes glowed as the eruption grew smaller and smaller until it dissolved into thin air.

The Knights and Alyssa got back on their feet marveling at what Vera just did.

“Wow, you closed an eruption that big. I mean, that was amazing, Grand Magus”, Alyssa complimented.

Vera turned to face them with her golden eyes and they all almost gasped.

“Vera, your hair”, Jack pointed out.

A portion of her hair had turned white. She let her fingers glide through it for a moment before her eyes met Hamish’s. The gold in her eyes disappeared and her runes subsided. In a flash, everything that happened before she got stabbed came back to her. She recalled how he looked at her after seeing her killed Cassie. The look of lost and confusion before anger settled into those eyes as he looked at her.

Hamish saw the defeat in her now blue eyes when she saw him and he knows it’s all because of everything he said to her and how badly he reacted. He hurt her and he can see it in her eyes.

“Vera—”

“I’m fine”, she turned to others, “Any of you find out who did the spell that causes this eruption?” she asked.

Lilith was the first one to recover.

“No. We came here looking for you and the entire temple was trashed. When we got out of here, the eruption was already hanging up there”, she answered.

Vera’s eyes lit up and flashed gold a few times before she hummed.

“Whoever did that is no longer around here. Go back to your house. I’ll handle this”, she said and walked towards the temple.

\-------------------------------------

TEMPLE

Hamish ran after her inside and found her magicking the mess away and restoring the entire temple back to its prime. Tundra is being agitated inside him. He can feel the dark magic coming from her and he does not understand why she has it inside her when that kind of magic should be inside one of those damn books.

“Can we talk?” he asked as he entered her office panting.

“I don’t think there’s anything to talk about”, she answered.

She’s not angry. No. He knows her tone when she’s angry. This is her sad and hurt. This is what he’s done.

“I’m sorry”, she stopped moving. “I shouldn’t have said what I said nor blame you from what happened. There’s no excuse for the way I handled things, the situation, Cassie. I’m an idiot. I’m sorry for hurting you. I know it’s not the same thing with Garrett and I shouldn’t have brought it up. I was angry last night but I was not angry with you”,

She turned to face him.

“I was angry at Cassie for throwing away her second chance at life. That’s why I was trying to keep her from facing you. It’s not that I don’t trust you to handle things. It’s just that I knew her and how her impulses were. Her life was taken abruptly the first time and I thought that this time, she can have a longer time on earth. It’s not because I love her still or choosing her over you. I was just trying to help, to make up for the last time”,

“You did not fail her the first time. There was nothing you could have done”, she muttered.

“I know that but I couldn’t help but feel guilty about it, about me surviving and not her. I feel like I owe it to her to help her get a second chance. We went there to talk to her, get the information we need and then hopefully persuade her to leave and go start somewhere. Be normal. Graduate. I was so angry at her for wasting that chance and forcing you to do just that. My problem was, I was so angry but she’s dead so I couldn’t pour my anger into her so instead, I displaced my anger to you which was unfair and uncalled for and for that I am so sorry”, he apologized.

_He will always choose me…_

Cassie’s voice is back again in her head.

“You kissed her”, she reminded him.

“…not one of my brightest moment. For someone they branded as the clever one, I failed living up to it in that moment”, he replied.

He does not want to make excuses anymore. He wants to take responsibility for his stupid actions. Actions that might cause him the woman that he loves, the woman he had hurt so bad.

“Hamish, I understand your past. I understand you and Cassie. I even saw a glimpse of what you endured after she died the first time so I know. I can forgive you and I do even before you came here asking for it. That’s my problem, Hamish. I will always forgive you…but I don’t think I will get past this soon. This one went very deep. It will take time to heal”, she responded.

Hamish tried to blink away the tears that’s threatening to fall down his face. He knows where she’s getting at and he knows he deserves it.

“I am willing to wait. No matter how long it takes”, he said.

She smiled sadly. She hopes it’s not going to take forever for her to heal from this one because losing him is something she cannot bear but giving them some space might help her deal with the wound she got.

“Thank you”, she replied.

Hamish can contend for now that she had forgiven him for his foolishness. It’s not a door closing on his face. It’s a break, a time-out, for them to breathe and gather themselves. One thing he knows for sure is that he will never be too far away from her. He can’t be far away from her.

In the midst of his thoughts, his sense of smell caught something.

“Vera, are you hurt?” he asked.

She frowned at him.

“What? No. Why?” she answered then asked him back.

She was not able to step back when he advanced on her, invading that space she just asked of him. She was about to remind him of it when his hands ran over her dress. She felt his finger brushed her skin through that little cut on the fabric caused by that knife.

“Tell me”, he gritted between his teeth and she’s sure she heard a growl under his breath.

She sighed.

“I was down the vault to cool down after what happened and I did not think— I was caught off-guard by someone, a woman. She stabbed him with an enchanted blade and left. She was looking also for the Fors Factoram but did not find it down there. I tried to heal it but I couldn’t since it’s enchanted and I blacked out”, she narrated.

He’s confused.

“Okay, so if you didn’t heal it, how come it’s healed?” he asked.

“I was wondering about the same thing”, she muttered.

“What were you trying to do before you passed out?” he followed up.

It’s like memory backtracking. Vera thought about it hard.

“I was crawling towards the altar, hoping I could tap into the power of the Vade Maecum with it since I was too disoriented to concentrate myself but I did not reach it and—”

“…and?”

“…when I woke up, the entire vault is glowing. The runes I got from the grimoire were all over it”, she continued.

Hamish was already running down the vault. Vera managed to catch up with him inside the room and yes, the vault is still glowing.

He first saw the dried blood on the floor and knew it was hers. She was lying there, bleeding to death, while he was busy moping around the Den raiding his bar.

“Stop that”, she scolded.

“I did not say anything”, he said.

“I can hear you thinking”, she replied.

They walked a few steps until Hamish stopped in his tracks. Tundra is literally trashing inside.

“Why is that open?” he asked in horror.

“Oh…” she waved it closed and the glowing of the vault stopped. “I woke up and it’s like that. I am sure the woman did not find it. I just can’t remember why it’s open”, she answered.

She stared at him as fear crept up in his features.

“Your last thoughts were to heal yourself, right? To have the power to heal it”, she nodded, “Is it possible that the magic in you called for something powerful to do it for you because you can’t access the Vade Maecum’s power when you’re out?” he asked again.

She had not thought of it that way earlier but then again, she woke up disoriented and had to close a large eruption outside her temple. She didn’t have time to contemplate on it.

“Could be…what else in this room could my magic summoned that’s more powerful than the Vade Maecum?” the look on his face already informed her of the answer, “No. I don’t feel any different. I am still me. Nothing is pulling me under like when I did the tracking spell. I am fine”, she answered.

His eyes flashed in silver before he focused on reigning Tundra in.

“Tundra and I can sense the dark magic in you just like what we sensed when you opened that shelf and used that book”, he said.

She’s not one to contest werewolf’s ability to detect magic or sense it. The theory is not that impossible. Magic sometimes works subconsciously and her will to get healed earlier was strong, maybe too strong. Unconsciously, she touched her few white hairs.

“That could be true but I feel fine for now. Let’s get that woman and other members of Praxis and then we can worry about what this would entail”, she decided, hiding her own fear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the white hair part I kinda based on Ginger Snaps when Ginger's hair is slowly turning white but put it on Vera's hair because Vera got more of a straight and healthy looking hair than Ginger.


	21. Failsafe

Finding the woman who stabbed Vera is the Knights’ top priority while Vera worked on preventing more eruptions from causing damage all over Norwich. A few of her Temple Magi had called her about eruption sightings in their chapters. Though they’re minor eruptions, it’s alarming how it spreads across the globe. The Temple Magi assured her that they will let her know in case the eruptions get too big for them to handle. In Norwich, the sizes of the eruptions are almost as big as the one she closed in front of her temple.

It worries Hamish deeply. He knows how much magic she uses each time she closed an eruption and each time, more strands of her hair turn white. Even if the others don’t say it, they are worried about her too. Alyssa once told him that she found Vera leaning over the wall one day panting after closing another eruption.

“Hamish!” Randall called as soon as he entered the Den.

“What is it? What’s the problem?” he asked.

“We found who stabbed Vera”, he answered.

Jack handed him his phone and showed a photo of a woman that almost looked familiar.

“Her name is Salvador Grant. She’s new to Belgrave, applied as Ms. Farrow’s TA. See the connection?” Jack said.

Hamish did.

“Salvador must have found out about Ms. Farrow and I back in the day, put Cassie in her place to get close”, Hamish concluded.

Lilith came from the kitchen.

“So, are we raiding her place or not?” she asked.

“I was thinking we’re formulating a plan. I mean, if she was able to catch Vera by surprise like that, she must have been something, right?” Randall answered.

Something is odd though. Not all can just go inside Vera’s vault effortlessly. Plus, Vera had put enchantments all over the temple to protect it from the outside. Salvador wouldn’t be able to get in through the front door.

“She was there”, he muttered.

“Sorry, what’s that?” Jack asked.

“Salvador Grant…she was there that day when we recovered the inventory. That’s how she got inside the vault. When we transported the inventory with a spell sending it straight to the vault, she went along with it”, it all made sense. “She caught Vera by surprise because Vera wouldn’t have thought that there will be intruders in her vault that’s full of protective enchantments”, he added.

“That’s why Cassie let us go easily with everything. It’s planned”, Lilith muttered.

Hamish stared more on the picture and decided the next step.

“We pay her place a visit. Lil, you’re in charge in sensing any magic traps and we take care of any traps not magic related. Even if she’s not there, we need to find out more about this woman”, he instructed.

\-----------------------------------

TEMPLE

Vera is sure that the woman who stabbed her is causing eruptions on purpose. She may be aware by now that she’s alive and forcing her hand to give up Fors Factoram and causing eruptions deliberately is that woman’s way of pressuring her. She caught a glimpse of herself through the mirror and she almost looked like Cruella De Ville now. Her hair on the right side is white and the left is black. It’s a good fashion style and some of the disciples told her it looks good on her but she’s worried about what it means. She has no idea what will happen to her with the dark magic healing her body. Everything has a catch. She’s just waiting to find out what’s hers.

“Grand Magus! There’s another one in the woods!” one of her disciples yelled in panic.

She almost groaned at that. She’s getting tired and sick of closing eruptions.

\----------------------------------

SALVADOR GRANT’S HOUSE

From the outside, the house looked so ordinary that is until you get to see inside. The walls are literally covered with clippings about magic and the Order. The disciples, councilors, their faces and Vera’s were plastered on the walls. Salvador knew them all down to newest recruits. She knows their routines, who’s dating who, favorite coffee shops, everything. She’s been watching them for a long time and yes, her only goal is to get the Fors Factoram Incantation. She got the picture of the Vade Maecum Infernal on the wall and she’s not even interested in it. Probably because she’s aware that to bond with it, she’ll need to sacrifice a child of hers which she does not have.

“I have to say, this is, uh, this is creepy”, Randall muttered.

“Yeah…seeing everything I do for a day on someone else’s wall is beyond creepy. She’s a total stalker”, Lilith seconded.

Hamish lifted a photograph from the desk. It’s a picture of a young Salvador and an old man. They both look so happy and he’s guess is that they’re related somehow. He flipped the photo and saw names written on the back.

_Grafton Davis with his daughter Salvador fishing_

He almost stopped breathing. All those reading the Knights’ journals had paid off.

“I think I know what makes Salvador Grant special and dangerous foe”, the others turned to him and he showed the photo to them, “That’s Grafton Davis, Salvador’s father”, he said.

“So?” Jack asked.

“Grafton Davis was the last known champion of Alpha”, Hamish answered.

Both Randall and Lilith frowned at him.

“Alpha? No one has seen Alpha in years”, Lilith pointed out.

“Yes, that’s because Grafton took off. Now, his daughter is back in Norwich, formed Praxis, attacked Vera, and no doubt practicing magic and necromancy. All of those things wouldn’t be enough to power up that huge eruption outside the temple. Her magic has to be backed up by another source of power”, Hamish explained.

“Alpha’s strength…” Randall supplied.

If Salvador happened to be Alpha’s new champion, she’s going to be more dangerous than they initially thought. Whatever her reasons are for doing all of these, they will only know when they find her but how are they going to find someone who’s obviously a master of being invisible?

“Guys, Alyssa just texted me. There’s another massive eruption in the woods. Vera is already there to close it”, Jack informed them.

Hamish found a piece of paper inside the drawer. It’s an old incantation that Tundra translated for him. A spell to open portal between realms. He got confused and in a flash, his alarm bells went crazy.

“Why the woods? You don’t do big spells causing eruption in the middle of the woods. What’d you do? Make trees explode?” Randall asked.

“No. It’s a lure. Salvador is there waiting for Vera”, Hamish said.

“Well, that’s a poor plan. Vera will eat her alive even if she’s Alpha”, Lilith said confidently.

Hamish held the paper in front of them.

“This spell opens up portals to another realm. My gut tells me Salvador already performed this but not yet on effect. It’s a failsafe”, he explained.

“If Vera kills her, that spell will cause Tartarus eruption big enough to cause an apocalypse”, Jack realized.

\------------------------------------

WOODS

It’s a massive eruption indeed. It’s the same size if not bigger from the one she closed outside of the temple. It could be the same woman who intruded her vault and stabbed her. She had sent her disciples away just in case she fails to close the eruption. She wouldn’t want to risk the others getting hurt too. When she got closer to it, her eyes started glowing in gold and runes burned through her skin. She let the power in her to come through as she stretched her arms forward towards the eruption. Though it’s bigger than before, she was able to close it within the same time frame as she did the first one. A portion of her hair on the left side of her head turned into white when she’s done.

“Impressive. I’ve never seen anyone possess that much power but you do”, Salvador said.

Vera turned around carefully this time. She learned the hard way last time they crossed paths. Getting stabbed hurts like hell.

“So, it was you who caused this…”

“Salvador Grant. Pleasure to meet you, Grand Magus”, she greeted.

“We’ve met. You stabbed me, remember?” Vera hissed.

“…and I would like to apologize for that. That was impulsive of me. You killed Cassie however”, Salvador pointed out.

Vera’s jaw clenched.

“I am sure you have foreseen that. Isn’t it why you had her luring me out of the temple to distract me inside the campus while you trash my temple?” she asked.

Salvador smirked.

“I like you. You’re smart. Since you’re smart, you also know that these eruptions will only grow bigger and bigger until your power wouldn’t be enough to close it”, she remarked.

Vera knows that as well.

“This is the part where you’re going to set the condition of stopping causing the eruptions if I give you the Fors Factoram Incantation”, she guessed.

“Exactly…it should be an easy choice. I couldn’t believe it at first when I saw you out of the temple. You should be dead after I stabbed you with that blade but you’re not which can only mean one thing. You have performed it yourself. I was looking for it in places when I should have just come to you”, Salvador affirmed.

As much as Vera wants to believe it’s the Fors Factoram that healed her, it’s not true. She tried. She even tried to use the power she got from the Vade Maecum. It’s something else.

“As much as I would like to let you turn yourself into a sacrifice after performing it, I can’t let you persuade others to join your crusade and die as well because of that incantation”,

“So you will just hoard the magic just like all those who came before you?” Salvador asked.

“…and what would you do with all the power that the incantation comes along with? Cure the sick? Change the world? I doubt it. You want more than that. Look at you now. You don’t have it yet and you’re ready to set the world on fire just to get what you want”, Vera argued.

Salvador’s smile vanished.

“The fate of the world is not resting on my hands, Grand Magus. It’s resting on yours. You have the power to stop the eruptions and you’re choosing not to because of your greed! What I offer is simple. Give me the incantation or the apocalypse”, she proposed.

In that moment that Vera realized who Salvador reminds her of. Edward Coventry. Their vision of changing the world, healing everyone, it’s all the same. It’s a wonderful dream. The problem is to achieve that dream Edward wanted to erase everything and shape the world in his image. It’s why Salvador wants the Fors Factoram. She knows it will kill her but before she dies, she’s going to take the world down with her and reshape it to fit her vision. That would explain her reckless attempts to set massive eruptions.

“I would rather watch the world burn”, Vera replied.

Salvador’s eyes lit up in silver which surprised Vera.

“The Knights are not the only ones who can turn into a giant wolf”, she growled.

“I see that”, Vera muttered.

She made a mental note to ask Hamish later about this another wolf. Her magic flared up at the threat and she can feel the burn of the power rushing through her veins and it’s feeding on her strength. Aside from that, she felt something else. She felt pleasure. It’s hard to describe the sensation. It’s intoxicating. For days, she’s been using this power to close eruptions and all she felt was exhaustion. This is what she preferred more. She pushed it further and the rush of magic intensifies. A whimper escaped her lips.

Her haze was interrupted by a loud growl in front of her. She glared at the big wolf who’s now charging towards her.

“Vera, wait!” Hamish yelled from a far but it’s too late.

She pulled her magic from within and slammed it onto the wolf that is about to kill her. Alpha stopped in midair, claws ready to tear her apart. Vera smirked.

“Stop, Vera! It’s a trap!” Vera’s magic pushed him away.

She’s in too deep. Power is consuming her as what’s left of her black locks turned white. The wolf cried in pain. Vera’s eyes focused on the creature forcing it to cave in. It fought hard but soon, it was defeated and Salvador resurfaced with her burnt skin. She screamed in agony before Vera sets her on fire until she turned into ash fast.

The wind suddenly stopped around them. Sky darkened. Blue ball of light gradually formed in the sky. Tartarus eruption big enough to wipe the earth completely.


	22. Nyx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cried writing this chapter...literally. I don't know if it's because of what i wrote or my own stuff but consider this a warning. It's quite heavy.

Even with the Tartarus eruption above them that’s threatening to destroy the world, Hamish’s attention is solely focused on Vera. She drastically changed from the last time he saw her just two days before. He had informed her of their progress in tracking Praxis members and at that point, she only got few parts of her hair that’s white. Now, she’s full on platinum blonde. The gold in her eyes won’t disappear. The runes all over her body won’t subside.

“How are we going to stop that?” Randall asked.

“I can’t believe we’re finally screwed”, Lilith breathed out.

It was Tundra who held him back from approaching Vera. She’s burning with dark magic and she does not look so bothered by it. In fact, she looks like she enjoys it very much.

“We can do this. We combine our magic and try”, Jack encourages everyone even though his own fear is evident in his voice.

Alyssa had arrived as well to help but even she knows that the eruption as big as that is way beyond her limits.

“You’re not doing anything. I will”, Vera muttered.

She’s already stepping forward and Hamish tried to fight Tundra so he can reach her and stop her but his hide is so much stronger than him. His rational brain is telling him that he will not be able to stop Vera anyway. She’s way more powerful than him but he needs to try and reason with her, to pull her back a little, bring herself to the surface.

Vera opened up her arms wide and let her magic out freely that they had to step back while Alyssa barricaded them with a barrier before Vera’s magic can hurt them. Slowly, her feet got separated from the ground and she rose through the air leveling with the eruption. It baffles everyone to see her floating in the air side by side with the apocalypse. It was a threatening image. Then, Vera unleashed her power towards the eruption like a powerful fire hose fighting a ball of flame. The runes are now extending towards her face, her gold eyes are darkening as she succumbs further into the darkness. She should be scared at the odds she’s fighting but she’s having fun with it. Digging in deeper for all she got, she poured it all into the eruption and the burst that spreads throughout the globe is nothing but the wind that stopped swirling due to the eruption.

She stayed up there for a moment staring at the world she just saved and she wondered. Is it even worth saving? Perhaps, Salvador and Edward were right. Maybe the world needs changing.

Hamish allowed himself to breathe when Vera’s feet touched the ground. Alyssa had removed the barrier around them and he immediately rushed towards her but stopped short when she gazed at him with complete emptiness. Tundra once again wailed inside.

“Vera”, he uttered.

“This world used to be so much better a few lifetimes ago. I’ve been away for so long and people had forgotten what it’s like to know fear, to face my wrath for their foolish deeds. Now, look at what they’ve done. They turned this world into a stinking planet. What a waste…”

“Who are you?” he asked.

Clearly, he’s not talking to Vera right now.

“Who am I?” she laughed, “For a creature of darkness, you have forgotten who I am! I am the night. I am all things they fear in the dark. I bring fear even to Zeus”, she answered.

Alyssa’s breath almost left her body as she figured it out who’s talking in Vera’s body.

“Nyx…” the woman turned to her, “You’re Nyx, the Goddess of the Night”, she muttered.

“Ah…see? Even a mere mortal knows who I am!” she exclaimed.

Hamish’s fists clenched.

“What have you done with Vera?” he asked again.

“Well, I saved her life. She asked for it. Technically, her magic did but I answered nonetheless. My generosity extended her life. I felt that she has a purpose. Who else would have that much will to survive if not for a purpose? Then, I found out her purpose is to save this wretched world. Now, you can imagine my disappointment”, she answered.

“You healed her. Why are you in her body?” Jack asked.

“I was curious. Tartarus is starting to bore me and I decided to take a peek through her eyes. For such a powerful being, she seems to ground herself just for you”, he felt a sting in his chest, “Power always has a price. She fought it off for as long as she could. My daughters were impressed. You see, they were quite hungry for death but this woman was strong to resist the urge. She likes the power, yes, but not to the point that she will do anything to hurt you”,

“Wait. Earlier up there, that was her? That was Vera still?” Lilith asked.

“…and me. I couldn’t miss it for the cosmos. Although, I had to step in before my daughters can have their fun. They despise this planet so much and she’s not strong enough to fight them any longer. She has sunk into the depths of her power. It will be hell to pull her out”, Nyx answered.

Hamish realized that Nyx is not there to fight nor to hurt anyone. She helped Vera and them by keeping her daughters at bay, to stop them from using Vera into wreaking havoc into the world.

“Tell me how and I will do it”, he said with determination.

“It’s going to cost you a lot. I’m afraid”, she replied.

“I don’t care. I just want her back”, he insisted.

The Knights and Alyssa turned to him. They are afraid of what it’s going to cost him to save Vera.

“There’s a reason why a creature of darkness was placed here to hunt and kill evil. It means you can stop it”, Hamish allowed that to sink in his brain, “That’s all I can give you. I am not meant to interfere in the first place. Clock is ticking”, Nyx hinted before they saw Vera returned to herself for a brief moment.

She’s there but something else too.

“Vera?” Hamish asked and he was only met with a blast of magic that hits his chest and knocked him out.

\----------------------------------

COLLECTIVE UNCONSCIOUS

Hamish woke up gasping for air as he clutched his chest. That hurts a lot and he can still feel it. Did Vera just attack him with a spell? Is he dead? No one’s around other than him. Where are the others?

“Get up!”

The loud growl startled him and prompted him to get on his feet. Tundra is now standing in front of him.

“I’m in the Collective Unconscious, ain’t I?” he asked.

Tundra growled at him.

“I can’t stay here. We can’t stay here. Vera needs us”,

“What do you think I’ve been trying to do ever since her hair turned white?! Every time I tried, you shut me down and forced me deep. I tried pulling you here and you refused”,

“You know how to free Vera from Nyx’s daughters?” Hamish asked.

“Those daughters are called the Keres, death-spirits, they were goddesses of violent death. They don’t have the power to kill themselves but they can push someone to do it. Right now, they’ve chosen Vera to be it and who knows how many Vera can take down along with her”, Tundra answered.

“Can we help her?” Hamish asked.

“…not _‘we’_ , I can”, Hamish frowned. “I have to separate from you in order to pull the Keres out of her and dragged them to where they came from. Only darkness can snuff out darkness. It’s why we’re here. It will not kill you but if you get hurt while I was away, you will not heal and you will die”, Tundra explained.

The cost…it’s what Nyx said.

“Do it. Get those things out of her and save her. Save everyone. We’ve seen what Vera did earlier. She closed that eruption like it was nothing. If she has the power to stop an apocalypse, she also has the power to start one”, Hamish replied.

“Understood. My champion…do me a favor and hang on while I’m gone. I have no intention in getting accustomed to another champion again”, Tundra said.

\------------------------------------

WOODS

“Hamish! Hamish! Wake up! We need your help!”

Once again, he opened his eyes gasping for air. The wind is blowing harshly around them and he can hear the others struggling.

“Oh god…we thought you’re dead”, Randall exclaimed.

“Where’s Vera?” he asked.

Randall does not need to answer that. Hamish turned to his left and saw Vera with her arms opened wide, surrounded by magic.

“We don’t know what happened. She just started doing that and then the ground shook. We heard screaming from afar. We think she’s destroying the world”, Randall explained.

It’s not her. It’s the Keres influencing her to do so. Hamish got up and tried to walk towards her. When he’s near enough, he felt the sting of her magic but it healed. He kept on going until he can finally touch her.

“It’s too late”, she muttered in a triple voice.

“Didn’t you teach me neve to give up until all options had been exhausted? That’s what I’m doing”, he responded.

He felt Tundra questioning him if he’s sure. He sent his affirmation before he felt his hide left his body. Vera’s eyes widened in shock when her magic started hurting Hamish. He’s not healing like before.

“What’s happening? What did you do?” she asked before she felt something clawed her back.

Vera screamed in pain as Tundra pulled out the Keres from her body. She would have fallen down but Hamish caught her and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight as she cries in agony. He barely feels his own pain. In his mind, it will be alright. She’s going to be okay. She’s going to be herself and she’s going to do a lot of good things. It will all be worth it. Tundra managed to successfully pull out the Keres from her body and quickly moved to send them back somewhere.

Vera stopped shaking as her magic stopped tearing the planet apart. Hamish remained in his place, holding her, but he’s weak. She blinked a few times before realizing something. Hamish.

“Hamish?” she pulled away a little to look at him but he fell on the ground. “Hamish! Hamish! What— what’s happening? Why isn’t he healing?” she asked the others who are staring at them in complete shock.

“I think…Tundra left his body to get whatever that was that’s inside you”, Jack answered.

She gasped. If he’s without a hide, there’s no way he’s going to heal on his own. She started working frantically in healing him but he’s been hurt by her own magic. It’s working but it’s taking a while to do so and he’s running out of time.

“Come on, Hamish. Don’t you dare quit on me now…you said you’re going to wait! You said you’re going to wait no matter how long it takes! Don’t do this…don’t break another promise again…” she exclaimed as she continued on healing him.

He’s barely breathing by the time she was able to heal all of his injuries but he remains unconscious. Vera does not know what to do. Tundra has not come back yet. _This is not happening_ , she thought. She’s about to lose another person in her life and she’s powerless to do anything. She got all the power in the world and she couldn’t do anything!

Wait…that’s wrong. She can do just about anything.

“You’re not dying, not if I can help it”, she muttered and placed both hands over his chest.

The runes on her skin reappeared and her eyes lit up in green. Her magic worked to save her life even when she’s out. Her strong will to survive made it happen. Well, her will to have Hamish survive is way stronger than her will to survive herself. This should work. She felt her magic flowed from her body to Hamish. It envelopes her, filling her up completely as she focused her entire being on one goal: _save Hamish_.

She did not hear Jack yelling her to stop nor the fact that Tundra finally came back and entered Hamish’s body. All she knows is that he needs to be alive. He needs to be in this world. She needs him in her life because she loves him so much. With that admission, she finally let go hoping that’s enough to save him before unconsciousness pulled her under.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nyx is from Greek Mythology as well as the Keres. I just twisted a few things about the Keres to fit the chapter. It also made sense why Tundra always feel so agitated when the dark magic book was around or when Vera has that power in her. For the part where Hamish hugged Vera while Tundra was pulling the Keres out, I sort of envisioned the scene in xmen 3 with Logan fighting to get to Jean Grey and she asked him to kill her. I threw that in and twisted it.


	23. Group Hug

VERA’S HOUSE

Hamish woke up for the third time gasping for air. It’s still fresh in his head how it felt when Tundra left his body and got slammed by Vera’s magic. He felt his strength depleting as he listened to her screaming. He’s in pain and so was she but all that mattered to him was to ease hers by holding her tight.

_Vera…_

He’s about to panic when Jack stopped him and set him back to mattress. He noticed now that he’s in Vera’s bedroom. There’s a mattress on the floor where he was laying onto earlier. He recognized it as the mattress on Vera’s guestroom.

“She’s alright. She’s still sleeping”, Jack whispered.

Hamish glanced over to the bed and saw Vera sleeping peacefully. _She’s alive_ , he thought. It worked somehow although he can’t remember much.

“Is she going to be okay? Did Tundra succeed?” he found himself asking.

“Yes, I think she’ll be fine. We had to grab her away from you though after you passed out”, Jack answered.

Hamish frowned.

“Why? What happened?” he asked again.

“She…well, we all thought you’re going to die. Tundra took some time to get back and your body took a lot of damage from Vera’s magic. She was trying to heal you but it’s not as fast as she would have like. When she’s done healing your body and you still wouldn’t wake up, she panicked. We’re not sure what happened or what she did but she used so much magic on you. We saw her runes crawled into you and when Tundra got back, she kept on going. It’s like she’s not even aware your hide was back. She couldn’t hear us yelling her to let go so Lilith had to pull her away”,

They both stared at her sleeping form.

“I guess that one took a lot from her because she has not woken up yet since we brought you here”, Jack answered.

Jack had left them alone for a moment so he can get some rest too. The Knights had been doing shifts in watching both Hamish and Vera since they arrived in her house. The two sure did take their time in waking up but they deserve the break after everything that has happened.

Hamish lay beside Vera and watched her sleep. He felt Tundra apologizing for taking too long to return. His delay prompted Vera to use her power to save his life which endangered hers. Hamish assured his hide that all is good with them. It was a risk he consented to. The goal was not to save himself. The goal was to save Vera and the world and they succeeded. Him being alive right now is pure luck.

After a few minutes, Vera had finally opened her eyes and saw Hamish looking back at her.

“How long have you been staring at me like that?” she asked in her hoarse voice.

“From the moment I woke up. You’re all I want to see”, he answered.

It sounds so cheesy and Vera wanted to point that out but she almost lost him just a while ago. Why would she complain with Hamish staring at her while she sleeps?

“What you did earlier…that was incredibly stupid”, she muttered.

“I would have settled for a subtle thank you”,

“It’s not funny, Hamish”, he stopped teasing when he saw the seriousness in her eyes, “You promised me you’re going to wait and then you did something like that which almost got you killed? Are you really keen on making promises that you’ll just break afterwards?”

Hamish did not expect her outburst. He had not thought how his decision to save her will affect her. All he thought about was keeping her alive and herself. He wants to save her so badly. Seeing her now and the fear in her eyes made him realized that she wants to save him so badly as well.

“Don’t do that to me again, Hamish. I can’t watch someone I love die again”, she whispered.

His heart beats faster. Did he just hear her right?

“Sorry…did you just tell me that I’m that someone you love?” he asked.

He’s anticipating her to back away, to pull back from slipping like that but she did not. She met his eyes with intensity.

“I love you, Hamish. I have loved you from the day you found me in that crappy basement. I couldn’t say it then because I was afraid that if I do, I would lose you…”

She pursed her lips and paused.

“The last people I said those words to were my parents and they died five minutes later. I have not said it to anyone ever since and when you told me that you love me, it scared me to say it back no matter how much I wanted to because I did not want you to die. Earlier, you almost did die and all I could think about was I can’t let you die. I can’t let you go without knowing that I love you too. I want you to hear it so I am saying this now. I am still afraid but it scared me more not being able to let you know how much I love you”, she confessed.

Hamish was not moved by the fact that he heard her say those three words. He’s touched by her openness. He knows how hard it is for her to say her feelings out loud like that and after that confession, her trauma from saying those three words to a person, it must have been extremely hard for her to get it out of her chest.

“I love you too, Vera. You may not have said it before but I know that you love me too. Actions speak louder than words. You show me every single day how much you love me. You make me feel it. Hell, you moved mountains to keep me and the pack alive. I screwed up a bunch of times and you’re still here with me. Those three words pale in comparison to that but I would be lying if I say it did not make me happy to hear you say those words to me”, he responded.

She smiled at him and he smiled back.

He cupped her face and pressed his lips onto hers and she eagerly responded. God, how much they both missed this. The feeling of almost losing each other increased their desire to cherish every moment connected with one another. If it’s possible, they never wanted to be apart or be in separate rooms. The fear of losing each other is the greatest fear they both have now. It’s far bigger than fearing their own deaths. As the kiss heated up, something sparked within Hamish and it broke Vera’s vanity mirror.

They both gasped and turned to the said mirror which is shattered now.

“Was that you?” he asked her.

Vera shook her head. She did not feel her magic flared up but she did feel the same magic only coming from another person.

“I think that was you”, she answered.

Hamish turned back to her with a frown.

“I don’t understand”, he said.

Vera sighed as she remembered what she tried to do earlier before she blacked out. She was so desperate to save his life, to will her magic to make it possible. She did not care what she was doing or what it would cost her. All that mattered was him.

“When you were unconscious earlier, I couldn’t wake you up. Your body was already healed but you just wouldn’t wake up. I remembered how the dark magic from the spell book in my vault healed me. It was my magic who summoned it because my will to survive was strong. Well, my will for you to survive is far greater than that for my own survival”,

He got nervous all of a sudden.

“Vera, what did you do?” he asked.

“I was not sure until now. All I wanted was to save you. I didn’t care how. I just let my magic do it. Give me your hand”, he frowned at the request but obliged.

She turned his palm upwards and gently glazed her hand at the back of his and his palm glowed. Few runes appeared on his wrist up to his arm which shocked Hamish.

“I transferred you part of my magic”, she answered.

Hamish recalled what Jack said earlier. They saw her runes entered his body. That’s why Lilith grabbed her away from him when she wouldn’t stop even after Tundra returned to his body.

“Was it like a spell to recharge my system or something? I mean, if that’s the case, you can take it back now. I am good”, he asked in confusion.

She pursed her lips.

“No, it was not like that. What it was like…I was subconsciously transferring my magic to you because that magic…” she inhaled, “…that magic is the only thing that’s keeping me alive”, she trailed off.

…but Hamish’s brain continued it for him. She was talking about the power the Vade Maecum gave her. It was the only thing that’s keeping her alive from the cancer of the Fors Factoram. She was transferring that magic to him to save his life the way it saved her. She was literally giving her life for him. He suddenly panicked.

“Take it back. I don’t need it anymore, Vera. Tundra is back inside of me. I’m okay. You can take it back. Take it back now, please. Take this magic back…” he started rambling.

She held his face and soothed his panic attack.

“Vera, please…”

“I can’t take it back. That part of my magic chose to be inside of you. It’s now a part of you”, she said.

“…but what about you? The cancer?” he asked in fear.

Vera allowed her eyes to turn green before pulling it back.

“I’ll be fine, Hamish. I still got a lot of magic in me. I’m going to be okay as well”, she answered.

Knowing that a part of her magic is in Hamish now made her feel at ease a little. She can be assured that whenever Tundra decided to leave Hamish’s body again, her magic in him will take care of him.

“…so, we’re both going to okay? For real?” he asked in caution.

Whenever they thought things are going pretty great, another curveball will be thrown at them.

“I think this time, we will be”, she answered with a smile.

He beamed at her and kissed her hard. She’s going to be okay. He’s going to be okay. God knows how long he’s been waiting for that moment. As they got lost in each other’s touch, runes lit up on their skins. Another thing comes to Hamish’s mind. He is now sharing the burden of her power. He felt Tundra rejoiced in him confirming his theory. Vera will no longer drift. She will no longer lose herself to magic because it no longer overwhelms her. They share it now and it’s his honor to carry a part of the weight she’s carrying on her shoulders.

The Knights suddenly burst inside the room, breaking their moment.

“Alright! We should say get a room but since we’re invading your room, you can continue that later because it’s time for…” Lilith tapped her hands onto the wall for a drumroll. “…group hug!” Randall announced.

“Oh no—” but before Vera can finish that, they already jumped on her body and she’s suddenly surrounded by arms pulling her close for a warm and loving embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> decided to give you a light one after bunch of angsty chapters...let's take a moment to breathe...


	24. Xavier

It took three days to clean up the mess left by the eruption sightings and Vera’s almost lost of control. Alyssa and Lilith both volunteered to join the rest of disciples in performing Respondeo in a worldwide scale. People need to forget about ever seeing those eruptions or the earthquake she caused when the Keres pushed her to almost destroying the world.

Vera paced herself with magic as a precaution. Although she felt lighter after parting some of her magic to Hamish, she still got so much in her and the risk of snapping is still there, not that she would tell it to Hamish. No. He’s been through enough. She cannot still move on from that day when he decided to have his hide leave his body to save her. Despite the immense she was under that time, she felt his own pain as he held her to give her comfort to get through it. The pain caused by her magic. She came too close to losing him forever.

“Penny for your thoughts”, she heard him say from her office door.

“Sorry. I was just thinking about things”, she apologized.

He came in with her favorite drink and placed it on her desk before walking around her desk and sat on the edge to be close to her.

“Lilith called. They finished doing the last Respondeo in Rhode Island. They’re coming back later so you can relax”, he informed her.

“Good”, she sighed. “I received a call later from Xavier and told me that some members of Praxis are still out there just waiting for their leader to be appointed, so I can’t relax just yet”, she relayed.

He frowned.

“Who’s Xavier?” he asked.

That’s right. She forgot that Hamish…most of her disciples are not aware of their neighboring magical society.

“Xavier is the leader of the Sons of Prometheus”, his frown got deeper, “They’re another magical secret society with a different way of living…but they’re good people and I knew Xavier before he became a promethean”, she answered.

Hamish knew there are other magical societies out there but another one in Norwich? It’s the first time he heard of it in his years as a Knight.

“Oh…if you like we can take on the job. I’ll take ethe pack and hunt for the remaining members of Praxis”, he offered.

He saw the shift on her face when he mentioned that. She suddenly became tensed. Of course, she tried to hide it from him but he already knows her well to see that she’s not comfortable with his suggestion and he also understood why.

“There’s no need. I have a meeting later with Xavier to discuss it. This matter also concerns his organization so we’ll see how that talk goes”, she declined.

It’s the best way she can turn down his offer without sounding dismissive or defensive. In truth, she does not like him to put himself out there for her peace of mind. She just wants him to be safe.

“Can I come with you?” she arched a brow, “I’ll behave. I promise. I’ll be your most behave disciple. Please? I just don’t like the idea of having you go out there on your own”, he requested.

Normally, she would hate that if other people say that to her. She’s too much of an independent to be chaperoned but it’s Hamish and she likes being with him. She also knows what he’s doing. Just like her, he also does not like her being at risk. What a pair they make…

“Prometheans don’t like werewolves”, she pointed out.

“They wouldn’t even know I am one”, he said.

Vera sighed and tapped her nails onto the desk.

“Fine. Just don’t drink anything they’ll offer. You wouldn’t like how that would feel in the morning”, she warned.

He was puzzled by that but did not ask and simply just nodded at her warning.

\----------------------------------

SONS OF PROMETHEUS COMPOUND

Hamish insisted on driving Vera with his car and not hers. He listened to her arguing with Kepler throughout the whole way there because Kepler insisted that meeting with the Prometheans is a mistake. Vera reiterated the treaty between two societies and that she is the Grand Magus and not Kepler.

“She really doesn’t like the Prometheans that much, huh”, he commented.

She smirked.

“Kepler doesn’t like anyone but she is not like that all the time. She has her moments but she’s not fond of the way Prometheans live their lives. They isolated themselves from the world, became self-sustained. Kepler thinks it’s so primitive especially for a group of people with magic. I don’t know”, she explained.

Hamish hummed.

“If you have no problem with them, I don’t think they can be that bad”, he said.

She smiled at that.

“No, they’re not”, he replied.

They finally arrived at the compound and Hamish’s jaw almost hit the ground. The compound is H-U-G-E. They got a whole plantation of everything all around and that explains the self-sustaining part. He totally gets it.

Vera came out of the car first and he followed her to the two people waiting for them at the porch of the big house.

“Grand Magus, good morning”, the woman looked at Hamish, “Xavier did not expect you to have some company”, she noted.

“I’m not feeling it to drive all the way here. Is he going to talk to me through you or he’ll let us in?” Vera asked.

The door opened on cue which made Hamish frowned. That’s just coincidence right?

“Forgive all the precaution. You know how it is here, Vee”, the man greeted as he walks down the porch.

“I do and it’s not my first time in this place either so you understand why the precaution annoys me, Xavier”, she responded.

All of a sudden, the whole exchange made Hamish uncomfortable. What is going on here?

“Are you going to introduce me to your companion?” he asked.

“Xavier, this is one of my finest disciple, Hamish Duke. Mr. Duke, this is Xavier, the leader of Sons of Prometheans”, she introduced them both.

Hamish extended his hand first and Xavier took it with a smile.

“It’s rare that Vee here gets fond of disciples so you must be something, Mr. Duke”, he said.

Vee? He calls her Vee.

“I try to be the best, sir”, Hamish replied politely.

Xavier laughed and turned to Vera.

“The Order still sticks with the subservience, huh”, he turned back to Hamish, “Can I offer you a drink then, Mr. Duke?” he offered.

Vera glanced over to Hamish and he remembered her warning at the temple.

“No, thank you”, he declined.

Xavier hummed and gestured towards Vera.

“Alright…shall we take a walk?” Vera nodded.

Hamish kept his distance as he followed the two while walking around the compound. Thanks to his supernatural hearing, he can hear everything they’re talking about.

“How is it being the Grand Magus, Vee? I thought you don’t like the whole politics of the Order”, Xavier asked.

“I still don’t, but I found it’s better than let some arrogant, narcissistic legacy takes the spot and ruined everything”, she answered.

“It’s impressive the way you beat Edward. Werewolves? You’re always the clever one”, he pointed out.

“They’re not all bad, Xavier. They’re good people too”,

Hamish felt so touched at Vera defending them to Xavier. It will be hell convincing other magical society people to accept them but Vera is doing her best.

“Well, if you can have them help us with this Praxis problem, we will appreciate it”, he said.

“No”, she quickly said.

Hamish listened closely.

“That was fast”, Xavier noted.

“We can take care of this ourselves”, she insisted.

“We can, of course. You can also destroy them with one spell though”, Xavier mentioned.

Is it possible? Hamish thought.

“Are you suggesting I commit a mass murder, Xavier?” she asked.

He shrugged.

“Praxis is not keen in preserving lives. Some of my members saw them torched a car filled with civilians after performing a spell. I don’t see the difference”, he answered.

Hamish noticed that Vera is actually considering it.

“So you called me out here to tell me your plan in dealing with Praxis is for me to slaughter them with one spell?” she asked again.

He shook his head.

“No. Well, that’s one point but there’s more. I want to see you again, Vee. It’s been a long time”, he answered.

Hamish did his best to remain calm and appeared clueless about their conversation.

“Xavier, we had this talk years ago”, she muttered.

“I know. I know. You can’t blame the guy for trying”, he replied.

Are they a thing back then? What is happening? Hamish wanted to go there to clear the air but he promised to behave.

“This is not going to work. I’m not available, Xavier”, she mentioned.

Xavier smiled.

“I see that. He’s cute”, Vera stiffened at his remarks. “Oh come on, Vee. We’ve known each other since college. I know what you look like when you’re into someone and that guy back there, you’re so into him”, he added.

Hamish saw Vera smiled a little.

“Good read, Xavier. See, you don’t need that mind juice to know that so you can stop offering him that drink”, she confirmed.

Mind juice…oh, Hamish thought. It’s why Vera warned him about it. It’s why the woman earlier was so coordinated with the others and the timing of Xavier opening the door. They’re all connected in their brains.

“Fair enough. Back to business then…what do you think about the plan?” he asked.

She thought about it for a moment.

“It’s a very good plan. I wonder why you don’t want to do it yourself”, she answered.

Xavier only gestured towards his head. Hamish got what he meant. They’re all connected. If he did the spell they’re talking about, his members will feel the aftermath of that spell he will cast. He will put them all under whatever the consequences it will be.

“To be honest, this is not the type of conversation I was expecting when you asked me here”, Vera sighed.

Xavier held her hand and Tundra almost pushed himself out of him to yank the man away from Vera.

“Believe me, it pains me to ask this of you but I don’t know anyone else who could do it other than you, Vee. I just can’t risk burdening my brothers and sisters with what that spell comes along with”, he explained.

She smiled sadly at Xavier before nodding her head. She gently cupped his face with one hand before pinching his nose and chuckled.

“You made the right decision in joining the Prometheans than the Order. We don’t deserve you in our organization. I’ll let you know when it’s done”, she said.

“Thank you, Vee”, Xavier replied.

Keeping it to himself, he simply made a mental note to have a serious talk with Vera when they returned to the temple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, I know in the show it seems like Vera and Xavier knew each other professionally but Xavier just got this vibe like a friend-zoned type of guy so I threw it in.


	25. Jealousy

The drive back to the temple was quiet. No one seems to want to start the conversation. Hamish was waiting for Vera to say something because he knows that she knew he heard everything. She knows but she suddenly turned into a mute. He wants explanation as to what she’s planning to do, what she agreed on doing but he held himself back until they arrived to the temple. The car is not an ideal place to have that kind of talk.

When they arrived at the temple, Hamish followed Vera straight to her office. It’s already seven o’clock in the evening so the temple is already empty which gave them some privacy. Still, he closed the door just to make sure.

“Okay, what happened back there? What’s the spell he was talking about?” he asked right away.

Vera sighed. She knew this was coming. Agreeing to have Hamish with her at the compound might be a bad idea after all. Damn his super-hearing.

“It’s a spell powerful enough to take down an entire group of people, or in this case, an entire organization in one blow”, she answered in a detached tone.

She kept her back on him. She really shouldn’t be talking about this to Hamish.

“You can get every member of Praxis with one spell?” he followed up.

Finally giving up, she turned to face him.

“Yes, one spell and they’re all gone”, she confirmed.

“Wait. If there’s a spell that can do that, why didn’t someone in the Council used that on us or any enemies of the Order?” he asked again.

She looked away for a second to magic herself a drink. She has a feeling she will need to be a little inebriated for this conversation.

“…because not everyone can perform the spell. It’s either they are not powerful enough to bear the toll of it, not willing enough to pay the sacrifice, or simply does not have the stomach to slaughter an entire organization”, she took a sip from the glass, “As you can see, none of those limitations apply to me”, she explained.

She’s definitely powerful enough to handle the spell. She does not need to do any sacrifice and it’s not like she does not know what it’s like to kill someone.

Hamish viewed it differently though. There is no question to Vera’s power. The idea of the toll that will dawn on her scares him. It’s not because her body can’t take it. He fears for her sense of self. She had not done any big magic spells after the Keres were pulled from her body by Tundra. Though they share her magic, he’s not certain that he got enough to keep her being herself when using excessive magic and for the last one, she’s no murderer. What happened before was different and it shook her to the core. He does not want to imagine what it would do to her if she kills number of people.

“Is it the only option?” he muttered.

He knows that if there’s a better one, Vera would choose that. Considering something like this means she’s running desperate.

“If the goal is to stop them from harming innocent people, it’s the best and fastest one”, she replied.

Praxis is not going to stop doing magic without sacrifices and sooner than later, they will start to cause another Tartarus eruption and Vera does not want to go through that again, not after the last time.

“Then, let me do it”, he suddenly said.

“What?”

“Let me do that spell”, he repeated.

“I don’t think you understand what you’re saying, Hamish”, she muttered.

“I do. Those limitations don’t apply to me either. I got part of your magic and I am a werewolf so there goes the power needed and the sacrifice. As for the last bit, you know I can stomach it. It’s practically my job description at first when I became a Knight so it’s not going to be a problem”, he laid out.

Other than Vera, there’s no one else in the temple more qualified to do the spell other than him. He’s not as powerful as Vera but he comes close.

She knows he can do it but her fear of losing him is getting the best of her and she does not want to risk him in any way, even with a spell.

“It’s not your job to do, Hamish. I am the Grand Magus of this Order so it’s mine to do. Besides, I already promised to Xavier that I’ll do it. If you did it, he will wonder how you’re able to do it considering you’re not at Temple Magus level”, she declined.

It’s a sound reasoning since she’s protecting his identity as a werewolf to be found out by the Prometheans even though they seemed nice but his jealousy that’s been brewing since Xavier showed himself earlier took over.

“So, you’re more concerned with pleasing Xavier now?” he asked with a different tone that surprised her.

“Hamish, you know this is not about Xavier”, she answered.

He scoffed.

“Yeah… _Vee_. All he had to do is walk you around his land, tease you a bit and he got you agreeing to what he wanted. Now, you insist on doing it yourself because you promised it to _him_ that you’ll do it personally? Come on, _Vee_ …” he exclaimed using the name Xavier used to call her.

Vera was confused for a moment at his sudden outburst but she realized what’s happening.

“Are you jealous of Xavier, Hamish?” she asked.

Hamish faked a look of ignorance.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”, he lied.

A smirk threatened to appear on her lips.

“Really?” he nodded, “So…you don’t feel anything when he held my hand or when I touched his face?”

That was responded with a growl coming from Hamish. He grabbed the back of her head and slammed his lips into hers, kissing her roughly. Yes, he is jealous. He started touching the spots on her body that he knows makes her wet and in less than five minutes, she’s already whimpering in his arms.

“I did feel something earlier”, he licked her pulse point on her neck, “I wanted to rip his heart out of his body and stepped on it until it’s nothing but a goo on the ground”, he expressed before digging his teeth into her shoulder.

Vera gasped at the pleasure that the pain elicits. He just described to her how brutal he pictured killing Xavier is. His aggressive manner now due to his possessiveness and jealousy sent shivers down her spine and she felt the ache in her core, wanting him to devour her whole.

“God, Hamish…” she moaned.

He picked her up and cleared her desk with one arm before setting her there.

“I don’t like him holding your hand. I don’t like any men holding your hand like that”, he made it very clear before removing her underwear and going down on her.

She arched into his ministrations and his determined pressure on her center is already nearing success to send her over the cliff.

“Fuck…I’m close already!” she moaned and he only increased the pace in addition to his fingers already pumping her.

Vera swore some more before the wave of orgasm hits her and she buckled.

“I need you inside me now, please”, she pleaded.

He likes the sound of it so he asked her to say it again.

“…please”, she repeated and he granted her wish and entered her hard.

Hamish was unforgiving in his thrusts that her desk shook from the force. He wanted to erase the image of Xavier holding her hand or her touching his face, even the image of her smiling at Xavier’s way. His eyes started glowing in silver as the runes he got from Vera appeared on his skin. It’s the first time Vera saw it on someone else’s body and it caught her breath away. She can feel the magic coming from him and it’s strange. It feels familiar for her only now, it’s not coming from within her body.

“It looks good on you”, she muttered.

He became aware of the runes on his body and her gaze filled with adoration and lust. It fueled his movements and he’s literally hammering her on her desk. Vera bit her lower lip until she tasted her own blood before letting go for the second time.

“Hamish…”

Her eyes lit up in green. Her own runes burned on her skin and the sensation of their magic meeting, combining, had pulled Hamish into the abyss and growled her name.

He laid on top of her for a few seconds before he pushed himself up to look at her. It was right on time to see the green in her eyes faded and her blue ones resurfaced. The runes on their bodies are now gone.

“If I have known you’ll fuck me this good, I would have made you jealous a long time ago”, she teased.

He frowned at her which made her laughed.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he asked in concern.

He’s aware he went too rough on her. He couldn’t help it. He was filled with overwhelming jealousy and possessiveness. It’s just the idea of anyone wanting to be with her gets him triggered.

“No, you did not”, she gently ran her fingers on his face, “I don’t want anyone else, Hamish. I only want you. I only need you. Always remember that. You might see me smiling for other people or touching their faces but I need you to know that it meant nothing to me. It does not compare to touching you. There’s only you, Hamish”, she answered.

He leaned in to her touch. Of course, at the back of his mind, he knows Vera is not interested in Xavier or other people. She turned him down in front of him and did not deny being with him in front of Xavier earlier. He knows in his heart that whenever other men tried to pursue her, she will turn them down in an instant. He trusts her. It’s just his jealousy that he cannot control. Perhaps, it’s the fact that she can be with anyone she chooses that scares him. What if she wakes up one day and realize he’s not what she wants anymore? She’s too good for him and he’s aware of that. That’s why any men who try to get her attention is a threat for him.

“I don’t think I can live in this world without you in my life, Vera”, he confessed.

“You’ll never know what it’s like because I’m not going anywhere”, she responded.

She pulled him for another kiss but this time, gentler than earlier.

“I love you”, he said.

“I love you too, Hamish”, she replied.

\-----------------------------------

After they had cleaned up both themselves and her office magically, he watched her opened a spell book from her reliquary.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to do the spell? I can do it. I know I can”, he asked again.

He’s not comfortable with the idea of what she’s about to do and it scares him what it will do to her mind afterwards but he also recognized her position as Grand Magus. As the leader of the Knights, he would also insist on doing it if the situation is reversed.

“It’s alright. Don’t worry about me, Hamish. I’m going to be alright. You can help me prepare though if you’re really willing to be of service”, she answered with a smile before handing him over the list of ingredients she needs for the spell.

He smiled back and nodded.

“Of course, Grand Magus”, he replied and left her office to get the ingredients she needs.

Vera watched him walk away before staring at the spell on her desk. Performing it is not an issue. She knows Hamish will be able to do it without breaking a sweat. It’s the aftermath she’s trying to protect him from. Anyone who performs it will be able to see the deaths of their enemies. It’s a messed up thing to put into a spell but for some reason, whoever created the spell liked to take pleasure from watching his enemies die. The spell is going to kill probably hundreds of people. That’s a lot of death and she’s not going to subject Hamish into watching all of them die, not if she can help it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my brain is being flooded with ideas right now and i can't seem to focus on one story so forgive the delay...


	26. Together We Fall

When Hamish returned, he watched Vera set up everything on the altar. He knows there’s no stopping her once she sets her mind to it. He wants to be supportive and despite her assurances that she will be okay to do the incantation, he knows in his guts that there’s a catch with this one. There’s always a catch with big spells. That’s why Xavier couldn’t do it himself no matter how badly he wants to.

“When I start, I need you to step out of the circle, okay?” she asked.

Everything is all set on the altar and he can feel her magic brewing inside her.

“Can I still kiss you for good luck?” he requested.

She smiled at him and nodded.

Hamish walked towards her and put his lips on her forehead first before going down her cheeks and then her lips. He wanted to savor her, cherish her. His right hand brushing her hair until it stopped on her temple. He pulled back and went close to her ear.

“Dormitum Dimittatur”, he whispered and Vera collapsed in his arms.

He pulled her away from the circle and set her gently on the pillow and bedding he procured for her on the floor.

“I’m sorry, Vera. I can’t let you sacrifice a piece of yourself again”, he apologized in advance before entering the circle himself.

Everything he needs to know is already laid out on the altar. He summoned the power Vera shared to him and his eyes lit up in silver before runes appeared on his skin. He flicked his fingers to light up the candles and carefully followed the instructions on the spell sheet.

“Mors sequentur te. Erit tuae mortis vestra nectunt. Nulla fugae”, he chanted.

He felt the wave of the magic hit him before it starts to hurt. One by one he felt death claimed members of Praxis which turned out to be more than expected. His chest hurts so much that he almost curled in on himself but Tundra assisted him in pulling himself together to finish the incantation. He can hear their screams, feel their last breath be taken away from them. He even heard their families’ cries before they dropped dead on the ground. His knuckles turned white from gripping the altar so hard. Tundra is holding on for him and when he felt the last one dropped, he finally allowed himself to fall.

The incantation is done. They’re all dead. His brain is flooded with all of their faces. He can still feel the pain on their last moments. They all live inside his mind now and he can’t shake them off. He figured this is the catch. This is why Vera was adamant on not letting him do the spell. She’s trying to spare him for this horrible situation but he’s glad he did it himself. At least, he was able to save Vera from this overwhelming guilt.

“Hamish?” her voice is laced with fear and disbelief.

He dared to look at her. She’s already on her feet, staring at him in shocked eyes. Then, her eyes landed on the altar.

“What did you do?” she asked in horror.

All of the ingredients had been used and Hamish is on the floor.

“I’m sorry, Vera, but I can’t let you carry this one too”, he gave her a sad smile, “Let me bear this cross for once”, he answered.

Tears fell freely from her eyes. She’s left frozen. For once, she does not know what to do. Hamish put her to sleep and did the incantation himself. She knows what’s going on inside his brain at this moment, what he’s seeing, what he’s feeling.

“Oh god…” she muttered and turned her back on him.

Her brain is already racing on ways to help ease his pain. There’s a reason why that spell was not use so often and that’s because whoever tries to do it, ends up being so miserable that they took their own lives to stop the pain. She suddenly felt his hands on her shoulders.

“I’ll be okay, Vera. I’m a lot tougher than I look”, he whispered.

She sighed.

“It’s not supposed to be you”, she turned to him and she failed to stop herself from hitting his chest in her frustration, “Why did you have to do that?! That was supposed to be me!” she exclaimed.

He let her release her frustration before he grabbed her arms and stopped her from hurting her hands from hitting him.

“Stop…stop…I’m sorry. I’m sorry”, he pulled her into his arms and held her tight as she sobs, “I’m sorry but I can’t let you endure this, not after everything. I’m so sorry. I love you so much to let you do this”, he muttered.

\------------------------------------

Vera remained quiet until they reached her house. She still couldn’t believe what Hamish did. Of course, she understood why he did it. It’s the same thing she tried to do for him but he beat her to it. She knows he’s tough and he had his fair share of guilt in his life and she does not want to add to it but she failed at that. He almost died for her and now, he sentenced himself to a lifetime worth of guilt.

“Stop thinking about it, Vera”, he said.

She looked at him and saw him staring back at her.

“You don’t even know what I was thinking”, she replied.

“You’re thinking of something to take away what’s in my head. You’re probably enumerating spells right now in that brilliant head of yours and I want you to stop”, he explained.

He’s right and she hates that he can read her like that when she failed to read what he’s planning to do earlier at the temple.

“That’s not going to go away, Hamish”, she muttered.

“I told you I am a lot tougher than you think”, he reiterated.

She shot him a glare.

“There’s been a few tough people who did the spell thinking the same thing and they ended up taking their own lives because they couldn’t bear it anymore”, she snapped.

He saw fear in her eyes. She fears he will give up too and kill himself to stop the guilt from eating him.

“I will not do that to you, Vera”, he said gently.

He will not subject her to that kind of pain especially when he’s certain she will blame herself for it.

“You can’t promise me that, Hamish. It’s easy to say now but can you still say that to me with absolute certainty years from now?” she asked.

He wanted to say yes but how many times did he break a promise to Vera? Can he really promise he will be this strong in the coming years? What if it gets too much and he failed?

_‘I won’t let you give up’_

Tundra assured him that he will not fail Vera.

“Yes, I promise”, he answered.

She wanted to hold on to that but it’s a tall order to fulfill even for a werewolf. Instead of responding, she just buried herself in his arms, afraid that he will leave her soon.

“I love you”, she whispered and he caught it.

“I love you too, Vera”, he replied.

\------------------------------------

Hamish bear it well the following days. The news of eliminating Praxis spread fast and everyone rejoiced. Xavier had called her to give his thanks as well as the Council but she couldn’t bring herself to be happy. Her mind is still worrying about Hamish even though he’s doing well considering what his brain contains. She’s glad though that the pack is keeping him occupied, always bugging him and annoying the hell out of him. It takes his attention away from dwelling on deaths of hundreds of people.

On the third week after Hamish casted that incantation, toll started to take on him. Vera would sometimes caught him staring into space, eyes lost into horrifying memories of what he has done. She would call his attention and tries her best to keep him away from the darkness but as soon as he’s alone, she knows he’s sinking.

Fear creeps into her as day passes by. Hamish grew quieter and distant. She knows he tries his best to be there for her but he’s struggling and despite her efforts to pull him out, the darkness is too strong for her to fight.

The nightmare followed and she would be woken up with him screaming. He would try to hide how he’s too shaken by it but she can hear him in the bathroom. One night, she was not woken up by Hamish’s scream. A jolt of pain woke her up. She gasped as blood started oozing from her thigh. She waved her hand to turn the light on and saw herself bleeding. Hamish is staring at her bloody thigh with wide eyes. His claws are still out, covered in her blood.

“I’m so sorry…I did not mean—”

She’s quick to heal it before trying to reach for him but he already bolted out of the bed and ran out of the house.

Hamish did not come home the next day and three more days after that. Vera could barely function. Fear is paralyzing her. She’s afraid he had already done it, that he had already taken his own life to stop the pain. She did a tracking spell and found him at the Den. She felt a little relief to know he’s safe at least.

“Is he okay?” she asked Jack once when she saw him at the temple.

Jack looked at her worriedly.

“Physically, yes. I am not sure about the rest. He’s miserable”, he answered.

She knows that does not begin to cover it.

“Can I see him?” she asked hesitantly.

Jack shook his head.

“He asked us that if you try to go to the Den that we should stop you. He does not want you to come”, he answered.

That hurts a lot. He’s suffering and he does not want her. She bit her lower lip and simply nodded before locking herself inside her office.

Two more days and she seemed to have lost herself in her work. She had not seen Hamish in almost a week. Jack and the others update her on his condition but she feels herself slipping into numbness. She did not do the spell but she’s being filled with overwhelming guilt. It’s supposed to be her suffering not him. It’s her fault he found out of that spell. She should have hidden it well. She should not have brought him with her in the Promethean compound.

“Grand Magus?”

Vera looked up and saw Alyssa standing by her door with worried look in her eyes.

“Yes?” she asked.

“I’m sorry but have you gone home yet?” the blonde asked her back.

Vera blinked a few times, thinking about the last time she went to her house and it felt like ages ago.

“…not recently”, she answered.

“I figure because you’re still wearing the same clothes in like two days in a row…three days now because it’s already seven in the morning”, Vera does not know that, “Do you want to go home for a few hours? The Council will be here after lunch”, she reminded her.

Vera totally forgot about that. She quickly got on her feet and grabbed her purse and key.

“Thank you. I’ll be back for the meeting”, she said and left.

\-----------------------------------

By the time she entered her house, her vision is already spinning. It’s pure luck she was able to get to her house because she’s already crawling the walls to get to her bedroom and her closet. She hastily picked out a dress before she entered her bathroom. She’s been feeling like shit lately and maybe a cold shower will help her be in the mood to face the Council later.

When she caught sight of herself on the mirror, she wanted to throw up. That’s the face that drove Hamish into the pit of despair and guilt and the darkness that refused to let him go. Now, he’s suffering and he does not even want to see her. She gripped the sink tight, trying to quell the tears. She has no time to sob right now. She has job to do.

Vera turned around too quickly and everything spiraled around her. She tried to grasp for anything solid and stable around her to stabilize herself but found none and she ends up falling. Her head hits the edge of the tub and she fell unconscious on the bathroom floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They just can't live without one another and if the other one is suffering, the other suffers too.


	27. You Won't Have To Do It Alone

Kepler arrived along with the rest of the Council at the temple but Vera is not around. Alyssa did her best to entertain them but they are growing restless. Vera is never late to anything. Everyone knows that so this is odd. Alyssa made up a lie of her being caught up in a meeting at the school and promised to get her right away. She tried to call her on her cell but Vera is not answering so she decided to go to her house instead.

“Grand Magus?” she called when she got inside but still, no one is answering.

For a moment, she thought about that maybe Vera had already left but her car was parked outside.

“Grand Magus, I’m coming up!” she announced so she wouldn’t startle her.

Alyssa found Vera’s bedroom where a dress is laying on top of the bed. Maybe she’s getting ready but she cannot hear any running water inside the bathroom.

“Grand Magus? It’s Alyssa Drake! The Council is already looking for you at the temple”, she said out loud but she cannot hear anything on the other side of the door.

It made her nervous. She closed her eyes and prayed that she’s not naked on the other side because Vera is definitely going to kill her. Once she mustered the courage, Alyssa opened the bathroom door and slowly peeked inside.

“Grand Magus, I—”

Her eyes landed on the pool of blood on the floor before she was able to fully open the door and saw Vera laying there unconscious.

“Oh my god, Vera!” she hurried next to her and lifted her head only to discover the blood is coming from her head.

Alyssa quickly worked her magic to heal her head. She did not fail to notice the blood on the edge of the bathtub which informed her what happened. She slipped and hit her head on the bathtub. She kept on going until she’s sure her head wound is fully healed before she performed a cleaning incantation to clean the blood on the floor.

Vera opened her eyes few seconds later and saw her with her.

“Ms. Drake? What are you doing here?” she asked.

“Thank god…uhm, I came here to get you. The Council is already at the temple. Then, I found you here on the floor. You must have slipped and hit your head on the tub but I already healed everything”, Alyssa answered with a big smile on her face.

The mention of the Council sprung her into action.

“Fuck, I’m late”, she got up too quickly and she felt the nausea but she fought it off. “Care to wait outside. I need to take a shower. It will not take long”, she said.

Alyssa stared at her with a frown. A few minutes ago, she’s laying on top of the pool of her own blood and now she’s rushing to get to the Council meeting.

“Of course, Grand Magus”, she replied and stepped out.

Few minutes later, Vera stepped out of the bathroom wrapped only in a towel and Alyssa realized how skinny Vera is. She did lose a lot of weight. Has she eaten anything in the last couple of days? She cannot remember since Vera did not leave her office for almost three days straight. Perhaps that’s why she passed out and bled all over her bathroom earlier. Before she realized it, Vera is all set up to go to the meeting.

“Shall we, Ms. Drake?”

Alyssa followed her to her car and Vera drove them to the temple. She had explain the excuse she told the Council and Vera appreciates the cover up for her tardiness.

“You’re late, Vera”, Kepler greeted.

“Come on, Bitsy. There’s a first for everything”, Vera greeted back and they all went inside her office and closed the door.

\---------------------------------

Meanwhile in the Den, Hamish had locked himself up down the basement as he drowns in guilt. He still couldn’t shake the fact that he had hurt Vera while they’re sleeping. It’s hard to carry the deaths of hundreds of people in his brain but to see her blood on his claws? That’s the tipping point. He knows he needs to get away from her to avoid hurting her in the future. If he cannot control his impulses when he’s disoriented, he needs to stay away from her.

Tundra is keeping his promise to him and he helps him to stay sane and to keep on fighting. Despite isolating himself, he does not stop taking care of himself. He eats on time. He tries to sleep to the best of his ability. He promised to her that he’s not going to take his own life. He just can’t be with her because he’ll only end up hurting her.

Jack had mentioned that she wants to come see him. She can’t see him like this, all curled up in the dusty basement. She does not need to carry that image of him because he knows she’s going to blame herself for it. He did tell Jack to reassure her that he’s not going to break his promise to her.

He had contented with the fact that Vera is safe far from him. He can never hurt her again if he’s not in the same room as her.

It was until Alyssa came in barging into the Den looking for Jack. He did not respond but he listened to the conversation upstairs.

“What happened?” Jack asked her.

“He needs to come back to Vera”, she answered.

Hamish tensed. Did Vera send Alyssa?

“I told you this already. He does not want to be near her yet. He’s still afraid that he will hurt her”, Jack explained.

“You don’t understand. She’s already hurting. Did you know she did not leave her office for almost three days straight? She would have stayed today too if I had not reminded her there’s a Council meeting and when I went to her house to get her, I found her unconscious inside the bathroom”,

“What?” Jack cut in.

“She must have passed out and hit her head on the tub because she had not eaten in days, Jack. She’s throwing herself at work because she does not want to think about Hamish. I know why he’s doing this but it’s not helping. She’s blaming herself and we all know that. You have to talk to Hamish. He needs to come back”, she explained.

Hamish heard it all and it only added to his guilt. He’s already far from her and he’s still hurting her. He’s about to drown further into the darkness when Tundra nudged him from the inside. He reminded her that Vera was hurt earlier and he was not even there to help her. What if Alyssa had not come at her house?

The thought scared Hamish. He could have lost Vera and he wouldn’t even know it because he’s too busy being miserable. He’s trying to keep her safe but he might have involuntarily put her at risk.

When Jack entered the basement, Hamish is already on his feet.

“You heard it?” Jack asked.

“Everything”, he answered.

Jack simply nodded and allowed him to pass. Hamish took a quick shower before heading to the temple.

\------------------------------------

Alyssa had informed him that Vera is still inside her office after the meeting but when he got inside, she’s not around. He thought at first that she left and went home but he caught the wind of her scent and he knows where she went.

He opened her vault and went down there, knowing he can pass her protective enchantments and found her standing inside her vault, staring at the secret bookshelf in the room. His heart beats faster.

“Whatever you’re thinking, stop”, he said with firmness.

He’s not going to let her deal with that kind of magic again. The last time almost cost them their lives including the entire world.

She quickly turn around at the sound his voice and he saw how bad she looks. The dark circles under her eyes could be barely hidden by her makeup. She looked skinnier too than the last time he saw her. What was he thinking leaving her like that?

“Are you really back?” she asked, afraid that he’s just her hallucination.

It was not the first time she hallucinated that Hamish is standing in front of her.

The sound of her voice makes his heart hurts so he closed the distance between them and pulled her into his arms. She needs to know he’s real and that he’s not leaving her again.

“I’m sorry”, he felt her arms cling to his body tight, “I was so scared of hurting you again”, he apologized.

She sobbed on his chest.

“I thought I am going to lose you”, she admitted.

She literally thought of the worst and she’s so close in seeking help from the forbidden magic to help him. She’s desperate. She can’t lose him like that, not like that when it’s supposed to be her.

“I almost lost you”,

She knows that Alyssa had informed him somehow of what happened in her bathroom. When she pulled away to look at him, she can see that he’s wondering if it’s an accident or deliberate.

“It was an accident. I was lightheaded and I tried to take a shower”, she explained.

“You did not leave your office for days. You did not eat. You did not sleep”, he stated.

For that, she’s very much guilty of.

“If I stop working, I’ll keep on thinking about how you’re doing or if there’s anything I can do to help you”, she glanced over the bookshelf and sighed, “That was the only thing I could think of and I know what happened the last time I sought help subconsciously from that magic. I was tempted, still am, so I had to work”, she explained further.

Hamish waved his hand, closing the shelf and hiding it within the wall.

“We’ll think of something but not like that. Do you understand me? Not that one”, he asked.

She stared at him at first. Is he considering magic now to ease what’s intruding his brain?

“Would you let me help you?” she asked him back.

“I would if you promised never to touch those books again”, he answered.

Of course, she has to think of another way to help Hamish. It’s still a question where she can find a spell that will ease his pain that does not require dabbling with dark magic but she’ll find it.

“I promised”, she agreed.

\---------------------------------

When they got home that day, Hamish was confronted with evidence on how she stopped taking care of herself since he left the house. The leftovers of the last meal he cooked for her is still in the fridge, left untouched. The bed has barely been slept at and she has not changed the sheets since her dried blood is still there. The bottles of wine are gone though. Vera saw him analyzing everything and she let out a sigh. He’s not meant to see the state of the house like that. The following days, she couldn’t bear to be in there alone so she refused to go home knowing Hamish will not be there so with a wave of her hand, everything was cleaned in an instant.

Hamish looked at her with sorrow in his eyes. She can see him already blaming himself for how she reacted to him leaving.

“Stop, please…” she cupped his face, “I don’t want the blaming and guilt to infest our home again”, she pleaded.

_Our home…_

That sticks in Hamish and it pacifies the storm within him. It calms the waves and it dulled the horrid images of people dying in his brain. He got so much to live for with Vera to allow himself to be pulled down into the darkness. She is doing her best to keep him floating but he must also help himself to keep his head above water.

“You’re right. I’ll do my best. I can’t promise that I will not hurt you again but I’ll do my best to control myself”, he said.

She smiled at him.

“I’ll help you. You won’t have to do it alone”, she replied.


	28. One Last Ritual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took so long to get this one out. Something happened in my life and it prevented me from writing for days so here it is...

Vera did her best to help. She had used the connection of the magic she imparted on him to ease his torment when it gets tough. He does not like it but the relief it brought him takes the protest out of his mouth each time. She’s only getting partial of what’s infesting in his mind and she already felt like drowning. It’s no wonder Hamish decided to isolate himself down the basement of the Den.

She had called every connection she has in the Order for any spell that will help him. Socializing and putting up with some of the Order’s arrogance and politics for years came into fruition. Many suggestions were brought in to her attention with regards to helping Hamish relieved of the nightmare in his head due to the spell. She carefully laid it all in her office, studied them day and night. As long as they’re good magic, all’s fair game.

Meanwhile, Hamish watched her as she worked her ass off in trying to find a way to help him. The guilt is threatening to pull him down but he did promise to her that he will let her help and in return, she promised that she will never touched those evil books again. He knows that she will do anything to help him and he cannot let her play around with those dark spells. The risk is just too high.

“Yes, thank you”, she said, ending her nth call of the day.

“You look happy”, he noted.

She smiled at him.

“I am”, she confirmed.

“Care to share?”

“That was a friend from Florence, Italy. He found the last spell I need to do this incantation. It will allow me to dissect your memories so I can separate those brought to you by the incantation from your real memories. It’s a long process but I can do it”, she explained.

Normally, he would immediately bail out of that thought but the confidence in her voice made it impossible to do so.

“So, basically it’s a memory surgery?” he asked.

“Hmmm…to make it simpler, sure, you can call it that”, she answered.

He shrugged. Maybe there’s hope for him after all. If this works, he no longer has to feel and recall all of those deaths again and again and Vera no longer has to pull some of it towards her to help him. They can finally continue their lives in peace.

“Alright…I’m ready”, he decided.

“That’s good…call the others. I need a lot of werewolf blood for this”, she instructed.

\-----------------------------------

“You’re kidding…you’re going to operate on Hamish’s memories?” is the first thing that came out of Randall’s mouth when they told them the plan.

Vera sighed while Hamish reassure the pack that he will be alright and he trusts her to do it successfully.

“Is there really no other way to help him?” Jack asked.

Hamish turned to look at Vera and he saw the other option flashed in her eyes. He felt ill to see that she’s still considering it and his resolve strengthen.

“No, there’s no other way”, he answered without averting his gaze from her.

Vera only pursed her lips. She did thought about the other spell. It is easier and it does not risk damaging his brain but who knows what will be the consequences of that spell.

“Why am I sensing that there is?” Lilith asked.

“Lil—”

“It’s something we cannot afford to do without risking raising hell”, Vera cut Hamish off before he could snap at Lilith.

The others seemed to have gotten a sense of why the mere suggestion of it put Hamish on edge. They may not know what exactly that other option is but they’re certain that it will put Vera at risk as well as many lives more and Hamish wouldn’t allow that.

“Alright…what do you need from us?” Jack asked.

“Blood…I need a lot of werewolf blood”, she answered.

Randall groaned in protest before rolling up his sleeves.

“Fine. Just…be gentle”, he yielded.

\------------------------------------

Everything is set for the ritual inside the altar room. Hamish has been dressed in white robe while Vera and the rest are in black. She had asked him to lay down the altar before she surrounded him with different herbs. He couldn’t make out what she’s uttering as she went along. It surely was not Latin. When she passed beside him, he picked up on her growing anxiety. He had caught her hand and stopped her from walking.

“It’s going to work, Vera. I have faith in you”, he assured her.

A smile formed upon her lips. She knows she can make it work. She’s just nervous that it’s Hamish on the altar table and not someone else. She’s scared to fail.

“Thank you”, she replied before resuming her work.

Once she’s done, she moved to dabbing her fingers into the bowl filled with werewolf’s blood. She started chanting and the wolves’ hearing began to ring. She traced a symbol on Hamish’s forehead using the blood and the ringing intensifies.

“That hurts…” Randall groaned.

“Good…you’re here because I need to know this is working. You sense magic and I need to know how bad it hurts. You’ll be my indicator since Hamish will be unconscious while I do this. If it gets too much, I need to stop and allow his brain to rest. So, I need all of you to be here. Just one of you to carry the pain of this ritual’s ringing is going to be hell so it’s better if all of you share”, Vera explained.

“Don’t worry. We can take it”, Lilith said proudly.

Vera smiled at her before starting the actual incantation.

Hamish was put to sleep as Vera’s magic swirled the altar. Threads of golden rays formed at the tips of her fingers before latching on his head. Her eyes lit up in green as she began diving into the pool of Hamish’s memories. She makes sure to be careful. One mistake can cause irreparable damage to his brain. She browsed his mind until she was able to reach a portion oozing with the magic. She knows she found her destination.

Meanwhile, the Knights held on as Vera started taking piece by piece of the memories of the death of Praxis members from Hamish’s brain. It was excruciating but they can take it. They watched as Vera moved her fingers gracefully, pulling golden threads from his head like she’s stroking keys on the piano.

It went on for almost two hours. Hamish has been reliving hundreds of deaths in his head. When Vera got to the last of it, she saw a glance of the night Hamish had a nightmare and ended up hurting her on bed. She saw the anguish and despair on his face as he ran into the woods, beating himself up for what he had done. Vera was tempted to erase that too from his head, to spare him from guilt, but she knows it’s not why she’s doing the incantation. She’s not there to alter his own memories. She’s there to take away the ones causing him pain.

Mustering all the courage she can get along with self-control, Vera pulled herself out of Hamish’s brain. Her surrounding became visible for her again and saw the Knights on the floor, panting after enduring two hours of discomfort bordering on pain.

“Is it done?” Jack asked.

“Yes”, she answered briefly.

She stared at Hamish’s face. He looked so peaceful. She waved her hand, cleaning the herbs away as well as the other materials they used for the ritual before planting a soft kiss on Hamish’s cheek to wake him up.

He opened his eyes and saw her smiling down on him.

“You must be the goddess of beauty they keep on talking about…” he muttered.

Vera chuckled.

“I did not alter your brain that way, Hamish”, she replied and he returned her smile. “How do you feel?” she asked.

Hamish went silent for a moment, feeling his own mind.

“It’s gone, Vera. I don’t feel and see it anymore”, he answered in delight before pushing himself up the altar and capturing her lips on his own.

That earned a collective groan from the Knights who witnessed it. Hamish felt Vera smirked upon his lips and he deepened the kiss just to annoy the pack who yelled at them to get a room and then they broke the kiss.

“You heard them”, she frowned, “They said get a room”, he jumped out of the altar and scooped her from the floor.

“Hamish! Put me down!” Vera exclaimed.

He had carried her while laughing all the way to her office before he put her down the couch and locked the door with a wave of his hand.

“Now, we have a room”, he announced and launched at her.

Vera was not able to say anything as his lips attacked hers and all she could ever do is melt. She can feel his relief, his happiness to be free, his love.

“You did lock the door, right?” she asked in between kisses.

“Way ahead of you, baby”, he answered and pushed towards the desk before lifting her high enough for her to sit on it.

Her head fall back when he started eating her mercilessly. God, how much she missed this…but something has pulled her back from the haze of pleasure. She felt his left hand tracing her thigh, the exact spot he cut open with his claws during his nightmare.

“Stop”, her voice came out hard and stern.

Hamish pulled his face away from her center and found her staring at her hard.

“I’m sorry”, he apologized.

She cupped his face and pulled him up to level at her.

“It’s not your fault, Hamish. You have to stop blaming yourself because I don’t blame you”, she took a deep breath, “When I was in your head earlier, I almost erased that night from your head because I don’t want you to keep on feeling this way but I stopped myself because I have to trust that you’re strong enough to handle it. I have to have to same faith in you as you do me. It’s not your fault. You never meant to hurt me. Stop blaming yourself”, she said.

Hamish recognized how hard it was for her to let it go and allow Hamish to deal with his own guilt and self-blaming. She could have easily taken away that night from his head but she put her trust in him. He needs to try to work on it.

“I will try my best. I promise”, he replied.

That seems to be enough for her.

“Good. Then, let’s go home”, she said.

She waved her hand to change back to their clothes earlier before unlocking the door.

“I love you, Vera”, he declared.

A smile appeared on her face.

“I love you too, Hamish”, she responded.

It may not be the last obstacle they will face in life but one thing is for sure, they will face it together…no matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading this one and sharing your thoughts about the plot. I appreciate it. Thank you!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Any thoughts?


End file.
